The Wonder of Your Love (A Land of Canaan Novel) Read online

  She smiled politely, but the damage was done. Then Eli recalled the way the rest of the conversation had gone, and gave a laugh.

  Katie Ann pulled the baby closer to her, cradling him with one arm as she cupped her free hand to her hip. “This is funny?”

  “Ya. It is.” He took a deep breath. “I must have sounded ab im kopp when I said I’d probably have a dozen or so more. Of course I meant grandchildren, not children, and . . .” Eli shrugged, hoping for a smile, but she brought the baby to her shoulder and frowned.

  “I have to go now.”

  She hurried across the living room before Eli could get her to see the humor in the situation, and a moment later she headed up the stairs and drifted out of sight.

  He put his hands on his hips and sighed. He had embarrassed her. He’d just assumed her children were grown, like his, and that maybe she’d be interested in getting to know him better as they both started the second half of their lives. But she was starting the second half of her life with a baby. No way.

  Eli had raised all the kinner he was going to. There was no point in getting to know this woman, however attractive she might be.

  Too bad.

  Katie Ann had intrigued him for sure.

  KATIE ANN FINISHED changing Jonas’s diaper on Vera’s bed atop a small blanket she’d brought with her. She picked up her baby and kissed him on the cheek. “Is that better?”

  She packed her supplies back into the diaper bag, depositing the wet cloth diaper in a plastic bag. Martha thought she was crazy for not using disposable diapers, but she didn’t mind washing the cottony linens for Jonas. They were softer on his behind and caused less chafing.

  She walked to the mirror in Vera’s room and almost gasped. Her eyes were puffy, with dark circles underneath. No wonder the man had thought she was a grandma. She leaned closer to the mirror and took a better look.

  She’d gotten even less sleep the night before than usual. Jonas had cried on and off, and although she’d tried everything to make him happy, nothing had worked. She was thankful that he seemed content so far this morning.

  So much for Martha thinking that perhaps a romance would develop—not that she would have considered such a thing. Even if she weren’t recently widowed and hadn’t lost all trust in men, Eli was a chatty fellow, not at all her type. And was it really necessary for him to get such a chuckle out of their misunderstanding?

  She let out a huff before nuzzling her nose to Jonas’s neck. “We don’t need anyone else, do we?”

  AN HOUR INTO the wedding ceremony, most of the congregation was focused on Katie Ann and her little one, who was wailing at the top of his lungs. Even from across the room, Eli could see her bottom lip trembling as she tried to comfort the child, rocking him back and forth. She’d already left the room twice, and both times when she returned, little Jonas was quiet for about a minute before he started up again. An older Englisch woman sitting next to her—dressed rather brightly in a pink and white dress—had tried to comfort the child as well, but ultimately handed him back to his mother, shaking her head.

  Katie Ann had circles under her puffy eyes, and he sympathized with her. He remembered when Maureen was that age. She’d cried constantly. At first Eli had assumed it was because the poor child didn’t have her mother and that he was failing miserably, but it turned out to be something entirely different. And there had been an easy fix.

  He watched Katie Ann maneuver her way past a row of women, then slip out the back and into the mudroom. Eli tapped his foot as he tried to focus on what the bishop was saying. He glanced at the clock on the wall. It would be at least another hour before Emily and David actually said their wedding vows. And that poor child was still wailing. He shifted his weight, knowing that what he was about to do was irregular for an Amish man. Children were women’s work.

  Unless your spouse died and left you six of them to raise.

  “Excuse me,” he whispered to his nephew Jacob as he stood up and eased by him. He hoped everyone would think he was heading to the bathroom. His black dress shoes clicked against the wooden floor in the Detweilers’ living room, and he was glad when he rounded the corner and the bishop’s voice faded. His heart sank, though, when he saw Katie Ann sitting on a chair in the far corner of the mudroom crying right along with her child. She looked up at him with teary desperation as he walked toward her, but quickly swiped at her eyes.

  “What are you doing back here?” she asked in a loud whisper.

  “I thought I might be able to help.”

  She cut her eyes at him. “I assure you, I’ve tried everything.”

  Eli sighed, unsure what to say. Katie Ann started to cry again.

  “I don’t know what to do.” She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. “He just won’t stop crying.” She shook her head as she continued to rock Jonas. “He did this most of the night too, and I’m so”—she closed her eyes for a moment, then looked down at the screaming child—“tired.”

  Eli squatted down beside her. “May I?” He reached his hands out toward the baby, but Katie Ann stiffened and sat taller.

  “No. I’m sure you won’t be able to help.” She sniffled as she shook her head.

  Eli couldn’t help but notice how pretty she was, even with her eyes swollen from little sleep and tiny lines that feathered from the corner of each eye.

  He kept his arms out as he spoke, easing into a chair beside her. “I’ve raised six children on my own for the past seventeen years. I’ve learned a thing or two.” He raised his brows, and Katie Ann reluctantly handed over the unhappy little fellow.

  “There, there,” Eli whispered, lowering the little one onto his lap, faceup . . . and still screaming. He slipped one hand under the baby’s neck, and with his other hand, he took two fingers and traced them from below Jonas’s breastbone all the way down his tummy, applying a small amount of pressure. When he could feel the top of the child’s diaper beneath his blue onesie, he moved his hand in a circular motion back and forth across the child’s abdomen. In less than a minute, Jonas had stopped crying.

  Eli smiled at Katie Ann, whose jaw hung low.

  “How did you know to do that?” Her eyes held a glint of wonder.

  Eli was surprised at how nice it felt to hold a newborn. He thought about his son’s wife, Laura Jane, who would be delivering next month. It would be nice to have another baby around. On a part-time basis, of course.

  He handed Jonas to his mother, then shrugged. “A little something I learned when my daughter Maureen was that age. She struggled with a gassy tummy too.” He swallowed, recalling the hardship of losing his wife while she was delivering Maureen.

  Katie Ann cuddled her child in her arms, smiling down at the little one. After a few moments, she looked at Eli. Her eyes grew sharp and assessing, and with what seemed like resistance, she thanked him.

  “You’re welcome. Does he get fussy like that a lot?”

  “Ya. He does.”

  Eli stood up and rubbed his hands together. “Rub some baby oil in your hands like this, until it gets warm. Then do what I just did with your palm against the baby’s bare skin.” He grinned. “Works every time.”

  Katie Ann stiffened. “I should have known that, I suppose.” She pressed her lips together as she stood up, and Eli wished he hadn’t boasted.

  “You learn these things with experience.” He smiled again, but she did not. Eli reprimanded himself for being prideful, but there was no denying that experience played a big hand when he’d raised his children, and sometimes he was proud of what he’d accomplished on his own. Jake and Hannah were already six- and five-years-old when Sarah died, but he still had a three-year-old, two-year-old, one-year-old, and baby Maureen to raise.

  “I should get back to the wedding.” She placed the baby up on her shoulder. “Danki again.”

  “You’re welcome.” He wasn’t sure he was winning any points with this woman. No matter, he decided. He waited a minute, then rejoined the service.

  KATIE A
NN DABBED at her eyes when Emily and David took their vows. She couldn’t think of a couple more deserving of such happiness, and she knew that everyone in the room was thinking the same. They might be young, but they had both lived through much. David had nearly died six years earlier, his life saved only through a kidney transplant. And before Emily’s family moved from Middlefield to Canaan last year, Emily had suffered a rape and had to endure the trial of her assailant.

  Katie Ann was glad that they had fallen in love and had each other to lean on. Be good to each other, she said silently.

  Ivan’s faced flashed in her mind’s eye, and memories of their own wedding danced in her head. She never would have imagined that he would run off with another woman, leaving her to raise a baby on her own. A baby he didn’t even know about. She dabbed at another tear before it made its way down her cheek. Again she wondered if she’d been fair to her husband by not telling him she was pregnant. As the bishop blessed the union, Katie Ann wondered if visions of her life with Ivan would ever stop haunting her. She had believed that her marriage was sacred, a union blessed by God. Where had it gone wrong?

  She bowed her head along with the rest of the congregation, but her communion with God was as it had been for the past several months—limited. Something had gone amiss after Ivan left her, and she was struggling to get it back. She missed God. The way it used to be. And no matter what the circumstances of their separation, she missed Ivan.

  “Amen!” Martha said loudly beside her.

  Katie Ann gently elbowed her friend.

  “Don’t nudge me, Katie Ann.” Martha raised her brows. “You know how these long services hurt my back. Thank goodness you people have added some chairs to your worship services. I don’t know who started that whole backless bench thing, but it’s ridiculous.” She pointed a few rows in front of them. “Look at poor Lillian up there on the front row. She’s half my age, but I watched the poor girl rubbing her back on and off throughout the service. I say you should ban all those backless benches.”

  Katie Ann sighed as she and Martha stood up. “Time to serve the bridal party.” She glanced down at Jonas, who was sleeping soundly in his baby carrier.

  “How’d you get him to stop screaming earlier?” Martha now nudged Katie Ann. “I saw the Detweiler fella follow you out of the room. What was that about?”

  “Keep your voice down,” Katie Ann whispered as she picked up the baby carrier. They followed some of the other women toward the kitchen. “As you pointed out, he’s raised six children, so he was helping me with Jonas.”

  “Now that’s a good man, I tell ya.” Martha grinned. “You need to get to know him.”

  “We talked about this. I’m in mourning.” Katie Ann frowned in Martha’s direction. “Besides, the man is a bit . . . prideful.”

  “With his good looks, he’s got plenty to be proud of.” Martha cackled.

  “That is not our way, Martha, and you know it.” Katie Ann moved toward the stairs. “I’m going to go lay Jonas down in Vera’s room.”

  “Did you bring the baby monitor?”

  “Ya. Tell Vera I’ll be back to help serve in just a minute.”

  Martha rubbed her hands together. “Can’t wait to dig into that creamed celery.”

  Katie Ann wound her way around the others in the room and went upstairs. After she had Jonas settled in the playpen in Vera’s room, she quietly made her way back down.

  Martha was busily chatting with Eli in the living room. They both looked up at her, and Katie Ann could tell that Martha was up to no good.

  Three

  MARTHA QUIZZED ELI ABOUT HIS LIFE BACK IN Middlefield, and she listened intently as he told her about his children and grandchildren. He was certainly qualified to take care of little Jonas, so she mentally checked that off her list.

  “And what kind of work did you say you do?” Martha batted her lashes at him. If only she were a little younger, she’d convert and snag this fine Amish man for herself.

  “I worked construction for many years—and farmed, of course. But right now I’m just farming.”

  A hard worker. Good. Katie Ann stayed busy, and like most of her people, she believed in hard work and love of the land. “How long will you be staying in Canaan?”

  “I’m not sure.” He smiled, and Martha decided she was going to slap Katie Ann upside the head if she didn’t latch onto this handsome fellow.

  “I’ve never been here before,” he added. “Since I was raising six children on my own, there was no time for travel. I guess you could say that this is like a vacation for me. Vera and Elam told me to stay as long as I like, but I don’t want to wear out my welcome. And my son, Jake, is tending to my farm. I don’t want to burden him for too long.”

  The wheels in Martha’s head were spinning at full capacity when she saw Katie Ann heading her way. Katie Ann was so suspicious of men now, Martha feared she’d never give this nice man a chance. “Vera needs you, Katie Ann,” she said quickly and waved her away.

  Katie Ann hesitated but then headed toward the kitchen.

  “She’s like my daughter,” Martha said as she raised her chin. “And that little one is like my grandson. I figure he’ll call me Granny when he gets older.” She sighed. “But I won’t always be around to take care of Katie Ann and Jonas. I have my own life to lead, don’tcha know?”

  He nodded, and Martha decided she’d better not travel along that road just yet. She didn’t want the guy to feel pressured. He’d fall in love with Katie Ann on his own, and the rest would come together.

  “I’m making chicken lasagna Saturday night at Katie Ann’s house. You should come for supper.” Martha grinned. “I’m not much of a cook, but Katie Ann has taught me how to whip up a few things, so every Saturday I cook for her. Easier for me to bring supper to her house so she doesn’t have to get the baby out in the weather.”

  “I, uh . . . should you check with Katie Ann first?”

  Has manners too. He’s too good to be true. Martha waved her hand. “Nah, she’ll be fine with it. Seven o’clock?” She raised one palm toward him. “I know your people normally eat at five o’clock, but my stomach isn’t on that schedule.” She lifted one brow and waited.

  “Ya. Seven o’clock then.”

  “Wunderbaar gut!” Martha slapped him on the arm and went to help the ladies in the kitchen.

  ELI WATCHED THE funny Englisch woman walk away, and grinned. Only tourists said wunderbaar gut. The Amish folks poked fun at it.

  Martha was a character, though, and she was certainly playing the matchmaker. But Eli didn’t mind playing along. Katie Ann was sure pretty, and he loved lasagna.

  He stroked his beard as he walked out the door to join some of the men on the porch. He was already looking forward to Saturday night.

  KATIE ANN WRAPPED Jonas in an extra blanket before she eased him out of his car seat in the back of Martha’s car. “I’m glad you wanted to come home early. I’m so tired.”

  “Bundle that little one up good.” Martha looked over her shoulder from the driver’s seat.

  Katie Ann shut the back door, then leaned in the front window on the passenger side. “Danki again for driving. See you tomorrow?”

  “No. I have a doctor’s appointment in town.”

  Katie Ann’s chest tightened. “What for?”

  “Don’t look so worried. Routine tests. But it’s gonna take most of the day, so I won’t see you until Saturday.”

  Katie Ann nodded.

  “I’m bringing lasagna, a nice salad, and garlic bread.”

  Katie Ann grinned. “Ach, that sounds very fancy.”

  “That’s ’cause company is coming.”

  Katie Ann squinted her eyes. “Who might that be?”

  “That nice Eli Detweiler is coming for supper.” Martha held up a crooked finger before Katie Ann could speak. “And don’t you dare be mad. He is a fine man, and it wouldn’t hurt you to get to know him.”

  “Martha! You shouldn’t have done that. You know ho
w I feel about dating. I’m still in mourning.”

  Martha rolled her eyes. “Well, I’ll give you until Saturday night to get done with mourning that scoundrel husband of yours.”

  Katie Ann’s eyes started to tear. She knew that Martha loved her, but she still couldn’t stand it when Martha talked badly about Ivan. Only she could talk badly about him. “I’ve told you before how upsetting it is to me when you talk like that. I loved Ivan, and—”

  “Okay,” Martha said loudly. “I’ll try to do better. Now get that baby out of this cool air.”

  Katie Ann narrowed her brows. “I know what you’re doing, and you should not have invited Eli for supper. I can tell by our short interaction that we are nothing alike. He is . . . I don’t know . . . so . . .”

  “Happy, Katie Ann. That’s the word you’re looking for. The man smiles a lot. Something you should do more of.”

  Martha rolled up the window, and Katie Ann watched her pull away. She pulled Jonas closer to her and walked up the steps to her house. Martha’s wrong. I am happy.

  After she fed the baby and tucked him into his crib, she ran a bath and climbed into the tub. As she sat in the warm water, she leaned her head back and cried. She’d waited to have a baby and a real family her entire life. She only had half the equation. Even though she loved Martha, it wasn’t the same. She missed Ivan with all her heart. Why, Lord, did You take him from me? And why did Lucy Turner have him when You decided to call him home?

  She laid the warm washrag across her face as she thought about what Martha said. I am happy. She was happy about being a mother and thankful that the Lord had blessed her with Jonas. But she wasn’t fulfilled. And it was no mystery to her as to why. Her relationship with the Lord had changed since Ivan’s death. She just couldn’t understand why everything had to happen the way it did, and through no rhyme or reason could she understand what God’s plan for her might be. She’d been taught her entire life not to question the Lord’s will, and the more she did so . . . the further away she felt from Him.