His Love Endures Forever Read online

  “Vera, I’m not happy that Levi has made this choice. But I will tell you again . . . it’s Levi’s choice to make.”

  “Elam.” Vera folded her hands in her lap. “Did you even talk to the boy? Did you tell him what a mistake he is making?”

  “Ya. I talked to him. I wanted to be sure that he was clear how his life would change if he makes this decision. He knows it saddens us both, Vera. But Levi has a gut head on his shoulders, and an even better heart. And if he feels called by God to make this honorable step onto another path, regardless of the cost, who are we to question that calling?”

  Vera took a long, slow breath, trying not to snap back at Elam. “Levi isn’t being called to do anything. He is being manipulated by a pregnant Englisch girl who doesn’t want to raise a boppli on her own.”

  “Ya, well, if you’re wrong . . .” Elam put his glasses back on and buried his head in the Good Book.

  “If I’m wrong?”

  He looked at her over his wire rims. “Then you’ll be praying for forgiveness for your meddling.”

  “Asking Sarah to just talk it through with Levi is not meddling. It’s simply giving our boy yet another opportunity to see if this is truly the Lord’s will.” She opened up her Bible and flipped to the book of Job, realizing that Job too had to suffer loss but that it was allowed by God’s grace. Is this what’s happening to me? Will this be a blessing down the road?

  It was hard for Vera to believe that.

  LEVI SHIFTED HIS weight on the seat and hoped that Sarah would remove her hand from his leg. He’d done this twice before with no luck, but this time she eased her hand away. They were almost to her house, and she’d done most of the talking on the way. Thankfully she didn’t bring up Danielle or the wedding again. She’d talked about her job at the bakery, an upcoming quilting party, and things that didn’t really interest Levi, but he’d nodded and made a comment every now and then and tried not to yawn.

  He and his father had installed solar panels at four different homes today, and he was exhausted. But at least he was off work tomorrow and could sleep in. Danielle was picking him up at seven thirty to go eat breakfast, then they were going to the courthouse to get their marriage license. He couldn’t believe that he’d be a married man in just a few days. His mind was wandering again when Sarah twisted in her seat to face him and cupped his cheek with one hand. It caught him a bit off guard, but he didn’t jerk away. He felt like he’d already hurt Sarah’s feelings enough.

  “Danki for bringing me home.” Sarah’s brown eyes captured his as the waxing moon lit the area around the buggy. Long lashes swept across high cheekbones as she blinked. She looked up at him again, tears in her eyes. Maybe if things had been different, he might have kissed her on this night, if for no other reason than to comfort her. But he gently eased her hand from his face.

  “Sarah,” he whispered. “You’ll find the man you’re to be with. In time.”

  She smiled, sniffling. “I thought you to be that man, Levi.”

  Levi lowered his head in shame. He never should have taken her to the Sunday singings, should have known that she’d think it meant more than it did. But at the time, Levi didn’t know if his feelings for Sarah might have blossomed. He never could have foreseen God’s calling or known how deep his feelings for Danielle really went. “I’m sorry,” he said before he stepped out of the buggy. He wound his way around to her side and opened the door, then offered her his hand, the way he would any woman. Once she was standing in front of him, she slowly wrapped her arms around his waist. Levi didn’t move and kept his hands at his sides, even though his heart was racing.

  “Just hold me this one time,” she said, her voice breaking, “before you’re a married man.” Sarah’s head rested on his shoulder.

  Levi slowly wrapped his arms around her. They were both shivering out in the cold, and he was ready to get home. But Sarah was clearly upset, and he couldn’t just drop her off in such a state. So he held her for a few moments. Finally she eased away, but her eyes, still glistening with tears, swept across his face before she leaned in and pressed her mouth to his. Her lips were soft, her touch tender, and Levi found himself returning the kiss as if his body were making its own decisions.

  Danielle’s face flashed in his mind’s eye, and as if pricked by a needle, Levi pulled away from her. “No, Sarah. I can’t.”

  “But you did. You kissed me back, Levi. Don’t you think that means something?” She leaned her head on his shoulder again, and this time he was more forceful as he pulled away.

  “I’m marrying Danielle. That . . . the kiss . . . it shouldn’t have happened.” Levi pulled off his black hat and scratched his head. He’d kissed a few women during his rumschpringe, but none of them had ever initiated it. “I have to go.” He waited for Sarah to head toward her house. Levi wouldn’t leave until he saw that she was safely inside. But she covered her face and started to cry hard.

  “Ahh, Sarah, please don’t cry.” Levi gently placed a hand on one of her arms. “Please.” He couldn’t stand to see her so upset. And knowing he was the cause of it made it worse.

  “I shouldn’t have kissed someone who is promised to another. I’m sorry.” She moved her hands away and tucked her chin. Levi could barely see her face beneath the rim of her black bonnet. “I’m so ashamed.”

  Levi lifted her chin and found her eyes. “I’m sorry too, Sarah. I’m sorry if you thought that there was more between us than . . .” He moved his hand from her chin when he saw her blinking her eyes, her lips parted. He couldn’t risk another kiss. The first one had been wrong enough, and to allow it to happen again would be unforgivable.

  She ran a soft finger along his cheek, and despite how he longed for her to go into the house, he couldn’t deny a sudden urge to have her stay. She was so beautiful . . .

  “You’re making a mistake, Levi.” She spoke softly as her finger trailed down and across his lips.

  Levi swallowed hard as he stepped back and away from her touch. “I hope not.” As soon as he said the words, he regretted them, knowing he should have spoken with more conviction.

  “There’s still time . . . you know, for you to change your mind.” Sarah pulled a tissue from her apron pocket and dabbed at her eyes for a few moments, sniffling. “You kissed me back. Think about that tonight, Levi.”

  Without any warning, she quickly stepped forward and kissed him on the mouth, then turned and ran toward her house. Levi could hear her crying as she stood on the porch, trying to get ahold of herself before entering. And he felt like a big heel.

  DANIELLE PULLED UP to what she’d come to call “my little church” at seven fifteen Wednesday morning. She flung herself out of the car, marched up the steps, and pulled the heavy wooden door open. She hurried to the front pew and sat down. She stared at Jesus hanging on the cross, took a deep breath, and asked herself what she was doing here. What was it about this place that made her angry, yet seemed to pull her in at the same time?

  She looked around, making sure she was the only one in the church. She assumed God could read her thoughts. If there was a God. But she found herself whispering what was ringing through her mind. “I’m not sure what I’m doing here.”

  She waited, although she had no idea what she was waiting for. A response? A “word from the Lord”? Breathing in the silence, she crossed her legs and recalled the many Amish worship services Martha had dragged her to. Sometimes, despite the language barrier, she’d felt something . . . something peaceful. Maybe it was just because the Amish were loving, kind people, and with a whole room of them, the love just soaked into your heart somehow.

  Danielle uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. It came to her then. She knew why she was there and what she had to say. “God, I don’t want to ruin Levi’s life. I love him enough to not do that. So, if You are there, and You do hear people’s prayers . . . could You maybe just give me some kind of sign? And I’ll try to be a better person.” She paused. “Amen.”

  She got up
and hurried out of the church. It was exactly seven thirty when she pulled up at Levi’s house, and she was glad to see him sitting outside on the porch. The last thing she needed this morning was to face Vera. She’d already had a bout of dry heaves this morning, and she was sure seeing Levi’s mom would bring on another wave of nausea.

  “Hey,” Levi said as he got into her car. He leaned over and kissed her on the mouth, and Danielle wasn’t sure that anything had ever felt more awkward. Was that a sign from God? She should have never asked for a sign. She wasn’t even sure if that was how God worked, or more importantly, if He even listened to anything she had to say. Great. Now I’ll be thinking everything is a sign.

  By the time they got seated at the Parkview Café for breakfast, it felt like old times. Just her and Levi, two best friends having breakfast. She even managed to get down two pancakes without feeling like she might hurl. But coffee remained out of the question. Just the smell made her tummy queasy. When she was done eating, she stared at the handsome man across from her who would soon become her husband. She tipped her head to one side.

  “Why are you staring at me like that?” Levi’s sandy blond hair was flat on the top where his hat had been. He’d placed it on the bench seat beside him when they’d arrived. But his brown eyes twinkled, and to Danielle, he looked happy.

  “You know . . . I used to be able to tell you anything.”

  The left corner of Levi’s mouth curled up, which seemed even cuter now than it used to. “You still can. Nothing’s changed.”

  “Everything has changed. We’re going to be married. Husband and wife.” She leaned back against the seat. “Now it feels weird to tell you what’s on my mind.”

  “Danielle, what is it?” Levi raised one eyebrow.

  “Does it feel weird to you when we kiss?” She held her breath as she waited for him to answer.

  “A little.” He grinned. “But in a gut way.” He reached over and patted her hand. “Don’t worry. It will all come naturally. I’m sure that I love you and that I want to be with you forever.”

  She smiled. “I’m sure too.” Maybe this is my sign from God, the warm feeling that I have all over? Tossing her hair over her shoulders, she knew she had to quit seeing everything as a sign. It was far-fetched. If that were the case, God would have helped her years ago.

  “You ready to go get our license?” Levi put some cash on the table for the waitress and reached for his hat on the seat beside him.

  “Yes. I am.”

  She smiled when Levi reached for her hand as they left the café. Amish weren’t big on public affection, so she knew it was a big step for Levi. And there it was again . . . that warm feeling. His fingers felt good, intertwining with hers. If this is a sign, Lord, I’ll take it.

  SATURDAY MORNING, DANIELLE didn’t feel sick to her stomach for the first time in days. Ironically. She would have thought that wedding-day jitters might have brought on an extra dose of morning sickness, but she felt great today. Another sign from God?

  Martha had already gone to the church earlier that morning and returned home. She’d wanted to put up a few decorations and to make sure everything was all set. There wasn’t really that much to prepare for, but Martha had insisted on doing it while Danielle got ready. Danielle had been particularly happy to see that Martha had dyed her hair again, and it had turned out a lovely, soft brown. No more purple. Danielle didn’t want purple-haired Martha in her wedding pictures.

  As she pulled a section of hair through her flatiron, she wondered what kind of wedding pictures she would have. The majority of the people attending were Amish, and they didn’t believe in posing for pictures. Would Levi pose with her, at least? They hadn’t discussed it.

  She took a final look at herself in the mirror in her ivory dress and thought about her mother. Blinking her eyes a few times, she was determined not to cry. Her mother had lost the right to attend her wedding a long time ago. She placed her hands on her tummy. Or to be a grandmother.

  Martha would be the baby’s grandmother. And Vera, she supposed. She’d watched the way Vera was with Levi’s younger sister, Betsy, and with all the little ones in the Amish community. She’d be a wonderful grandmother too. In time. Once she accepted their marriage.

  She dabbed on a bit of lip gloss, opting to wear almost no makeup. It seemed important to make this day as easy as possible for Levi and his people, even if his people wouldn’t be his people after today. That thought still troubled her, how much Levi was giving up. She heard Martha bellowing from downstairs that it was time to go, so Danielle leaned close to the mirror, had a final look, and went down the stairs.

  Martha was grabbing her purse from the couch when Danielle hit the landing, and Arnold was putting on his black hat, the one he always wore to church.

  “You sure look spiffy,” she told Arnold, then gave him a hug.

  “As do you. A beautiful bride.” He pulled her into a hug and kissed her on the cheek. “Are you ready?”

  “Yes. I’m ready. And, Arnold . . . thank you for helping Levi, his brother, and friends work on our house for the past couple of days.”

  “It felt good to step out of retirement.” He pushed his outdated hat into place. “Does an old man good.”

  Arnold had been a carpenter when Martha had first met him, helping to build a school for the Amish children.

  Martha huffed. “If you’re old, I’m old, and I choose not to be old.” She turned off the television and flipped off the lights.

  “We’re not going to have any electricity or solar panels for a while, but otherwise, Levi said it’s cleaned up and livable.” She looked to Arnold for confirmation and with some relief saw him purse his lips and nod. “Though I’m not sure how it can be livable without me being able to charge my cell phone.”

  Arnold chuckled. “Well, that will give you a good reason to come visit. To charge your cell phone, straighten your hair, or whatever else you might need.” Then he whispered, “And I know you’ll miss Martha’s cooking.”

  Truth was, Danielle couldn’t cook much better than Martha. “You can eat my share,” she whispered back.

  They both were laughing, but stopped when they heard a knock at the door.

  “I’ll get it.” Danielle walked to the door and pulled it open, surprised to see Sarah standing on the porch. She’d been around Sarah a few times and saw her at the Amish worship services, but she didn’t know her well at all. But she did know that Levi had taken her to a few of their Sunday singings. She tensed. “Hi, Sarah. What’s up?”

  Sarah bit her bottom lip for a moment, then blew out a breath. “I need to talk to you.”

  “Okay.” She stepped aside and gestured toward the den.

  “Alone?” Sarah whispered after she’d nodded in Martha and Arnold’s direction.

  Arnold moved past them, gently pulling Martha by the arm. “We’ll be outside, ladies, enjoying the sunshine.”

  “Make it quick,” Martha said. “We need to leave shortly.”

  After they were outside, Danielle motioned for Sarah to sit down, but Sarah folded her hands in front of her and shook her head.

  “I can’t stay. I just came here . . . I came here to . . .” Sarah dropped her gaze to the floor.

  Danielle took a step toward her. “What’s wrong? Is something wrong with Levi? What is it?”

  “No, Levi is fine.” Sarah looked up at her. “And I’m so sorry to come on your wedding day, but, Danielle . . .” She moved closer and touched her arm. “I couldn’t have lived with myself if I didn’t come.” Pulling her hand away, she blinked back tears.

  “It’s Levi, isn’t it?” Danielle’s heart was racing, wishing Sarah would get to the point.

  Sarah nodded. “Levi is so confused, Danielle. This wedding will pull him from his people. I was with him Tuesday night, and—”

  “This past Tuesday?” Danielle put a hand on her hip. “Where?”

  “I had supper with the family and Levi drove me home. We talked a lot, and he just
isn’t ready for all of this . . . the wedding and everything.” Sarah looked at the floor and shook her head.

  Danielle folded her arms across her chest. “Really?” Or maybe Sarah just wanted Levi for herself and this was her lastditch effort to keep Danielle from marrying him. “He seems fine to me. He loves me.” But did Levi really confide in Sarah? Does he still have reservations?

  Sarah’s tears in the corners of her eyes dried instantly as she locked eyes with Danielle, a smirk on her face. “If he loves you so much, why was he kissing me?”

  Danielle felt her knees giving way beneath her. “I don’t believe you.”

  “Ask him then.” Sarah flashed a thin-lipped smile at Danielle. “Because you know Levi can’t lie. He’ll tell you the truth. Just a few days ago, he was kissing me. I think that should tell you something. He’s not ready to be pulled from his faith, from all that is familiar to him . . . or from me. He doesn’t belong with you, Danielle. Do the right thing, and let him go.”

  Sarah spun around and marched to the door.

  Danielle stood with her jaw hanging open as she watched Sarah leave in her buggy.

  Martha and Arnold came back inside.

  “What was that about?” Martha walked up to Danielle and stood in front of her.

  Danielle couldn’t control the tears from falling. Sarah had been right about at least one thing. Levi couldn’t tell a lie. He’d surely kissed Sarah recently. Danielle already knew what the answer would be if she asked him about it.

  “The wedding is off !” Danielle fled the room and hurried upstairs.

  I wanted a sign from God. And now I have it.

  VERA FACED OFF with Elam in the living room, her bottom lip trembling. A combination of anger and hurt swam through her veins. “I’m not going, Elam. And there’s nothing else you can say to me.”

  “How about I am the head of the household and you have to do what I say?” Elam looped his thumbs beneath his suspenders and stood taller. But only for a moment. “Ach, Vera . . . come on, mei lieb. He’s our sohn. And it’s his wedding day.”