An Amish Year Read online

  “Everything’s okay, I promise. The lightning is still a ways off, and it’s moving to the east. We’ll just have to wait here a little while.” He rubbed her arm, and she could feel his heart beating against her ear. She knew hers was pounding twice as hard, but the nearness of him gave her comfort. And something else. Something she wouldn’t examine until later.

  She lifted her face to his, gazed into his eyes, and tried to figure out what it was about Jonas that left her feeling light-headed. He slid a finger along her cheek, pushing back a strand of hair, and for a few seconds, she was sure he was going to kiss her. She quickly wrenched herself away, straightened her kapp, and took a deep, cleansing breath.

  “I think the rain is easing up.” She stared straight ahead but eventually turned to face him. He was grinning again—that irritating, all-knowing quirky smile. “What’s so funny? Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “I almost kissed you.” He paused, his smile fading as he gazed into her eyes. “And one day, I’m going to marry you.”

  Irma Rose’s jaw dropped as she turned to face him. “You are ab im kopp! And arrogant. You think everyone wants to be with you! You’ve always been like that, Jonas Miller.” She chuckled. “I’m not one of those people.”

  “Whatever you say, Irma Rose.” He smiled again, winked at her, then turned and looked over his shoulder. “The water’s going down.” He eased Bud around until the buggy faced the opposite direction. The rain had all but stopped, and when they got closer to the small stream of water moving across the road, it was easy to see that it wasn’t more than an inch deep, and Bud easily got them safely through it.

  She couldn’t look at him, so she kept her eyes on the road in front of them as they passed Mary’s house. Jonas took an alternate route to Irma Rose’s house. When he finally pulled into her driveway, she knew she had to thank him for the ride, but she wasn’t about to look at him. “Danki.” She pulled on the door to open it, but he caught her arm, causing her to stop breathing for a moment.

  “Go with me to the singing on Sunday. Please.”

  She eased her arm out of his grip and released her breath. “I’m going with Jake.” She opened the door, stepped out, then turned to face him. “And you’re going with Mary.”

  Jonas watched her walk up the porch steps, open the door, and go inside her house. She didn’t turn around. After a few seconds, he eased Bud into a light trot and headed for home.

  He’d known Irma Rose was the one for him when he first met her three years ago, and he suspected that she’d felt that spark too. Even though she’d been too young for courting at the time, it was easy for him to envision the woman she would become someday. Jonas’s father had just died, and despite his strong faith, he was struggling to find joy, even just a reason to smile. Irma Rose had been sitting in the grass, reading a book. When she looked up and saw him, she closed her book, her cheeks filling with color. She was soft-spoken but confident as she told him about the book she was reading, and he’d listened to the gentleness of her voice, even though he had read this same book nearly a dozen times, as recommended by his father. And when she’d tenderly lifted a baby grasshopper into the palm of her hand, coddling it as if it were a newborn baby, something inside of Jonas changed forever. He would wait for her.

  But he was going to need to do something extra special to convince her to give him a chance. Jake was stiff competition. All this time, he’d been worried about Isaac. And somehow Jake had snuck up and stolen her affection.

  When he got home, he settled Bud in his stall, then set to work on all the chores he’d missed while he was out. As he dumped a bucket of feed into the pigpen, he thought about what he would have done if anything had happened to Irma Rose. Thank You, Lord . . . for getting us home safely.

  After he’d tended to the pigs, he took to milking the cows. That’s how it was when you had all sisters and no father. His mamm and four sisters took real gut care of him, so he tried to make sure they had everything they needed and that the farm was kept up the way his father would have wanted. He didn’t really have time to be chasing after a maedel. But Irma Rose wasn’t just any girl.

  He’d almost finished his late-afternoon chores when Missy came running out of the house. His four-year-old sister was a bundle of energy. She most likely was coming out to tell him what was for supper, that it was ready, or maybe just to fill him in on her day. He tried to be a father to her as much as a brother. His other sisters were a little older, and he was thankful for that, for his mother’s sake. At least they were able to help Mamm with laundry, cooking, and tending to the many tasks it took to keep things running smoothly.

  Mae was ten; Annie, eleven; and Elizabeth, thirteen. Jonas’s father used to jokingly tell Jonas, “It took us six years to have Elizabeth. I reckon the good Lord thought you were plenty a handful on your own back then.” Jonas smiled as he recalled memories of his father.

  “Mamm’s sick!” Missy screamed, and because of the tears in her eyes, Jonas was already moving toward her. He scooped her into his arms as he hurried to the house.

  “Now, now. What’s wrong?” Jonas’s heart was pounding as he picked up his pace.

  “Elizabeth said to come get you. Mamm is throwing up red. What’s wrong with her, Jo Jo?”

  He set Missy on the porch steps and ran into the house. He didn’t know what he’d do if the Lord saw fit to take his mother too.

  Chapter Three

  IRMA ROSE HUFFED AS HER MOTHER PACKED A VARIETY OF baked goods to take to the Millers’ house. She leaned against the kitchen counter and folded her arms across her chest, sighing heavily.

  Mamm added a loaf of bread to the bag. She paused and looked over her shoulder at Irma Rose. “Why are you giving me fits about taking this to the Millers? I told you that Sarah Jane is going to be in the hospital for a while, and I’m sure the girls and Jonas have their hands full in her absence. That little maedel, Missy, isn’t even five yet, and without a father, I know they will need some help. Their oldest girl is only thirteen.”

  Irma Rose thought the name Sarah Jane was the prettiest name she’d ever heard. I’m going to name my daughter that someday. She couldn’t wait to be a mother, and for a few moments, she allowed herself to imagine a life with Jake and lots of kinner. “I know,” she finally said as she chewed on a nail. Maybe Jonas wouldn’t be there when she made the delivery.

  Mamm handed her the bag of pastries, breads, and cookies. During the summer, they tried to do all of their baking early in the day, but the kitchen was still stifling. “Tomorrow I’ll send a casserole or something easy for them to have for supper. But I know Widow Zook took care of their supper for tonight.”

  Tomorrow? Was she going to be carting food to the Millers every day? Guilt nipped at her for having the thought. Of course she wanted to do what she could to help their family. Jonas would probably be working in the fields anyway.

  Ten minutes later, she pulled into their driveway. She loved the Miller homestead. Not only was it pristine but it had just the right mix of wide open fields as well as areas that were slightly wooded, keeping the house and other structures out of view from the road. Once you laid eyes on the home and property, it took your breath away, especially this time of year. Sarah Jane and her daughters had filled the many flower beds with colorful blooms, a reminder to Irma Rose that her own beds needed sprucing. The house always looked freshly painted; she knew Jonas could be credited for that. Since his father had died three years ago, Jonas had worked hard to keep the property up. Wild and reckless, yes. But not lazy.

  As she tethered her horse, she tried to figure out what it was about Jonas that bothered her so much. She always came back to the same conclusion. He made her feel uncomfortable because he assumed she had feelings for him that she didn’t have
. He acted like he knew her better than she knew herself. His arrogance put her on edge. She carried the bag through the plush green grass, wishing she was barefoot so she could feel the warm dewy blades tickling her toes. She knocked on the door and waited. A few moments later, Elizabeth answered the door with Missy standing beside her.

  “Wie bischt, Irma Rose. Come in.” Elizabeth swung the door wide and stepped aside so Irma Rose could enter the living room.

  Since all of the Miller girls were younger than Irma Rose, she didn’t know them all that well. But the age differences hadn’t been the only reason Irma Rose avoided coming here if she could, and she’d been doing so for the past three years. Ever since Jonas showed up at her house while she was sitting underneath a tree reading a book. He’d struck up a conversation with her after returning a serving bowl to her mother, and not only did her hands get clammy that day but she’d stuttered while talking with him, something she’d never done. And after only a few moments, she’d broken out in a rash on her face. At thirteen, she’d been sure she was allergic to Jonas Miller. She didn’t break out in hives around him anymore, but her hands still became sweaty sometimes.

  “Mei mamm sent some baked goods to help out while your mother is in the hospital.” She handed the brown paper bag to Elizabeth. “And she said she would send supper for tomorrow night.” She leaned down and said hello to Missy.

  “Ach, this is so kind. Danki.” Elizabeth smiled, but Irma Rose saw the black circles underneath the girl’s eyes. It had to be a lot of work taking care of this huge place and three younger sisters. Irma Rose suspected Mae and Annie spent half a day at summer Bible school, like most of the kinner that age, so that left Elizabeth home alone with Missy while also taking care of everything else. Even after just a couple of days, the schedule looked to be taking a toll on Elizabeth. And the poor girl must be so worried about her mamm too.

  “I was just making Missy a sandwich,” Elizabeth said as she headed back toward the kitchen. “Can you come in and visit a few minutes?”

  Irma Rose followed Elizabeth and Missy across the spacious family room, and just before they rounded the corner to the kitchen, Irma Rose heard someone cough, but it was too late to turn back.

  “Please tell your mudder danki, but there is no need to send supper tomorrow.” Elizabeth smiled as she nodded to the kitchen counter, filled with bowls and casserole dishes. “I’m still trying to fit everything into the refrigerator. But I’m very grateful for all of the kindness everyone in the community has shown our family.”

  Guilt gnawed at Irma Rose again because of the relief she felt over not having to return tomorrow. She avoided Jonas’s eyes as he stood up from the kitchen table. His dark hair was flattened on top of his head, like he’d just taken off his hat, and after a few moments, her eyes drifted to his. “Wie bischt, Jonas.” She held her head high, determined not to let him get the best of her today. She glanced at her hands, then back at him. “I’m sorry to hear of your mudder’s illness.”

  “Danki.” He smiled slightly, the familiar dark shadow across his jaw. Maybe he just needed a better razor. “Irma Rose . . .” He scratched his head for a moment. “I think it’s best that I not go to the singing on Sunday. Will you be seeing Mary? Might you be able to get word to her?”

  “Ya, I can go by her—”

  “Nee,” Elizabeth interrupted. “The Englisch doctor said Mamm is going to be okay.” She glanced at Irma Rose. “She has an ulcer in her stomach, a bad one.” Elizabeth turned back to Jonas. “But she might even be home before Sunday afternoon. Don’t cancel your plans with Mary. I can take care of things here.”

  Jonas took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “I don’t know . . .” He looked down at the floor, then back up at his sister. “But if she’s not home, I’d be here to help you.”

  Elizabeth shook her head, frowning. “I can do this, Jonas.” She glanced at Missy, who was busy sneaking a cookie from a tin on the counter, then looked back at her brother. “I’m old enough to take care of everything.”

  Irma Rose wondered if that was true, but she stayed quiet as they waited for Jonas to respond. He finally nodded, and Elizabeth began slathering a slice of bread with peanut spread. She waited for Elizabeth to get out the homemade cheese spread, but instead, she stacked on a bunch of pickles before slapping the other slice of bread on top.

  Jonas laughed. “It looks terrible, ya?”

  Irma Rose pulled her eyes from the sandwich, looked at Jonas for a moment, then glanced down at her hands. She turned to Missy and waited for the little girl to finish praying silently, then flinched when Missy took a big bite.

  “Can I make you a sandwich, Irma Rose?” Elizabeth didn’t look up as she slathered another piece of bread with more of the peanut spread. Followed by more pickles.

  “Nee. Danki, though.” Irma Rose swallowed hard. Just the thought of eating that sandwich caused her stomach to rumble a warning.

  Elizabeth put the other slice of bread on top of the pickles and handed the plate to Jonas. He took a large bite, swallowed, and smiled.

  “I said it looks awful, but it’s gut.” He took another hefty bite and winked at Irma Rose. She pulled her eyes away as her heart thumped against her chest.

  “I guess I should be getting home. Please let us know if you need anything, and I hope that your mamm will continue to be on the mend.”

  Jonas almost knocked his chair over as he stood up, still chewing the last of his sandwich, which he’d practically inhaled. “I’ll walk you out.”

  “Nee. No need.” She gave a quick wave to Elizabeth before she hurried out of the kitchen. She’d almost made it to the front door when Jonas edged up beside her and pushed the screen open.

  She didn’t look back as she made her way across the yard toward her buggy, but she could hear Jonas’s big feet tromping through the grass behind her.

  “Irma Rose.”

  She stopped a few feet from her buggy and slowly turned to face him. “Ya?”

  Jonas scratched his forehead and knitted his eyebrows. “Do you think it’s wrong of me to take Mary to the singing? You suggested it, but it wonders me if maybe it ain’t right.”

  Irma Rose didn’t want to see Mary get hurt, but the situation was becoming awkward. “And—and why is . . . that?” She tried to avoid his dark eyes peering down at her, but she felt like a piece of metal drawn to a huge magnet. If she ever let herself get too close to him, she might be stuck with him. Forever. And that thought terrified her.

  As he inched closer to her, she took a step backward, recalling the moment in his buggy when he admitted he’d almost kissed her. And even more wildly inappropriate, him saying he would marry her someday.

  “You’re the person I want to date. Not Mary. But if you really don’t want anything to do with me, then I’ll do my best to get to know Mary better.”

  She blurted out the first thing that came to mind, and she spoke through a slight chuckle. “So much for marrying me, ya?”

  Right away, she felt the color drain from her face, but there was no taking it back, so she faked a smile before turning to leave. He was on her heels again, and this time he latched onto her arm before she could get in her buggy.

  She shook loose of his hold. “Go with Mary to the singing. Date Mary. She likes you, Jonas. And—and . . .” She searched her mind for a way to tell him that he just wasn’t right for her, but there was no kind way to do so. “I’m dating Jake. He’s the man I’ll marry someday.” She folded her arms across her chest.

  The only thing she was sure of was her uneasiness when she was near Jonas, and she couldn’t live her life feeling like that. She’d no sooner had the thought when she remembered how safe she’d felt with him during the st
orm, the gentle way he’d held her, the tenderness in his voice, the feel of his heart beating against her ear. She held her breath and waited to see if he would argue, but instead he was quiet, his expression masked.

  He took a long, slow step backward, lifted his hand to his forehead to block the sun, and said, “Okay.” He kept his eyes on her as he took a couple more steps, but when he turned around, his pace quickened as he went up the steps and disappeared into the house.

  Irma Rose couldn’t move for a few moments as she pondered exactly what it was that she wanted from Jonas Miller. She didn’t want to be with him, but she wasn’t sure she wanted him with anyone else either.

  Jonas towel-dried his hair, tossed the towel on the floor, and sat on his bed. He raised the flame on the lantern, then opened his copy of The Rawhide Kid, sure his mother would blow her top if she knew he’d snuck the comic book into the house. Especially since it was about a heroic gunfighter from the nineteenth century who was unjustly wanted as an outlaw.

  He opened the book and started where he’d left off, but he couldn’t concentrate. Something about taking Mary to the singing on Sunday just didn’t feel right. He had to assume that Irma Rose was telling the truth, that she intended to marry Jake Ebersol someday. The thought caused him to shiver. But if that were the case, then it would be best for him to get to know Mary better. Jonas had known for a while that Mary fancied him. She was a sweet girl, a pretty maedel who was a bit quiet for Jonas’s liking.

  Tossing the book to the end of the bed, he lay down. The room was stuffy and humid, and he was already sweating again. Summer was Mamm’s favorite time of year, and she never seemed bothered by the heat that settled over Lancaster County. Jonas preferred the sharpness of a cold winter. Maybe because it allowed for more time in the house, a fire in the fireplace, and extra family time. It wasn’t the same without his father, but he enjoyed the togetherness and reading to the girls more during that time of year.