An Amish Year Read online

  Miriam finally lifted her eyes to his and took a deep breath. “I must go.” She stood up abruptly and smoothed the wrinkles from her black apron. “Do you mind if I go upstairs and say good-bye to Grace?”

  Eli stood up, too, and as he looked at Miriam, he had a strong urge to hug her, so he did. It took her several seconds before she embraced him as well, and when she tried to pull away, Eli gave her a final squeeze and whispered, “Danki again.”

  Miriam hurried up the stairs after Eli told her which room was Gracie’s. And once she was up there, Eli tiptoed up the stairs. He wanted to believe that Miriam’s intentions were all good, but he’d been so wrong lately—about Ruth . . . and Wayne. He listened outside Grace’s door, feeling guilty, but not enough to walk away. This was his daughter, one of the two greatest gifts the Lord had blessed him with, and he’d do whatever it took to keep her safe.

  Miriam and Gracie spoke softly to each other, but Eli could hear every word.

  Miriam tried to choose her words carefully. She and Grace had talked for a while before Miriam had carted her home, but she wanted to make sure Grace was going to be okay. Miriam understood teenage heartbreak, and at Grace’s age, it could seem like the end of the world.

  “You are strong and did the right thing, Grace,” Miriam said. “And don’t be mad, but I talked to your father about this.”

  Grace hung her head. “How mad is he?”

  Miriam cupped her chin and smiled. “He isn’t mad at you, but I do think he might have a little talk with Wayne.”

  Grace swiped at her eyes. “I really liked him. And I’ve never had anyone that cute want to be my boyfriend.”

  “You are a beautiful maedel, Grace. The right boy, one who truly loves you, won’t pressure you to do things you aren’t comfortable with, things that should be saved until marriage. You are special, and you must always remember that.”

  Grace stared at her long and hard. “You are special, too, and you deserve to be happy.”

  Now it was Miriam who feared she might cry again. Maybe she’d said too much to Grace while they were still at Miriam’s house. She knew she’d said too much to Eli just now, and she was wondering why that was. Something about Eli made her feel safe, and she was growing fond of Grace. But now she was embarrassed to even face Eli, fearful he’d read between the lines.

  “Danki for saying that,” Miriam said as she reached for Grace’s hand and held it for a few moments before she stood up. “I should go. I just wanted to make sure you would be okay.” She turned to leave, feeling the need to go home, curl up with Kiki, and have a good cry. Landon and Mary Beth weren’t of much interest to her at the moment.

  “Miriam?”

  With her hand on the doorknob, she turned to face Grace. “Ya?”

  “Everything is going to be okay.”

  Miriam forced a smile. “Ya, mei maedel. You will be just fine.”

  Grace stood up and walked to her. “Nee, that’s not what I meant. What I meant was . . .” She smiled. “You will be just fine.” Grace wrapped her arms around Miriam and hugged her as genuinely as Eli had downstairs.

  This is a gut family, she thought as she went back downstairs. Eli was standing in the middle of the room, and Miriam needed to leave before she burst into tears, the events of the day catching up with her. But she couldn’t stand the question dancing around in her mind.

  “How did things go with Ruth? Grace told me she was cooking for you and Ben. I hope things went well.” Miriam cringed, knowing that wasn’t entirely true. She’d never deny Eli and his family happiness, but she wasn’t sure Ruth was the right person for them.

  Eli walked up to her, standing entirely too close, and softly said, “It’s not going to work out for me and Ruth.”

  Miriam avoided his eyes. “Ach, I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe Elizabeth?”

  “Nee,” Eli said softly. “Not her either.”

  Miriam rushed around him, mumbling about how she had to get home. She didn’t stop when he called her name.

  A week later, Grace walked into Ben’s room. “Are you ready?”

  Ben rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face let Grace know he was happy. “Ya, ya. You’ve asked me that three times. I’m coming.”

  “Okay. Be downstairs in five minutes.” Grace ran down the stairs, excited and nervous about what she was about to do. She’d prayed hard about her decision, and she was glad Ben was excited too.

  Grace scribbled out a note to her father, turned the oven off, and picked up Ben’s gloves from the kitchen counter, as he was sure to forget them . . . again.

  “Ready?” she yelled upstairs.

  “Ya. But it’s cold outside,” he said as he hit the landing. Grace handed him his gloves.

  “It’s not that cold outside yet, and next week is the harvest, so you’d best get used to the cold.”

  They both bundled up, then moved to the porch when the blue van pulled up. Grace knew her father would be upset if she and Ben ventured out on foot this time of day, with darkness almost upon them.

  “Come on,” she said, almost pulling Ben along. “We’ve got to go before Daed gets home.”

  Eli had spent the first part of his day readying up the plows for the fall harvest, greasing the parts and going through a safety checklist since his two most prized possessions would be helping him next week. Then he’d given the mules an extra helping of feed and reminded them that hard work and nurture of the land was a God-given blessing, and he prayed over the horses. Talking to his animals wasn’t something Eli would want a living soul to see, but it was a common practice for him.

  Earlier in the afternoon, he’d visited the bishop, a courtesy he’d been meaning to get around to in an attempt to get to know the man better. And now it was time to visit Wayne. As he pulled up to the boy’s house, he quickly asked God to give him the right words and help him control the urge to sling the lad onto the ground. Wayne swaggered toward Eli’s buggy as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

  “Wie bischt, Eli.” Wayne looped his hands beneath his suspenders. “What brings you this way?”

  Eli took in a deep breath as he stepped out of his buggy and reached for the reins, not planning to tether his horse or stay longer than he had to.

  “I need to speak to you about my daughter.”

  Wayne stood taller as he pulled his hands from his suspenders and folded his arms across his chest, but he didn’t say anything.

  Eli stared at him for a few moments, then forced himself to shake the images from his mind that were probably far worse than what had actually happened. Just the same, he moved closer to Wayne. Close enough to be able to take a swing at the boy and knock him to the ground. He inhaled another deep breath but kept his gaze fixed on Wayne’s eyes. Eli wanted to see fear in the boy’s eyes when he was done speaking.

  “My Gracie, and every maedel is this community, deserves to be treated with respect.” Eli spoke in a whisper, but he could feel himself trembling. “We can have a long conversation about what this means, or you can take me at my word when I say that I will be watching you. And if I hear of you behaving inappropriately with any of these girls, I won’t be coming back here to talk.”

  The knot in Eli’s throat pulsed. He’d never hit anyone, but if Wayne didn’t heed his warning, he might be tempted to do something he didn’t believe in. He clenched his teeth and watched Wayne’s eyes for any sign of fear, but the boy didn’t flinch, still remaining quiet.

  Eli took a small step closer to the boy, close enough to poke Wayne’s chest. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  Wayne stumbled backward, blinking his eyes a few times. “Ya, ya,” he said, his eyes w
idening.

  Eli stared at him, wondering if what he’d said would make a bit of difference, and not feeling proud of himself for resorting to physical intimidation, even if it was just his finger. He’d ask God for forgiveness later, but for now, he wanted Wayne to understand that Eli meant business. When he saw a hint of fear in Wayne’s eyes, Eli left.

  It was almost dark when he pulled into his driveway, and he was surprised to see another buggy parked out front. And Miriam sitting on the porch.

  “I’m a little early,” Miriam said when Eli walked up the steps. She stood up. “I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. But Grace said it was urgent.”

  Eli’s stomach flipped as he threw open the door and rushed inside. He picked up a note on the kitchen table as Miriam followed him in. “Is everything okay?” she asked.

  Eli read the note, eyed the table set for two, and inhaled a heavenly aroma of what smelled like pork roast. Smiling, he handed the note to Miriam and looked over her shoulder, rereading what Grace had written.

  Dear Daed,

  Me and Ben went to Naomi’s haus. She and I went shopping at the market this week, and I think we are becoming friends. She has a younger bruder Ben’s age. I knew you wouldn’t want us to walk, so we took our money and hired a driver Naomi’s mamm said was a nice Englisch lady. Don’t be mad. We love you and want you to be happy. Miriam might be mad, but tell her not to be mad either.

  Supper is keeping warm in the oven. There is a salad in the refrigerator and a pecan pie on the counter.

  Love,

  Gracie and Ben

  Eli walked to the oven and eased the door open, realizing he’d been wrong about the roast. He slowly closed the oven and took his time turning around, but when he saw Miriam smiling, he said, “How do you feel about meat loaf?”

  “I love meat loaf,” she said, still grinning.

  Eli pulled out a chair for her, and after she sat down, he lit the two candles that his daughter had put in the middle of the table, then he lit the two lanterns on the counter, knowing it would be dark soon. He put the salad on the table, then the meat loaf, potatoes, and carrots that had been keeping warm in the oven. Sitting down, he was having trouble keeping the smile from his face. “I’m not mad at all,” he said as he glanced at Miriam, encouraged by the fact that she was still smiling.

  “I’m not mad either,” she said.

  They both bowed their head in silent prayer, and afterward, Eli stared at the woman across from him, the flicker from the candles creating a glow on her face that Eli had always seen. But it seemed to him that maybe for the first time, Miriam was seeing for herself the life she was meant to live.

  The life Eli had seen the first time he’d laid eyes on her.

  Epilogue

  MIRIAM HAD SETTLED INTO HER NEW LIFE ALMOST EFFORTLESSLY, and there was no reason to regret that she’d waited until she was twenty-eight years old to do so. If anything had happened differently, she might not be exactly where the Lord had always intended for her to be.

  She’d moved into Eli’s house after they were married the following fall. Forgiving herself for past choices hadn’t come easily, but over time, she realized that harboring such ill will toward herself was just as much a sin as the inability to forgive others. She had Eli to thank for that. And God. Eli led by example. He was a loving man who forgave easily—most of the time. But when he’d said he was having trouble forgiving Wayne for hurting Grace, Miriam found herself explaining all the reasons God wants us to be forgiving. When she was done, Eli kissed her on the cheek and lovingly told her to follow her own advice. From that moment on, Miriam began to shed the sins of her past and started to let go of burdens that weren’t hers to carry, discovering that God was ready and willing to take over the job.

  Grace hadn’t shied away from boys completely. She still attended the Sunday singings, but Miriam was glad to see her focusing more on new friendships with some of the kinder girls in the community. And Ben had his first crush on a girl. Grace teased him unmercifully at times, but Miriam suspected that when the time came, Grace would be his coach on how to treat the young ladies.

  Eli was everything Miriam had always dreamed of. Kind, gentle, forgiving, a wonderful parent, and Miriam’s inability to cook a decent meal didn’t bother him. He’d tenderly told her not long into their courtship that he didn’t think he could eat noodles and cheese from a box. Luckily, Eli loved to cook.

  Miriam hadn’t heard about any problems with Wayne, and although no one spoke of it, Miriam assumed that had something to do with the visit Eli had paid Wayne not long after the incident with Grace.

  Miriam was motivated to keep their home tidy, and with Grace’s guidance, she’d become a pretty good housekeeper. But her most important role, aside from being a good wife to Eli, was mothering Ben. He was at a touchy age where he wanted to be grown up but in many ways was still a boy.

  Today was a special day. Eli had added a room onto the back of the house not long after they’d married, a sewing room much larger than Miriam had at her home, and she’d asked Grace to meet her here this afternoon to see a quilt that Miriam hadn’t shown anyone yet.

  “Are you ready?” she asked when Grace came into the room.

  “I’ve been ready.” Grace folded her hands in front of her, smiling. “Do I need to close my eyes?”

  Miriam watched as Grace closed her eyes, even though Miriam didn’t tell her to. She marveled at the beautiful woman Grace was becoming, both inside and out.

  “You can open your eyes,” she said once the quilt was spread on the table. “What do you think?”

  Grace ran her hand gingerly across the colorful squares and tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. She looked at Miriam. “It’s you.”

  Miriam nodded. “And look.” She began pointing to all the squares, explaining what each one meant. The day she fell in love with Grace’s father was represented by a red heart. There was a piece of her wedding dress, along with many other symbolic squares, some from her life before she found her family, but mostly ones she’d added over the past year. Recently, she’d added a square with an orange cat. Her sweet Kiki had passed not long after she’d married Eli; curiously, no one ever understood why Eli wasn’t allergic to the cat, the way he’d always been of other felines. And Miriam had also quilted in a square with a baseball mitt. She’d given up playing on Saturdays, even though Eli had encouraged her to continue. But her happiest times were now at home with her family.

  As Grace studied the quilt, Miriam peeked her head out the door and called for Eli and Ben to join them. Eli was grinning ear to ear. Ben was yawning, probably thinking this was girls’ stuff. And as Miriam had hoped, Grace found the one square that was going to make her quilt patchwork perfect.

  “What’s this one?” Grace asked, pointing to a yellow square with a rattle.

  Eli put his arm around Miriam. “What do you think it is?”

  Grace tapped a finger to her chin as Ben walked to Grace’s side, then his face lit up. “A baby!”

  “Ya.” Miriam couldn’t imagine a better moment in life than when Grace and Ben ran into her and Eli’s arms. But deep down, she knew there was a lifetime of happiness waiting for all of them. She touched her stomach, acknowledging the tiny life growing inside her, feeling overwhelmed by the love and gratitude she felt for her new family. And for God’s love and divine providence.

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  1. When Eli was introduced to Elizabeth and Ruth in the beginning of the story, whom did you hope he would choose? Did you like one woman better than the other? Were you relieved when Miriam came into Eli’s life? Did you root for her?

  2. Miriam doesn’t cook, clean, or have a garden. She�
�s an untraditional Amish woman who isn’t interested in marriage, so she doesn’t hone in on those skills to attract a husband. But later in the story, we find out that Miriam can’t forgive herself for a choice she made when she was young. Do you think that her inability to get past that is part of the reason Miriam lives the way she does? Do you think she was depressed?

  3. From the beginning, Wayne is pushing Grace beyond her comfort zone when it comes to affection. Did you feel like Wayne only wanted Grace for his own reasons, or did you think he really liked her and was just being a boy? As you think about this, remember the kindness that he showed to Ben in the barn.

  4. Amos tells Eli that Miriam is their “resident old maid” at the age of twenty-eight. While this might sound harsh, it is common for Amish folks to get married at a young age. Do you think Eli and Miriam will be happier because they are both older when they got married?

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  THIS WAS A FUN STORY TO WRITE, AND I HAPPILY DEDICATE this novella to Kiki and Katie—my precious kitties who were with me for seventeen years. I miss you girls.

  My heartfelt thanks to my family and friends, and also to my amazing team at HarperCollins Christian Publishing. And Natasha Kern, I appreciate you as my agent, but even more so as my friend.

  God’s blessed me abundantly with stories to tell, and I am grateful for the opportunity to serve Him.

  WHEN CHRISTMAS COMES AGAIN

  DEDICATION

  To Karla Hanns and Joan Main

  PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH GLOSSARY

  ab im kopp—off in the head; crazy

  ach—oh

  bruder—brother