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  Daniel had his money on Aunt Faye, so his heart raced when he saw their father step out of the car.

  Annie gasped when she joined Daniel at the window. “I think this would be a gut time to go bathe Gracie.”

  “Nee, nee. Don’t go yet. See if Daed even looks at the baby. Maybe he will feel different about things once he’s in his own surroundings.”

  “That can come in time, Daniel. It’s a big enough step for Daed to be home, even if it’s just for one night.”

  Their father slowed his step when he got to the porch, and for a second Daniel thought he might race back to the van. But Daed latched on to the handrail and swung his right leg up on the step, then his left, catering to his bad knee. He pushed the door open, and Daniel didn’t think he’d seen a more pitiful sight: an untamed beard, salt-and-pepper hair that was much too long, pale sunken cheeks, dark circles underneath tired eyes, and the same wrinkled clothes he’d had on earlier in the day. He looks broken.

  “Can I prepare you a meal, Daed?” Annie held her position with the baby across the living room, and Daniel was glad. Pushing Grace on their father might not fare well right now after all. “Or maybe some kaffi?”

  “Nee, but danki.” Daed shuffled across the floor, his shoulders slumped as if he carried the weight of the world on him. He didn’t even look at Annie. Or the baby.

  Daniel held his position near Annie, but he glanced at Grace, now sleeping soundly. How could a man not want to see his own child? But he decided to heed Annie’s advice and not say anything about the baby. “Daed, how long will Aenti Faye be at the hospital?”

  Their father stopped in the middle of the room, ran his hand through his beard, and locked eyes with Daniel. “Three days.” He spoke with a calm, almost eerie voice that Daniel might not have recognized if he didn’t see the man standing right in front of him.

  Daniel looked at the baby again, then back at his father. “Okay. Gut to have you home for a few days.” He forced a smile.

  “You know . . .” Daed ran his hand the length of his beard again. “I think your mamm moved her foot today.”

  “Really?” Annie’s face lit up, but Daniel had read that such an action could just be a reflex.

  Their father nodded. “Soon, she will be back to us.” He started to limp toward his bedroom.

  “Daed!” Annie scurried toward him.

  Don’t do it, Annie. Daniel braced himself.

  “Don’t you want to see Grace? Maybe hold her?” Annie offered the baby, swaddled in a white blanket, to their father, as if she were holding a bag of flour out to him.

  Daniel rubbed his chin as he held his breath. His eyes widened when their father stepped closer to Annie, and a fury flamed in his eyes that caused Daniel to take an instinctive step in their direction.

  Daed’s bottom lip trembled as he stared at the child, and just when Daniel feared the older man was going to knock the baby from Annie’s arms, or something even worse, their father’s eyes filled with tears before he vanished into his bedroom.

  Annie eased Grace back to her chest, holding her tightly, as her eyes began to water. “What are we going to do, Daniel?” She shifted her gaze to the baby, kissing her repeatedly on the face.

  “I don’t know.” He gently took Grace from Annie, comforted by the baby’s powdery smell, easy breaths, and simplicity of a life so young.

  Following a rough week at work, Charlotte was looking forward to spending some time with Lena on this beautiful Saturday morning. It was a nippy forty-three degrees when she pulled Big Red out of the driveway.

  Andrea had been busy making earrings. Dianda from work had gifted Andrea with more beads and accessories left over from her own attempts at making jewelry awhile back. Charlotte offered to take Bella with her to see Amos and Lena, and Andrea had happily agreed. Seeing the changes in Andrea had been like watching a caterpillar blossom into a butterfly. Charlotte wished Ethan were around to witness the transformation of the sister he’d never known.

  Amos answered the door, holding Buddy, and a few minutes later, Charlotte was sitting at the kitchen table with Bella in her lap. Lena came into the room in a wheelchair. It was unsettling to see her this way, but Charlotte had already heard that Lena was becoming less and less mobile. Her normally rosy cheeks were void of color, strands of gray hair had escaped the confines of the brown scarf on her head, and her hands were trembling.

  “I don’t feel as bad as I look,” Lena said in a soft voice, lacking the jolly tone that was part of her nature.

  “You don’t look that bad.” It was a small lie, something Charlotte had sworn off long ago, but she didn’t have the heart to agree with Lena. Forgive me, Lord.

  “Hello, Bella.” Lena pointed to a tray in the middle of the table. “Can she have a cookie?”

  Charlotte nodded as she took a cookie and handed it to Bella, kissing her on the cheek before she looked back at Lena. “This sweet girl is a cookie monster. She loves cookies, all kinds.”

  “You’re a natural with kinner.” Lena smiled. “But I’m not surprised.”

  Charlotte bit her bottom lip as she stroked Bella’s hair. “I—I don’t really think I’d be a gut mother. I mean, look at my history.”

  Lena stared at Charlotte for a few seconds. “Your history doesn’t have to dictate whether or not you’re capable of being a gut mother. If anything, your upbringing has shown you the things that can go wrong in a family. You’ll work hard to bring your kinner up the right way, with love, compassion, and nurturing care. All qualities that come easily to you.” Lena’s eyes brightened. “I’m not supposed to tell, but I can’t stand it. I need to tell someone . . .” She took a deep breath. “Hannah is pregnant.”

  Charlotte stifled a squeal. “That is wonderful!” Bella jumped when Charlotte’s voice rose in volume. “Now, there is someone who will be a gut mother.”

  “Ya, she will be.” Lena squinted, studying Charlotte. “You don’t even realize that you have adopted some of our dialect. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard you pronounce gut in Deitsch. When are you going to marry Daniel and let God bless your relationship with lots of kinner? I know you were taking the baptismal classes after church awhile back. Are you still doing that?”

  “I took the required amount right after I moved here, even though I was undecided about what I was going to do.”

  Lena winked at Charlotte, a bit of the joyous Lena visible for a few brief seconds. “Daniel is a wonderful man.”

  “He is.” Charlotte reached for one of the cookies and avoided Lena’s gaze, not wanting to say anything to upset her. But Charlotte still remained unsure about a lifelong commitment to Daniel, and to the Amish life. “I would have to be baptized before we could take our relationship to the next step.”

  Lena tucked a few strands of hair underneath her scarf, slowly, as if buying time to think. “Do you want to convert, Charlotte? We think of you as one of us, but the bishop is not going to let this go on forever.”

  “I know. He said something to Daniel a month or so ago, but it was right when Andrea had found me, right after my mother’s funeral, so I think the bishop agreed to give us some time.”

  “Bishop Miller is a gut man too. Young, but fair. Talk to him if you have qualms about baptism that you aren’t comfortable sharing with Daniel or me.”

  “I share everything with you, Lena. I’m just . . . scared.”

  “Scared of what?”

  Charlotte looked past Lena out the window and into a yard that was losing its luster in preparation for winter. “Failure,” she said in a whisper.

  “We all fail, dear. But with baptism, you get a clean slate, and Jesus already paid for our sins, so His arms are wide open to lift us when we fall, to set us on the right path again. Not trying to live the way the Lord intended us to, now that’s failure.”

  Charlotte let Lena’s words soak in. She nodded, then kissed Bella on the cheek. Her niece smiled, part of the cookie still in her mouth. “This little angel has certainly been
a welcome surprise.”

  “God wants to give you joy. Let Him.” Lena smiled.

  Charlotte wondered if Lena would live long enough to meet Hannah’s child—her grandchild—or would Hannah’s baby never know this amazing woman? As she turned the thought over in her mind, she also mulled over her own situation, wondering if Lena was right, if Charlotte could be a good mother. Charlotte had certainly preached to Andrea about them both not being products of their childhoods. If it rang true for Andrea, then maybe it should for Charlotte too.

  “I have a date tonight with Daniel. He made a really big deal about it. I’m picking him up in my truck, and he’s taking me to a fancy Italian place in Lancaster City, and I’m just wondering if—”

  Lena brought her palms together and clapped lightly. “You think he’s going to propose!”

  Charlotte felt her cheeks flush as she lifted one shoulder and dropped it. “Maybe.”

  “And . . . ?”

  Giggling, Bella clapped her hands together, mimicking Lena, even though she didn’t know what they were talking about, but it made Charlotte smile. Then she stared at Lena. How long would her mother here on earth be with them? “And . . . maybe.”

  That’s the best Charlotte could do right now.

  Daniel had just finished bathing when his cell phone rang in his bedroom. After rushing down the hall in a towel, he slid into his bedroom and answered it.

  “Daniel Byler?”

  “Ya.” His heart sunk. The last time the hospital had called, it was to tell them that his mother was in a coma. “What is it?”

  “It’s about”—the woman paused—“it’s about your aunt.”

  “Aenti Faye? What about her?”

  “She is singing. Actually, it’s more like yodeling. We’ve asked her repeatedly to quiet down, but she tells us her tactics are necessary to wake up Mrs. Byler.” The woman huffed in exasperation. “Mr. Byler, we have rules in the hospital, especially in a wing where patients are critically ill.” She sighed. “And something doesn’t smell right in that room. I’m not going to say that your father didn’t need to go home to do a little grooming, but there is a rank smell in there, like mothballs and something pickled.”

  Daniel put a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing.

  “And that’s not all. In addition to your aunt’s yodeling and unusual smells, she has the television loud enough for people down the hall to hear it. That is, when she’s not singing or yodeling, of course.”

  Daniel chuckled. “Sorry. I know Aenti Faye is, um . . . what’s the word?”

  “I think eccentric might be the word you’re looking for, but we need her to leave or to adhere to hospital policy. We tried to call your father, but there isn’t an answer.”

  “He’s resting, I think, but I’ll talk to Aenti Faye tomorrow.”

  The nurse thanked him before they hung up, then Daniel hurried to get into his clothes, which Annie had ironed for him. Bless his sister. She had a full plate, especially without Aunt Faye at home. Daniel smiled as he pictured his aunt yodeling in the hospital. No one he knew yodeled, but he’d heard it told that in some Amish districts, yodeling was a fun pastime still practiced by the elders. Maybe in Aunt Faye’s Amish days, they’d yodeled. Who knew with her, though.

  “Who was on the phone?” Annie peeked her head into his room. “Was it the hospital?”

  “Ya, but everything is okay.” Daniel chuckled. “I guess. There seems to be a problem with the way Aunt Faye smells and she’s yodeling in Mamm’s hospital room.”

  “Aw.” Annie grinned, but her eyes got moist. “She’s trying to wake up Mamm. I wonder if Mamm can hear her.”

  Daniel had read as much as he could about comas. “Sometimes, I think people like Mamm hear a little, but I don’t really think the thought stays with them.”

  “Ach, if anyone can stir up Mamm’s thoughts or wake her up, it’s Aenti Faye.” Annie left, smiling.

  Daniel prayed for his mother to wake up, the way he did a dozen times a day. Then he grabbed his hat and headed downstairs to watch for Charlotte to arrive. He wanted to make this a great evening for her.

  Seventeen

  Charlotte sat across the table from Daniel, a white linen atop the small square table, with a tea light flickering between them. In the dimly lit room, soft music played seductively in the background as the aroma of sun-roasted tomatoes teased her palate for the meal that was to come.

  Daniel had never looked more handsome. His dark hair was freshly cut, his bangs high above his eyebrows, a look Charlotte had grown to love. His gray eyes sung to hers in the ambience of the quiet restaurant. Tonight was the night.

  “You look beautiful,” he said as he gazed into her eyes.

  Charlotte had chosen black slacks, a dark blue blouse, and her black furry coat. Simple yet elegant, she hoped. She’d curled her wet hair with foam curlers earlier in the day, letting it dry into a slight wave that fell almost to her waist. She’d left her house feeling good about Andrea and Bella. They’d all been sleeping in Charlotte’s bed each night, Bella in the middle of the two women. When Charlotte left, they were both tucked in, even though it wasn’t dark yet. Bella’s eyelids had been heavy, and Andrea had been working on a necklace she was making.

  “Thank you,” she said to Daniel. “You clean up well yourself.” Smiling, she’d been thinking about this night since she’d left Lena. Seeing Lena in the wheelchair had left Charlotte with the realization that life was short. Being around Bella had made her feel like she could truly be a good mother. She was ready. When Daniel asked her to marry him, she was going to say yes.

  “I know you like Italian food. I’ve only been here once before, a long time ago. But it was really gut.” Daniel glanced around the room before he looked back at Charlotte.

  She wasn’t exactly clear about Amish protocol when proposing, but she suspected that Daniel would meet her somewhere in the middle, a proposal that was both Amish and Englisch in nature. Would he drop to one knee, which would surely draw attention to himself?

  It didn’t matter. Charlotte loved him, and the Plain People were her family. She couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Buttered bread for life. Only thing was, she would have to give up Big Red and driving. But learning to maneuver a horse and buggy could be exciting.

  She was still concerned about failure, but something Lena had said resonated with Charlotte in a big way. “Not trying to live the way the Lord intended us to, now that’s failure.”

  They fell into an easy conversation about Andrea and Bella, and then Daniel told Charlotte about his Aunt Faye’s yodeling at the hospital. As they both laughed, ordered, and enjoyed each other’s company, Charlotte waited. And waited. And before she knew it, they’d finished off a three-course meal and Daniel was paying the bill.

  Maybe he was going to wait until she dropped him off at his house to propose? It seemed like he would have asked her to marry him at the restaurant.

  It was a quiet ride home with occasional chatter about their jobs. Daniel commented on how great the food was, and he told Charlotte again how beautiful she looked. At his house, Daniel leaned over to her and kissed her in a way that made Charlotte long to be his wife, then he said good night and she thanked him again for dinner—or supper—as the Amish called the last meal of the day.

  Charlotte had been the one calling the shots in the relationship for so long that despair fell over her all of a sudden. She’d made up her mind that she wanted a life with Daniel, and not only did he not propose, but he didn’t mention anything about marriage or even hint at a future together.

  Andrea was standing on the other side of the front door when Charlotte got home and entered the living room.

  “Well, did he propose? Was there a ring? Did you set a date?” Andrea grinned, clapping her hands softly.

  “No. He didn’t.”

  Andrea’s expression fell as she lowered her arms to her sides. “Um. Okay. How was the food?”

  Charlotte gave her sister a thin-lipp
ed smile. “Great. The food was great.”

  Annie closed the door behind Daniel Sunday morning, wishing him well at the hospital. Normally, Sunday was reserved for relaxation and devotions, even on Sundays when there wasn’t a worship service, but Annie didn’t think the hospital staff cared much about that. They just wanted Aunt Faye to stop the racket, and they’d called Daniel’s phone again early this morning.

  Today was a scheduled church service, but both Annie and Daniel had chosen not to attend. He needed to handle Aunt Faye, and Annie couldn’t drive the buggy and keep Grace warm during the commute, and it didn’t appear their father had plans to go anywhere.

  “Aenti Faye is just trying to wake up your mamm,” Annie whispered to Grace as she held the baby close, feeding her a bottle of formula. She smiled thinking about Aunt Faye going to such extreme measures.

  Annie and Daniel had eaten breakfast before Daniel left, but their father hadn’t come out of the bedroom yet. Would their lives ever be normal again? If her mother never woke up, she feared that they would feel the void forever. And Annie worried that her father wouldn’t survive the grief.

  Shouldn’t Daed be comforting his kinner at a time like this, or does role reversal begin when a person reaches adulthood? Annie wasn’t sure. She still felt like a kid most days, not the eighteen-year-old woman she’d become.

  She held Gracie close, then prayed for all of them.

  Daniel stopped at the nurse’s station on the wing where his mother’s room was.

  “Thank goodness you’re here,” the nurse named Wanda said as she stood between two other women. “That woman is driving us crazy, and every time we ask her to be quiet, she threatens to use a baseball bat on us.” Wanda threw up her hands. “We haven’t seen a baseball bat, but who knows? If you hadn’t shown up, we were going to have security escort her out.” She shook her head. “We’d hate to do that, considering the state your mother is in and the grief you must be feeling, but we have to think about the needs of our other patients too.”