A Season of Change Read online

  “It will all get eaten. We can always take some of it to Gus.” Esther paused. “I called to check on him this morning. They said he did well with his chemotherapy treatment, which normally doesn’t require this long of a hospital stay—or a stay in the hospital at all—but they had trouble regulating his blood pressure. He was also there because they were waiting on blood to arrive for a transfusion. I never realized there was such a shortage.” Frowning, she said, “Maybe I should have visited him this morning, but it would have worn me out, physically and emotionally, and I want to be strong for our get-together. Anyway, he is scheduled to come home tomorrow as long as they are able to stabilize his blood pressure.”

  “Ach, that’s gut that he doesn’t have to stay in the hospital much longer.” Rose had no idea how long a person could live with leukemia, especially if it was an advanced stage.

  They heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Rose folded her hands in front of her and tried not to fidget.

  “Wow. All of this for me?” Lloyd’s eyes widened as he sauntered closer to the table. After he eyed the food, he looked Rose up and down and grinned. There was something suggestive in everything he did and said.

  Esther cleared her throat. “You said you were here for a funeral? May I ask the name of your late aunt?”

  Rose wanted to ask him why he was staying a whole week, but she waited for him to answer Esther’s question.

  “Mary Grace Troyer.” Lloyd picked up a small plate and began filling it with chips, dips, pickles, and olives.

  Esther tapped a finger to her chin. “Hmm . . . I don’t believe I know her. Again, so sorry for your loss.”

  “Danki.” He glanced at Rose again, but she looked away. Even if she hadn’t met Benjamin, she could already tell that Lloyd wasn’t someone she’d be interested in, no matter how nice looking he was. He had beady, dark eyes, and it felt like he was undressing her every time he looked at her. His presence gave her chills, even though it was surely seventy-five degrees in the house.

  She folded her arms across her chest and stood taller. “Why are you staying for a week if you are only here to attend a funeral? It seems like you would be anxious to get home after something like this.” She paused, opting to adjust the curtness in her voice. “I, too, am sorry for your loss.”

  “I, uh . . . needed some time away, so I thought I’d represent our family at the funeral and consider it a mini vacation too.” His dark eyebrows arched above his black button-like eyes as one corner of his mouth tipped into a grin. Then he winked at her. “I’m glad I booked a week.”

  Rose wasn’t looking forward to the next seven days. She enjoyed conversation with most everyone, but this man made her nervous.

  “Ach, there is one thing . . .” Their guest frowned, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “I saw a few mouse droppings underneath the bed.”

  Rose glanced at Esther, then back at Lloyd. “Oh dear. Ach, I’m so sorry. I thought I swept your room thoroughly, but I must have missed that. I’ll take care of it right away.” She could feel her face turning red.

  “Do you have a mouse problem here?” He set his plate on the table and grimaced. “Because I can’t stand the furry little creatures. If you’ve got some sort of infestation, I don’t think I could sleep through the night.”

  Rose glanced at Esther, unsure what to say. There were plenty of mice in the barn, but she hadn’t seen one in the house since she’d been there. And why would a guest look under the bed?

  “Since we are in a rural area, we do get an occasional mouse indoors, but I haven’t seen one in a very long time,” Esther said. “I’m sure you don’t have anything to worry about.”

  “Gut. I can’t stay in a place with mice.” Lloyd picked up his plate and started to eat again, his beady eyes studying Rose.

  She excused herself, and Esther followed her to the mudroom in the back of the house.

  “There’s something about that man, Esther,” she said, whispering. “He is very handsome, but to use one of Lizzie’s words, he’s rather creepy. I don’t like the way he looks at me.”

  “Ya.” Esther frowned. “He looks at you like prey that he’s getting ready to pounce on.” She shook her head. “There haven’t been many Amish men whom I didn’t like, or at least tolerate, but this new guest leaves me feeling a bit unsettled. We will keep an eye on him.”

  “Ya, okay.” She twisted the string of her prayer covering as she chewed her bottom lip. “I feel like I will need to lock mei bedroom door at night. Maybe we are just being silly and he’s just very flirtatious, but I don’t think I would have returned his interest even if I hadn’t met Benjamin.”

  Esther rubbed her arm. “Let me know if he gives you any trouble. I’m going to start getting the food together for our gathering this afternoon.” She lowered her arm and briefly hung her head before she looked up at Rose. “I hope everyone will still want to eat when they hear about Gus. Or maybe they won’t be very affected by the news.”

  “Don’t rule out a miracle, Esther. And I think everyone will be saddened by this news. Gus can be intolerable, but as we discussed earlier, there is good in him. I do think Jayce will take Gus’s prognosis rather hard. It was a surprise to me that they became such good friends, but maybe it shouldn’t have been. Jayce didn’t get along with his father, and Gus doesn’t speak to his daughter. Maybe they each found something in the other that they needed.”

  “Very well said.” Esther gave a taut nod of her head.

  “If not a bit wordy,” Rose said before she grinned.

  Esther stared at her. “I’ve noticed that it’s easier to keep up with you lately, with what you’re saying. I don’t want you to change, Rose. Truly. Lizzie and I are old, and if the truth be told, probably a little hard of hearing. So, as I’ve told you before, we just had trouble keeping up with you sometimes. But something has changed. You seem . . . more relaxed.” She smiled. “Maybe that has something to do with Benjamin?”

  It didn’t, but Rose nodded anyway as she forced a smile. Rose was working through some things on her own, issues that required a great deal of concentration. She was considering things before she spoke, in an effort not to say too much but also to open up to the people she loved. Some days, she wanted so badly to tell Esther and Lizzie—and now Benjamin—about her childhood. But would talking about it make it better or worse? It would forever be a memory she couldn’t shed. But maybe it didn’t have to define her.

  “I need to change clothes.” Rose eyed her soiled black apron. “Or at least mei apron, then I’ll be in the kitchen to help you.”

  “No rush.”

  After Esther left the mudroom, Rose went upstairs. On the way, she said a prayer that all would go all right when they gathered outside soon. Or as well as could be expected.

  * * *

  Esther waited until everyone had filled their plates with snacks, then they bowed their heads in prayer. There was a nice breeze underneath the oak tree where the two picnic tables had been for years.

  “I left the girls with the babysitter we use sometimes.” Naomi glanced around at everyone before she looked back at Esther. “I sensed this gathering was more than just a get-together. You have something important to tell us, don’t you?”

  Naomi had lived with Esther and Lizzie, and the girl could usually pick up on their moods. “Ya, I’m afraid I have some news.” Esther was the only one standing as she took a deep breath. She’d practiced what she would say, but at this moment, nothing sounded right. “It’s about Gus.”

  She glanced at Lizzie, who didn’t look up. Then her eyes landed on Jayce, who had stopped chewing, then quickly swallowed. “What about him?”

  “It’s with a heavy heart that I must tell you that Gus has an advanced stage of leukemia. His prognosis is grim.” Esther let her eyes drift to each one of them. There were concerned expressions, but Jayce’s gaze clung to hers as deep lines of worry formed across his forehead.

  When no one said anything, Esther said, “W
e have all had our run-ins with Gus.” She glanced at Lizzie, whose head remained down. “But we are the only family he has. I didn’t want you to find out from anyone else.” She bit her bottom lip when it began to tremble.

  Jayce laid his fork on his plate, and Esther’s heart hurt for the boy. “What do you mean? How grim?”

  Esther wanted to sugarcoat the situation, but honesty would be best—mixed with a large dose of hope. “Gus is considered terminal.” She held up a finger. “But only Gott knows the outcome of these things, and I believe our Lord provides miracles. I’m just letting you all know because I’m sure Gus will have more hospital stays in his future. He’s receiving chemotherapy right now. He tried to keep the news from us, but I . . . I guess you could say I stumbled upon it.”

  “We will all do whatever we can for Gus,” Naomi said as she glanced at Amos, who nodded. Their sentiments were echoed by Evelyn.

  “Wait.” Jayce’s forehead began to bead with sweat. “I don’t understand. I mean, he looks okay. I noticed he’s lost a little weight, but—” He blotted the sweat on his forehead with his napkin before he laid it on his plate. Jayce was known to finish off three or four times the normal amount of food a man can eat, but he’d clearly lost his appetite.

  Esther shifted her gaze to Lizzie, hoping her sister would offer up something positive to say, but Lizzie merely stared at her plate.

  “I know you take Gus pie and leftovers,” Evelyn said. “But I will start taking him more food as well. He’ll need more healthy meals, I would assume, as opposed to those dinners that come in a box.”

  “I will do whatever I can too.” Naomi blinked back tears. “He’s a grumpy fellow, but I can’t imagine him not being with us.”

  Amos put an arm around his wife. Esther put a hand to her heart, touched by the reactions coming from their small group. Jayce was rubbing his forehead with both hands.

  “Gus will be home from the hospital tomorrow. I plan to talk to him about what he might need.” She sighed. “I don’t know much about leukemia, but I learned this morning that there is a shortage of blood. Apparently his situation is more dire due to the fact that he has a rare blood type.”

  Jayce cleared his throat. “I know a little bit about this.” He lowered his hands to the table, and Evelyn placed her hand on his. “When I lived in Los Angeles, I worked with a man who had leukemia. We all gave blood in his name, and some of us donated platelets. He didn’t have a rare blood type, and he didn’t necessarily get our blood, but he got credit for the blood and platelets that we donated. Most of the time, he was assured a sufficient amount of blood for his transfusions because of our donations.” He paused and took a deep breath. “In Gus’s case, I would think that if any of us had Gus’s blood type, he’d get it directly from us since it’s not common. Either way, I’m going to find out mei blood type and plan to donate. Someone with leukemia usually needs blood transfusions often.”

  “I’m willing to find out mei blood type too.” Naomi squeezed her husband’s hand after he nodded and said he would also. “Either way, I’ll donate blood to help out,” she said.

  After Evelyn said she would donate blood, Esther said she would also, even though all things medical terrified her. Rose also chimed in that she would give blood.

  Everyone looked at Lizzie, who had slouched down on the bench so far that her chin was almost in her food.

  “Lizzie?” Esther said when it didn’t appear her sister was going to say anything.

  “What?” Lizzie didn’t look up, but she sighed. “Fine. I will too.”

  Esther wasn’t surprised that Lizzie was the last to commit. “I think that is all we can do, along with prayer, of course. And knowing Gus, he isn’t going to want us to feel sorry for him. I think we should try to carry on as normally as possible.”

  As Esther had feared, everyone else seemed to have lost their appetites along with Jayce. She had. Even Lizzie wasn’t eating.

  Jayce thanked Esther for the food, even though his plate was full, then he excused himself. His wife followed him to their buggy.

  Esther wanted to go to the boy, to try to ease the pain he must be feeling, but Evelyn would help him through this. Esther only had God to turn to. And she planned to pray a lot—for more time to help Gus seek the redemption she believed he wanted, despite what he said. And for a miracle. Life without Gus would feel . . . off.

  Chapter 14

  Saturday morning, Benjamin walked alongside Rose down to the pond toting two poles, a tackle box, and a container of night crawlers. The worms were almost guaranteed to at least snag a bite.

  “What kind of fish is in the pond?” He nodded to the fairly large body of water in front of them.

  “I don’t really know.” She carried a picnic basket as she stayed in step with him. “I would think catfish, maybe bass, or crappie? I’m so excited. I hope I catch something.” She lifted her eyes to the sky. “There are just enough clouds to keep us from being too hot. And the sunlight peaks through every now and then and keeps it from being a dreary day. What kind of bait will we use? I remember mei bruders used to use live bait like minnows or worms.”

  Her radiance and enthusiasm were contagious. Benjamin had a bounce in his step that he hadn’t had in a long time. “I brought worms.”

  “Eww.” She scrunched up her nose.

  Benjamin chuckled. “I’ll put them on the hook for you.”

  She shook her head. “Nee, I want the whole experience. I’ll bait mei hook and even take off a fish if I catch one.”

  Benjamin smiled, knowing she meant every word. “I’ll just sit back and watch.”

  She set the picnic basket on the bench that faced the pond. His mouth watered when she opened the two lids on top of the wicker basket. There were all kinds of containers, along with a thermos. “Ach, that’s a lot of food.”

  “We have a guest staying at the inn, and Esther also had people over late yesterday afternoon. There were lots of leftovers.” She started pulling out Tupperware. “I didn’t even ask you if you wanted to eat first. I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I brought a little of everything.”

  He leaned closer, lowering his head above the basket. “Where are the carrots?”

  She crinkled her nose again and lifted up a small plastic container. Holding it with two fingers at arms length, she said, “Exclusively for you.”

  He laughed. “I was actually kidding, but I’ll happily eat them.” His stomach rumbled. “Are you hungry?”

  “You certainly are.” She giggled. “I can hear your stomach growling.”

  Benjamin put a hand on his stomach. “I didn’t eat much breakfast since I figured we would have an early lunch.” He’d arrived at the inn at ten o’clock, like they’d agreed on. She didn’t even have everything unpacked when they heard movement to their left.

  “No, no, no.” A large man with a gray beard and ponytail walked up to them carrying a fishing pole and tackle box. “Rose Petal, this ain’t gonna work.”

  “Good morning, Gus.” She stopped what she was doing, straightened, and folded her hands in front of her. “It’s nice to see you, and I’m glad you’re home from the hospital.” She nodded at Benjamin. “This is mei friend, Benjamin.”

  “Yeah, okay.” The older man scowled at him before he turned his attention back to Rose. “First we had Naomi and Amos canoodling down here. Then Evelyn and Jayce.” He rolled his eyes. “And now it’s you two.”

  “I’ve brought lots of food if you’d care to join us.” Rose smiled, unruffled by the man. “I have dips and chips, chicken salad, tuna salad, vegetables, and—”

  “I don’t need any food.” The older man sighed. “Food is the last thing I need. Peace and quiet is what I need. Fishing gives me that.” He took two steps forward. “Maybe since I’m dying, you could schedule your canoodling around my fishing schedule?” He paused as he drew gray bushy eyebrows into a frown. “Which would be now, by the way.”

  Wow. Rose had been right when she said Gus was grumpy, but
in light of the circumstances, Benjamin held his tongue. He wondered, however, if fishing and lunch would lead to the canoodling Gus mentioned. Then he reminded himself that he and Rose had agreed to hold off on anything physical, at least for now. But Benjamin still had a hard time not staring at her mouth and recalling their first kisses.

  “Gus, I have heard Esther tell you several times in the past that the pond is for everyone to enjoy.” She shrugged. “And basically, we were here first, but we don’t mind if you’d like to join us. We’re planning to eat then start fishing afterward. I’ve never fished before, so Benjamin is going to teach me. I’m even going to put mei own worms on mei hooks, and—”

  “Oh, good grief. I’m going to go see Esther about this.” Gus stomped off toward the main house.

  “It was nice to meet you, Gus,” Benjamin said as the older man walked away.

  Gus mumbled something, but Benjamin didn’t catch what he said. Probably just as well. If the man hadn’t been terminally ill, he would have felt the need to defend Rose, to ask Gus to be a little kinder.

  Rose slammed her hands to her hips. “See what I mean.” She shook her head. “He’s like that most of the time. But I’ve always been nice to him. And especially now, I’ll continue to treat him with kindness. I’m always hoping some of it will rub off on him.” She lifted the thermos from the picnic basket. “I think he makes excuses to see Esther. We all think he’s sweet on her. Ach, well . . . everyone but Esther thinks that. But Esther did take his leukemia diagnosis very hard.” She drew in a breath. “Lizzie is another story. She and Gus fight like crazy.” She shriveled up her nose again. It was cute when she did that. “Lizzie has actually kicked him in the shin before, more than once.”

  “She’s so tiny.” Benjamin recalled how different the sisters were in appearance. Esther was a larger woman.

  “Don’t let her fool you. She’s a tough lady. And unpredictable. Esther is more refined.” Rose laughed. “They are opposites, but they lieb each other very much. I wish I was close to mei schweschdere like that.” Her expression fell right away, like it always did when she mentioned her family. “I lieb mei schweschdere, but we just weren’t close like that.”