A Season of Change Read online

  “I am.” Benjamin had felt badly about skipping the service, but even though mingling with people he didn’t know was unappealing, he wasn’t doing right by God if he used that as an excuse not to worship. He wondered if Rose would be there. The kisses they shared still lingered in his mind.

  His mother shuffled her food around on her plate, twisting her mouth from side to side as she kept her head down. “Benny, maybe you should give that woman, Rose, another chance.”

  Benjamin set his fork down and waited for his mother to look at him. “Nee.”

  “But you said she was beautiful, and”—she shrugged—“one date isn’t really enough to get to know a person.”

  “Mamm.” He glared at her. “I don’t need you to worry about mei love life, or lack thereof. Rose is beautiful . . . but the woman doesn’t talk at all. And since I struggle with that, too, we are not a gut match.” Again, the kisses flashed through his mind. “Do you want me to move out? Is that why you’re so anxious for me to find a fraa?”

  His mother’s jaw dropped as she brought a hand to her chest. “Nee, of course I don’t want you to move out. I mean, I want you to find someone to share your life with, but you don’t interfere with mei life, sohn. I’d miss you if you left, but I pray that you’ll find that special someone.”

  Benjamin had just about decided that wasn’t going to happen.

  * * *

  Esther bid their three guests farewell Saturday morning. As was often the case during the summer, they chose not to spend a second night. They tried to pay for the night anyway, but as always, Esther said she appreciated the offer but that payment for the unused night wasn’t necessary. The English were just too dependent on their air-conditioning. She doubted they’d have many guests the remainder of the month and through August.

  Rose was upstairs, already starting to clean the rooms the ladies had stayed in. Lizzie was putting an apple pie in the oven when Esther came into the kitchen.

  “I hope Gus can smell that pie baking all the way from his cottage.” Esther sat down at the table and picked up a chocolate chip cookie from a platter, taking a big bite.

  Lizzie closed the oven, turned to face Esther, and folded her arms across her chest. “It’s about time you saw how detestable that man is.”

  Esther swallowed and reached for another cookie. “He’d been making positive strides toward being kinder. He can truly be a gut person when he wants to be, but I’m having a hard time getting past this deceitful hospital vacation.”

  Lizzie wiped her mouth with her apron, and Esther was about to say something just to release some anger. She took a big breath instead, and after she’d slowly released it, she ate the second cookie. When she was done, she looked at Lizzie, who was scowling.

  “What are you looking at me like that for?” Esther hoped she wasn’t going to bring up the flowers again.

  Her sister continued to scowl. “I think you care more about Gus than you let on.” She paused, raising her chin a little. “That’s what I think.”

  Esther sighed. “Of course I care about the man. Why do you think I’ve strongly encouraged him to change some of his ways? But you and Rose need to stop saying the flowers are from Gus. We have a friendship that barely hangs on by a thread. And that’s all.”

  Lizzie tapped a finger to her chin. “Hmm . . . I seem to recall Jayce saying Gus likes you more than as just a friend.”

  “Rubbish. And I’m tired of all this talk.” Esther reached for another cookie, but pulled her hand back. Her middle was growing. Partly from lack of exercise and no more extra trips upstairs or other strenuous activity. But it might not hurt to ease off sweets a little. Maybe if she lost a little weight, her knees wouldn’t give her such grief.

  “Then I guess it’s back to suspects one and two, Harvey or Edgar.” Lizzie raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you want to at least ask them if they sent the flowers?”

  Esther recalled how awkward it was to question Gus about the delivery. “Nee, I don’t.” She lifted herself up and went outside to get some fresh air.

  As she stood on the porch, she pondered even more about the lovely arrangement and wished no one had sent her flowers. At first, it was rather exciting to think someone might have taken an interest in her, especially at her age. But Esther had no interest in a romantic relationship, and she really did not think her suitor was Harvey, Edgar, or Gus. Her excitement had turned to a sense of dread. The gift made no sense.

  She trekked across the yard toward Naomi and Amos’s house to see Regina and Eve. There was nothing two precious toddlers couldn’t cure, and that included Esther’s foul mood.

  She glanced to her right. Gus was sitting in his chair on the porch with two cats in his lap. He was looking down and didn’t seem to notice her walking across the stretch between the three houses. Esther recalled what Rose had said about his fondness of the animals. If only he could treat humans as well as he treated those cats.

  Chapter 7

  Benjamin reminded himself that he was at the Troyers’ house to worship the Lord, not to worry about how Rose would react to seeing him, assuming she was somewhere in the crowd. The Troyers had a large older home that had panels separating some of the rooms. Even with the panels removed and the expanded space, there were still people standing in the back of both sides of the room. The setup was similar to what it had been in Bedford—women on one side, men on the other side facing the ladies, and the bishop and elders were in the middle. And instead of just wooden benches, more comfortable chairs had also been placed toward the back of the room for older women and those expecting a child.

  When he finally saw Rose, his heart skipped an unexpected beat. She’s so beautiful. Her eyes met briefly with his, but she quickly looked away. Her chin looked a little higher, too, after she saw him. Benjamin couldn’t blame her.

  He spent most of the three-hour service sneaking glances at her and trying to decide if he should apologize about the kisses. Twice he’d caught her looking at him. She was almost dangerous to be around. He worried the temptation to kiss her again would always be there.

  When the service was over, he wound his way through the crowd until he found her. His words felt stuck in his throat, and he prayed he could convey how badly he felt for taking advantage of her. But every time he got close to her, she rushed off in another direction. With every step he took trying to catch up to her, he realized he must have really hurt her feelings. He felt like a jerk.

  He was about to give up trying when he saw her go onto the porch. By the time he caught up to her, she was chatting with two other women. Benjamin took a deep breath and approached the trio.

  “Wie bischt.” He glanced at each woman, his eyes landing back on the prettiest one in the group. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  “Um, ya.” She excused herself and walked alongside him until they were far enough out in the yard to have some privacy.

  She folded her arms across her chest, lifted her chin, and smiled. Benjamin didn’t think it was a real smile.

  “Uh, I think I owe you an apology.” He wanted to get this over with. It was difficult enough being in this large crowd. This situation caused his chest to tighten. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, and—”

  “I shouldn’t have let you. So, no apology necessary.” After another fake smile, she spun on her heels and marched back toward the house.

  Benjamin tried to identify what he was feeling as he watched her storm away. In addition to being a jerk, he also felt . . . regret.

  * * *

  Esther shook her head, then glanced at Lizzie, who was standing beside her near the window. “That didn’t look like it went well,” Esther said, followed by a heavy sigh.

  “I was so sure those two would hit it off.” Lizzie shuffled her teeth around.

  “Quit doing that with your dentures.” Esther rolled her eyes.

  “It helps me think.”

  “Wie bischt, Lizzie.”

  A woman Esther had never met spoke to Esther’s
sister, then introduced herself as Catherine King, Benjamin’s mother.

  After polite greetings were exchanged, Lizzie said, “I thought for sure that your sohn and our Rose would be a good fit.”

  “I met Rose earlier.” Catherine lifted an eyebrow. “You were right. She is absolutely gorgeous.” She paused as she tilted her head to one side. “But you said she was bubbly and talked a lot.”

  Lizzie chuckled lightly. “We lieb that maedel, but that might be an understatement.”

  Catherine frowned. “Benjamin said she barely talked at all, that she only answered in short sentences or one-word answers. He said it was very awkward.”

  Esther and Lizzie exchanged glances. “Perhaps we aren’t talking about the same woman,” Esther said. She had noticed Rose not being quite as talkative lately, but she still exploded with feelings via narrative when she needed to.

  “That’s her, right?” Catherine casually tipped her head in the direction where Rose was talking with Naomi and Evelyn.

  “Ya,” Esther and Lizzie answered at the same time.

  “Hmm, well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out.” Catherine waved to someone across the room. “Please excuse me. Esther, it was nice to meet you.”

  Esther and Lizzie were left with their mouths hanging open after she walked away.

  Once they’d recovered from the shock, Lizzie went to help clean up in the kitchen. Esther glanced around the room, sure that people were staring at her today, and she wondered how many people Sarah Mae had told about her flower inquiry. What must people think about a woman her age receiving flowers from a man? And most likely an English man. Sighing again, she shuffled to the kitchen to do her part.

  * * *

  Rose wondered if she’d done the right thing. Maybe she should have listened to what else Benjamin had to say. She’d left in her own buggy right after the meal. It had been hard to fight tears when she saw Benjamin, and Montgomery wasn’t a big city. She wanted to keep her dignity intact and hoped Benjamin hadn’t told anyone about the kissing. Rose wished she hadn’t told Esther and Lizzie and that she’d downplayed the date. Even though Benjamin had been quiet, she’d been interested in getting to know him. He humiliated her by not bothering to call or visit. It was too late for an apology.

  It’s never too late for an apology, she reminded herself.

  By the time she got home, she’d cried so much that all she wanted to do was lie down.

  * * *

  Esther had convinced Lizzie to let her drive the buggy home from worship service. They left not long after Rose since they were worried about her. And confused.

  “That girl must have forced herself silent, thinking Benjamin wouldn’t want to hear her talking too much,” Esther said as she pulled the buggy into the driveway.

  Lizzie groaned. “Of all the times to choose to be quiet. We’ve got to get those two together again.”

  “I wonder what was said out in the yard. It was a short conversation, and Rose didn’t look happy when she walked away.” Esther pulled back on the reins and brought the horse to a stop.

  “Ach, well, Benjamin did kiss her and then not call or stop by.” Lizzie stepped out of the buggy. “Maybe he asked her out again and Rose’s pride held her back.”

  Pride was to be avoided, but Esther suspected that might be the case. “I think we should talk to her.”

  “I agree.”

  They found Rose in the kitchen when they went inside, and it was obvious she’d been crying. Her cheeks were red and her eyes slightly swollen.

  “We saw you talking to Benjamin.” Lizzie adjusted her teeth. “How did that go?”

  Esther wished her sister would have eased into the conversation, but that wasn’t Lizzie’s way.

  “He apologized for kissing me.” Rose folded her arms across her chest. “I told him it was fine and walked away.”

  Lizzie squinted her eyes as she faced off with Rose, also folding her arms across her chest. “His mother said that you barely said a word during the date. If that’s true, you weren’t being yourself.”

  Rose held her stance. “Ach, apparently being myself hasn’t worked out well.” She paused as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. “I hear you two talking, more than you know.” She glanced at Esther before turning back to Lizzie. “You both think I talk too much. I thought if I was quiet and tried to listen more that Benjamin might like me.”

  Lizzie slapped a hand to her forehead and sighed. “That was one date when you should have been entirely yourself.”

  Esther cleared her throat, hoping to defuse the situation that seemed to be developing. “Rose . . .” Her stomach churned knowing the girl had overheard them probably too many times. “Everyone is different and unique, and—”

  “I’ve heard you, Esther.” Rose’s glare ping-ponged back and forth between Esther and Lizzie. “Both of you. I talk too much. I tend to ramble on about things, even though I don’t really mean to, and there’s a reason for it, I think, but—” She stopped abruptly.

  Esther glanced at Lizzie before turning back to Rose. She couldn’t imagine what could make a person have a tendency to talk a lot, but Rose remained silent.

  “What’s the reason?” Lizzie asked as she leaned back against the counter, her expression softening as she lowered her arms to her sides.

  Rose hung her head and a tear spilled onto the wood floor.

  “It doesn’t matter,” Esther said as she went to Rose and pulled her into a hug. Then she eased the girl away. “Look at me, Rose.” She gently lifted her chin. “You are special because of who you are. God created you exactly the way you were meant to be. He would want you to be yourself in every situation.” She paused to offer a sympathetic smile. “Hon, we lieb you. Surely you know that. But we’re old, so sometimes we can’t keep up with your thoughts as fast as you are able to voice them. However, we’ve been wrong to encourage you to be anyone but who you are. And for that, we’re very sorry.”

  “When I was younger, I thought maybe my relationships didn’t work out because I couldn’t cook. Or, that’s what I told myself. I think I’ve always known that I talk too much.” Rose paused, and when her lip began to tremble, along with the tears streaming down her face, Esther thought her heart might break. “It’s probably too late. I’m twenty-five. Benjamin is probably wondering what’s wrong with me—the reason I’m not married yet. I forced myself to be quiet and politely answer only when spoken to. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to get to know him. I did. But for once, I thought I’d let the man lead the way in a conversation. And”—she shrugged—“I’m doing it again, rambling.”

  Lizzie walked to where Esther and Rose were standing on the other side of the kitchen. She gently eased Esther out of the way and wrapped her arms around Rose. After the hug, Lizzie reached up and wiped away Rose’s tears with her thumbs and smiled. “Hon, Esther is right. You are beautiful inside and out, and just because Esther and I can’t always keep up with you, that doesn’t mean you should change. I think you might have met your future husband. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

  Rose shook her head. “I don’t know how you can say that. He never called or asked me out.”

  “Because he didn’t go out with Rose Petersheim,” Lizzie said. “He just went out with someone who looks like her. And he kissed you because he’s attracted to you. Once he gets to know the real you, he will love you. I’m sure of it.”

  Rose shook her head. “Nee. I’m tired. I’m tired of trying. People have been fixing me up since I was old enough to date.” Rose was seemingly lost in thought as her eyes drifted somewhere past them. “As soon as mei father would allow me to date, that is.”

  “I don’t think you should necessarily give up on Benjamin.” Esther felt it was time to interject, although Lizzie had handled things better than Esther would have thought. “Rose, Benjamin is shy. Very shy, according to his mudder. He was looking forward to going out with someone bubbly and vivacious, like you. A person who would carry the conversation. And you
are both such pretty people.” Esther smiled. “I suppose handsome is the correct word for Benjamin.”

  Rose shrugged. “Then I guess I blew it. I’m going to go lie down if there isn’t anything you need me to do right now.”

  Lizzie stomped one of her bare feet. “Nee, nee, nee. You can’t give up that easy.”

  “Let the child go, Lizzie.” Esther brushed back hair that was matted to the tears on Rose’s face. “You go rest. We can talk later.”

  “I just don’t think there is anything else to say about Benjamin or any other man.”

  Esther and Lizzie watched Rose go upstairs. When they heard her bedroom door close and were sure she was out of earshot, Lizzie said, “There has got to be a way to get those two together.”

  “After seeing each other every week at worship service, maybe they will choose to give it another go.” Esther sat on a kitchen chair and stretched her legs forward. It was her left knee that gave her the most trouble.

  “Shy or not, someone is going to latch on to that handsome Benjamin. I saw the young single ladies eyeing him at worship service. We don’t have time to wait around.” Lizzie rubbed her chin. “He’s a plumber, right?”

  “I believe so.” Esther yawned. It was nearing that time of day.

  Lizzie stomped across the kitchen and pulled the basement door open. She grabbed the flashlight they kept on a hook inside the door. “Be right back.”

  Esther stared at the plate of cookies on the table and forced herself not to reach for one. The apple pie Lizzie made was next to the platter of cookies. She hoped Gus got his fill of pie at the hospital since she wouldn’t be taking him any.

  Lizzie came back up the basement stairs and closed the door with one hand, clutching a wrench in the other.

  “What are you doing?” Esther forced herself to stand up when Lizzie headed for the stairs that led to the second floor. “Lizzie?”

  Her sister turned around and put a finger over her lips, an indication for Esther to be quiet, then Lizzie tiptoed upstairs. Esther didn’t have a good feeling about whatever Lizzie was up to.