His Love Endures Forever Read online

  ACCLAIM FOR BETH WISEMAN

  Need You Now

  “You may think you are familiar with Beth’s wonderful storytelling gift but this is something new! This is a story that will stay with you for a long, long time. It’s a story of hope when life seems hopeless. It’s a story of how God can redeem the seemingly unredeemable. It’s a message the Church, the world needs to hear.”

  — Sheila Walsh, author of God Loves Broken People and Song of the Brokenhearted

  “Beth Wiseman tackles these difficult subjects with courage and grace. She reminds us that true healing can only come by being vulnerable and honest before our God who loves us more than anything.”

  — Deborah Bedford, best-selling author of His Other Wife, A Rose by the Door, and The Penny (coauthored with Joyce Meyer)

  The Land of Canaan Novels

  “Beth Wiseman writes with a masterful hand that reaches the recesses of the soul. Her capability for understanding the human condition exceeds traditional empathy and moves the reader to both introspection and exhilaration. Characters connect, transform, and redeem, making for a must ‘one sit’ read. Wiseman’s comprehension of grace and redemption plays out in the subtle confines of the everyday and teaches the reality that new life is possible for all.”

  — Kelly Long, best-selling author of Sarah’s Garden

  “Wiseman’s voice is consistently compassionate and her words flow smoothly.”

  — Publishers Weekly review of Seek Me With All Your Heart

  “In Seek Me With All Your Heart, Beth Wiseman offers readers a heartwarming story filled with complex characters and deep emotion. I instantly loved Emily, and eagerly turned each page, anxious to learn more about her past—and what future the Lord had in store for her.”

  — Shelley Shepard Gray, best-selling author of the Seasons of Sugarcreek series

  “Wiseman has done it again! Beautifully compelling, Seek Me With All Your Heart is a heartwarming story of faith, family, and renewal. Her characters and descriptions are captivating, bringing the story to life with the turn of every page.”

  — Amy Clipston, best-selling author of A Gift of Grace

  The Daughters of the Promise Novels

  “Well-defined characters and story make for an enjoyable read.”

  — Romantic Times review of Plain Pursuit

  “A touching, heartwarming story. Wiseman does a particularly great job of dealing with shunning, a controversial Amish practice that seems cruel and unnecessary to outsiders . . . If you’re a fan of Amish fiction, don’t miss Plain Pursuit!”

  — Kathleen Fuller, author of The Middlefield Family novels

  His Love

  Endures Forever

  ALSO BY BETH WISEMAN

  Need You Now

  THE DAUGHTERS OF THE PROMISE SERIES

  Plain Perfect

  Plain Pursuit

  Plain Promise

  Plain Paradise

  Plain Proposal

  THE LAND OF CANAAN SERIES

  Seek Me With All Your Heart

  The Wonder of Your Love

  NOVELLAS FOUND IN

  An Amish Christmas

  An Amish Gathering

  An Amish Love

  An Amish Wedding

  His Love

  Endures Forever

  A Land of Canaan Novel

  Beth Wiseman

  © 2012 by Elizabeth Wiseman Mackey

  All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

  Thomas Nelson, Inc., titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets@ ThomasNelson.com.

  Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

  Publisher’s Note: This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. All characters are fictional, and any similarity to people living or dead is purely coincidental.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Wiseman, Beth, 1962–

  His love endures forever : a land of Canaan novel / Beth Wiseman.

  p. cm. — (A land of Canaan novel)

  ISBN 978-1-59554-888-7 (trade paper)

  1. Amish—Fiction. 2. Colorado—Fiction. I. Title.

  PS3623.I83H57 2012

  813'.6—dc23 2012021946

  Printed in the United States of America

  12 13 14 15 16 17 QG 6 5 4 3 2 1

  To CBW

  Contents

  Pennsylvania Dutch Glossary

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty-One

  Twenty-Two

  Twenty-Three

  Twenty-Four

  Reading Group Guide

  Amish Recipes

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Pennsylvania Dutch Glossary

  ab im kopp—crazy or off in the head

  ach—oh

  aentis—aunts

  baremlich—terrible

  boppli—baby

  bruder—brother

  danki—thank you

  daed—dad

  dochder—daughter

  dummkopp—dunce

  dumm—dumb

  Englisch—non-Amish

  Englischers—non-Amish people

  es dutt mir leed—I am sorry

  fraa—wife

  guder mariye—good morning

  gut—good

  hatt—hard

  haus—house

  kaffi—coffee

  kapp—prayer covering or cap

  kinner—children or grandchildren

  kumm—come

  lieb—love

  maedel—girl

  mamm—mom

  mammi—grandmother

  mei—my

  mudder—mother

  narrisch—crazy

  nee—no

  onkel—uncle

  Ordnung—the written and unwritten rules of the Amish; the understood behavior by which the Amish are expected to live, passed down from generation to generation. Most Amish know the rules by heart.

  Pennsylvania Deitsch—Pennsylvania German, the language most commonly used by the Amish

  rumschpringe—running-around period when a teenager turns sixteen years old

  schee—pretty

  sohn—son

  wedder—weather

  wie bischt?—how are you?

  ya—yes

  One

  DANIELLE PERCHED ON THE EDGE OF THE TUB. SHE looked at her watch, then at the pregnancy test in her trembling hand. In two minutes, she’d know if she was going to have a baby.

  She bit her bottom lip as she tapped a foot against the white tile floor, her heart beating faster than normal. Please be a blue minus sign.

  But it was barely a minute later when a positive, pink cross began to appear. She squeezed her eyes closed and tried to will it to blue. Ple
ase, please . . . I can’t be pregnant.

  She’d been seeing Matthew for four months, but they’d only been intimate one time. No one gets pregnant the first time.

  She slowly opened her eyes and swallowed hard at the realization that she and Matthew were going to be parents. After giving it a few minutes to sink in, Danielle tried to focus on the positive. Laying a hand across her stomach, she held her breath and tried to envision the tiny life growing inside of her. It would be a lot to take on since they were both only eighteen, but they were in love. They’d said the words to each other only once, but Danielle was sure he was the right guy for her.

  Matthew’s parents weren’t wild about him dating someone who wasn’t Amish, but Danielle knew that Matthew had no plans to be baptized into the Amish faith. He’d made it clear to Danielle that he was just waiting for the right time to leave. What better time than now?

  She paced the small bathroom, taking deep breaths as she thought about a future with Matthew. It wasn’t the first time she’d fantasized about a life with him, but it was the first time her vision included a baby. She’d just assumed that they would eventually get married and have children, but in that order. The Amish were all about having lots of kids, and Danielle planned to be the best mother on the planet, something her own mother hadn’t been any good at. She was sure Matthew would be a great father. Even though he planned to leave the Old Order district, Danielle knew that he’d had a good upbringing, something he would pass on to his children.

  Looking in the mirror, she pulled her hair to the side and gathered it in a loose braid as she fought the worry that began to creep into her mind. Surely he’d be happy about the baby, even if it hadn’t been planned?

  Only one way to find out.

  LATER THAT AFTERNOON, Danielle shifted her weight on the log where they were sitting by the edge of the creek. It was their special place, the spot where Matthew had kissed her for the first time. As the sun began its descent behind the Sangre de Cristo Mountains, Danielle reached for Matthew’s hand and took a deep breath. A rush of adrenaline shot from her toes to her fingertips, and she briefly wondered if he felt it. Or could he see or hear her heart pounding in her chest?

  As they sat hand in hand, Danielle held her breath as she watched the water. They were beneath the old oak tree as water trickled atop small rocks on the far side of the creek. She watched two cardinals fly by before she finally blew the air from her lungs.

  “Matthew . . .”

  He brought her hand to his lips, kissed her fingers, and smiled. “Ya?”

  She’d practiced how she would tell him about the baby all morning, but as she looked at him, she couldn’t recall any of her preplanned speech. All she could think about was whether their child would have Matthew’s beautiful eyes, shades of amber and green.

  “I’m pregnant.” She swallowed hard but kept her gaze fixed on him.

  His eyes widened as his jaw dropped. After a few moments, he closed his mouth and stared at the ground.

  “I can’t believe it either.” She reached for his hand and squeezed. “But I love you so much. Together, I think we can do this.”

  Matthew eased his hand from hers and stood up. He pulled his straw hat off, rubbed his forehead, then paced along the bank as late-afternoon rays from the sun glistened atop the blue-green water. Danielle kept her seat and pulled her pink sweater snug around her. It was a chilly May afternoon in the shadow of the mountains. She glanced at her watch. Four o’clock. It was going to take Matthew a few minutes to realize what this meant for the future.

  “Matthew?” Danielle stood up and put her hand on his arm. “I know we weren’t expecting all this so soon, and—”

  “So soon?” Matthew took a step backward as a muscle clenched along his jaw. He blinked his eyes a few times beneath cropped brown bangs. “I wasn’t expecting this at all.”

  Danielle fought the wave of dizziness that came on all of a sudden. Surely Matthew just needed a few more minutes to sort out his feelings. She bit her bottom lip as a faint thread of panic formed a lump in her throat.

  He walked closer and hung his head for a moment, fidgeting with his hat in his hands. When he finally looked up at her, Danielle tried to force her confused emotions into order. Please, Matthew . . . don’t say what I think you’re going to.

  “Danielle . . .”

  She reached up and cupped his cheek in her palm. “I know we’re young, but we can be wonderful parents.” She paused, clinging to hope that Matthew would drop to one knee. Or at the very least, she hoped the tense lines across his forehead would relax and some color would return to his face.

  “I don’t want to do this.” He pulled away and stepped back again as fear twisted around Danielle’s heart. “I—I’m not ready for a family. You know that I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell mei mamm and daed that I’m leaving here.”

  Danielle’s mind was a crazy mixture of hope and fear. She swallowed and found her voice. “I know it’s not the perfect situation, but you’ve already said your parents can’t shun you because you aren’t baptized yet, so maybe this is the perfect—”

  “Danielle.” Matthew latched on to her arms with both hands. “You’re not hearing me. I don’t want to get married, and I don’t want a family. I want to go to college. I’ve been telling you that. How I’m going to get a job, then save so I can go to school.”

  “You can still do all those things. I know how much you want to go to college. I want you to have everything you—”

  “Danielle, stop.” Matthew held up both palms and avoided her eyes. “I don’t love you.”

  He might as well have closed his hands around her throat and killed her. She couldn’t control the trembling that began to take over. “But you said you did,” she managed to squeak out after a few moments. “You said you loved me.”

  “Well, at the time, we were . . .” Matthew looked at the ground, shook his head, and kicked the ground with the tip of his shoe. When he looked back up at her, he eyed her with a critical squint—almost as if she’d been the only one in his parents’ barn that day. “I thought Englisch girls used birth control, took pills or something.”

  Danielle’s mouth fell open. “I told you I wasn’t on birth control, and you didn’t seem to care.” She touched her stomach with both hands. “It’s not like I planned this.”

  Matthew started to pace again, shaking his head. “Ach, this is a mess.”

  Danielle’s stomach twisted. She would have never agreed to be with him in such an intimate way if she’d known he didn’t love her. She tried to recall if she’d pushed him into saying the words. She didn’t think so, but did it really matter now anyway? He doesn’t love me. Her own upbringing had been a disaster, and she was determined to be a good mother and to raise her child in a normal home, one filled with love.

  She swallowed back the tears building and imagined telling Martha. If Matthew couldn’t cope with it, how would Martha? The older woman had taken Danielle in a year ago, before they’d been joined by Arnold, Martha’s new husband. She’d been more of a mother to Danielle than she’d ever had, but this news was going to be upsetting to them both.

  Matthew finally stopped pacing and faced her. “Maybe you should give the baby up for adoption?” He looped his thumbs beneath his suspenders and stood taller.

  Danielle’s bottom lip began to tremble. “No. I’m not giving my baby away.” She shook her head as she stuffed her hands in the pockets of her sweater. “No way.”

  Matthew put on his hat, tapped it into place, then stared down at her with eyes that no longer twinkled of amber and green, but instead were stony as jade. “You’re on your own if you do this. I’ve been trying to get out of here forever. There’re a lot of things I want to do.”

  Danielle wanted to cry, beg, tell him that this was a great excuse to leave the community, but she’d heard him loud and clear. He doesn’t just want to leave the community . . . He wants to leave me. She slowly backed away, holding her sweater tigh
tly around her as the tears came.

  “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry, Danielle.” He took two steps toward her. “I—I’m just not ready to be a father. Or a husband.” He raised his eyebrows. “I don’t think I’d be gut at either one. You deserve better than—”

  “Shut up, Matthew! Just shut up!” She ran to where her car was parked several yards away from Matthew’s horse and buggy. As she hurried into the seat, she could hear Matthew yelling something in Pennsylvania Deitsch. She couldn’t understand his dialect.

  Not that she needed to. She’d heard enough.

  LEVI SLOWED HIS horse, Chester, to a stop in front of Sarah’s house. Sarah’s father was sitting in a chair on the front porch, the way he had been the last two times Levi brought Sarah home from a Sunday singing.

  “I think he’s worried you might try to kiss me good night.” Sarah tipped her chin down, grinning.

  Levi was glad it was dark. He could feel the warmth in his cheeks even though his cold breath formed a cloud in front of him. Levi wanted to tell her that didn’t make much sense. He could have kissed her all the way home, not just when he was dropping her off. But he didn’t say anything. He stepped down from the buggy and walked around to Sarah. She eased the heavy brown blanket from around her, then Levi helped her down. She was almost as tall as he was.

  “I had a gut time.” Sarah smiled, her teeth chattering. “Danki for taking me.”

  “Ya, it was fun.”

  Sarah leaned closer, near enough that Levi could have kissed her. “See you next Sunday?”