Plain Promise Page 6
And Tyler. His only son.
Why? Why would God allow a child to be born into this world who has zero hope for a productive life?
And why was Monica coming here? If that’s even true.
He’d no sooner had the thought when a car turned into the driveway.
5
THE BLACK CAR DOOR SWUNG OPEN, AND A MATCHING black, spike-heeled boot emerged and landed hard on the packed snow. Kade watched Monica twist toward the backseat, her head topped with short, blonde locks, like he remembered. He watched her lips moving, and his heart raced with long pent-up emotions bubbling to the surface. Anger. Resentment. Regret. Kade knew these sentiments stemmed from his own behavior, as well as Monica’s.
Kade saw a crown of light-brown hair bobbing in the backseat. Tyler.
He wanted to run to his son, embrace him, and beg the boy to forgive him for his absence. But he was immobilized with fear of the unknown. How much had Tyler changed in the last six months? Kade knew from his past visits with Tyler that his son’s ability to reason and understand was one-dimensional at best. Had things gotten worse? Maybe better.
He knew he should move. Walk toward the car. Anything.
Monica pulled herself to a standing position and rested her elbows on the car door. “Hello, Kade.”
She was as lovely as ever, but his heart didn’t skip any beats.
All that they’d had—gone. Too many bitter arguments, too much time gone by. What could she possibly be doing here, so far from home? Kade could think of only one thing. She’s finally come for a divorce.
“Don’t you want to come see your son?” She closed the door and folded her arms across her chest.
Monica was already opening the back door by the time Kade hit the second porch step. He headed across the snow, his heart filled with trepidation, his head swirling with questions. He stared at the back of her black leather jacket while she unbuckled Tyler’s seat belt.
Kade swallowed hard. Then inhaled the crisp, cool air, blew it out slowly, and watched it cloud the space in front of him. He recalled the photo of Tyler that he kept in his wallet and wondered again how much his son might have changed. In the picture, it was as if Tyler was looking intently at something, but yet at nothing. A blank stare.
Kade warmed his hands in his pockets. And waited. His heart continued to thump at an unhealthy rate.
Monica lifted Tyler from the seat and placed him on the snow in front of her. He was dressed in blue jeans and a red coat, and he was toting a metal lunch box with Spider-Man etched on the front.
Tyler smiled, and a warmth filled Kade’s insides. He remembered the first time Tyler smiled when he was a baby and when his son had taken his first step.
“Hello.” Kade leaned down and put his hands on his knees.
Tyler didn’t answer. He was taking in his surroundings.
“Can we please go in?” Monica’s tone was familiar, laced with attitude. “I’ve had to go to the bathroom for the last twenty miles, and it’s cold out here.”
“Monica, what are you doing here?” Kade couldn’t take his gaze off of Tyler, whose eyes were all over the place—glancing toward the barn, then the main farmhouse, and back to Kade. Then he’d start all over again.
“Can we talk about it inside?” Monica reached for Tyler’s hand. “Tyler, inside.”
“Tyler, inside,” Tyler repeated.
Kade loved the innocent sound of Tyler’s voice, even though Tyler didn’t talk much. The testing began six months prior to his second birthday. Six months after Tyler’s second birthday, Monica had left. His family gone.
“Sure,” Kade said. He motioned them toward the cottage. “I can’t imagine what brought you all the way to Lancaster County.” He shook his head and followed behind them.
Monica didn’t turn around. “Well, I can’t imagine what brought you all the way out here either. You hate the cold.”
He decided not to bother with an answer. “The bathroom is that way.” Kade pointed to his right.
“Tyler, I’ll be right back. You sit here and play.” Monica eased Tyler to a spot in front of the fireplace. Tyler opened his lunch box and dumped colorful plastic letters all over the tan carpet—the same kind of letters Kade remembered having as a child.
“Whatcha got there?” Kade squatted down on the floor beside Tyler.
Tyler looked at him. Well, not at him. At Kade’s shirt. Kade glanced down at the word Nike printed across the front of his sweatshirt. Tyler was homed in on the word and seemed mesmerized by it. “Nike,” Kade said softly.
“Nike,” Tyler repeated. Then Tyler turned his attention back to his letters and located an N, then an I, K, and finally an E. He placed them in order, and without looking at Kade, said the word again.
Monica entered the room. Kade stood up and turned to face her, excitement in his tone. “He can spell. When did he learn to spell?”
She started to say something on impulse, Kade could tell. But she stopped herself. “During the last six months.”
Kade chose to ignore the dig and turned back toward Tyler. “Can he read too?”
“Yes.” She sighed. “But Kade, he doesn’t know what he’s spelling or reading. I mean, he can’t comprehend it.”
She walked toward the couch, sat down, and crossed her legs. Monica had great legs, but her tight blue jeans didn’t have any effect on him.
Kade followed her to the couch, but he didn’t sit down. She still hadn’t explained the reason for the visit.
“But he does read?” Kade knew his tone was filled with hopefulness. Maybe the doctors had been wrong on some level.
Monica rolled her green eyes. “Yes. He reads. He picks up books all the time, and sometimes he reads aloud. But he has no idea what any of it means.”
“Are you sure?” Kade felt his hope slipping.
Monica nodded, then said, “Guess you’re wondering why we’re here?”
Kade arched his brows and waited. It seemed like a rhetorical question.
“Well,” she went on, “I’m going to get married, Kade.” She paused, as if waiting for a response.
Maybe it should have stung. But Kade didn’t feel much of anything.
“But first I need you to sign on the dotted line. I’m sure this doesn’t come as a shock to you.”
She reached into a big, black bag and pulled out a hefty stack of legal papers bound by a clasp at the top. “Feel free to read through them, but it’s a replica of the papers you drew up a while back. A copy had already landed on my attorney’s desk when you decided not to follow through with the divorce.” She crinkled her forehead. “I never understood why you didn’t go through with it. Anyway, the sooner you sign them and get them in the mail, the sooner I can get married, settled, and come back for Tyler.”
What? Panic engulfed Kade. Surely not.
“I couldn’t wait three months for you to get home to Los Angeles, so I packed up as much as I could for Tyler and brought it with me. It’s time for you to be a father.” Her scalding eyes challenged him to a duel. Well, it was about to be on.
“What?” It was all Kade could muster up.
“Don’t look at me like that. I gave up my life to take care of Tyler while you were off building skyscrapers. It’s your turn for a while.”
Kade narrowed his eyes and inched toward her, towering over her on the couch. “Those skyscrapers provided you with a very nice lifestyle.” He glanced over his shoulder at Tyler and lowered his voice to a whisper. “I don’t know what you’re thinking. You can’t leave him here. I mean, I love my son, but—”
“Love him? You don’t even know him!” Monica didn’t bother to keep her voice down. The familiarity of her sharp, shrill tone sent a chill up his spine. “I’m going, Kade. And that’s all there is to it.” She bolted from the couch and headed toward the front door. She turned around as she reached for the knob. “So, you can either help me with his things, or I’ll get it all myself.”
Kade laughed, despite himself. This co
uldn’t be happening. Mothers don’t do this sort of thing. “This is ridiculous,” he said. He followed her to the door. “If you needed a vacation, or some time to get married, or whatever . . . you could have called me so I could make arrangements.”
She stepped outside the door and waited for Kade to join her on the front porch. “Arrangements?” She was yelling now. “I tried plenty of times to make arrangements with you in the past, and it never fit into your schedule, and . . .”
Kade waved his hand in front of her, trying to shush her, and was suddenly reminded of Sadie. He dropped his hand to his side. “That’s bull. And you know it. You never wanted to work with my schedule. You intentionally made it difficult for me to spend time with Tyler. You went all the way to North Carolina to ensure it.” Kade didn’t shut the front door all the way, and he glanced into the den. “Is he okay in there by himself?”
“He’s fine.”
Kade left the door ajar anyway.
Monica marched to the black Lexus and popped the trunk. Kade followed.
“My family is in North Carolina,” she said. “And I wanted to be near them. You had plenty of opportunities to spend more time with Tyler, and you chose not to.”
“Don’t even bother taking out any of those things.” He pointed to the suitcases piled in the back. “I’ll get you a hotel room, and we’ll figure out what to do in the morning.” Kade chuckled in disbelief. “But there is no way you can just show up here and drop off Tyler like this.”
One by one, she pulled suitcases out of the trunk and set them on the ground. “I suggest you get these into the house before the snow gets everything all wet.”
Monica had that look in her eyes. The look she had the day she took Tyler and left. There was no talking her out of it. But he was darn sure going to try. “Monica, what kind of mother abandons her child like this? Maybe you’re just having a rough time right now. And with a little notice, I’d be glad to help out with Tyler.”
She practically threw the last suitcase at him, a small, red one. Then slammed the trunk. “Abandoning? Do you want to talk to me about abandoning? You are the one who abandoned your son, and now you can make things right!”
“You left me, Monica! I did not leave you. When I said I’d love and cherish you forever, I meant it.”
“You are not going to make me feel guilty about this. You are not!” She stormed up to the cottage. Kade was on her heels.
“You’ve done some crazy things, Monica. But you can’t leave Tyler here. I don’t know the first thing about taking care of him.” She twisted her head around as she walked up the porch steps. “Well, I guess you’re going to learn.”
Without missing a beat, she went to the couch and retrieved the big, black bag she had carried in on her shoulder. She reached inside and pulled out a thick, black binder and dropped it on the couch beside the divorce papers.
“That is your Bible, Kade. Read it. It will tell you everything you need to know about Tyler, about his schedule, and everything I have learned about having an autistic child. Tyler is considered high-functioning, compared to some of the children in his class who don’t speak at all and who can’t do simple things, like feed themselves or go to the bathroom on their own.”
Kade ran his hands through his hair, exhaled loudly, and said, “I’m sorry, Monica. You can’t leave him here. I want to be a part of his life. I always have. But you can’t just show up here and do this.”
She squatted down beside Tyler, who seemed oblivious to the commotion around him. Cupping his cheeks in her hands, she was crying. “Mommy loves Tyler.”
He smiled. “Mommy loves Tyler.”
Kade watched in horror. How she could leave a child that she had raised since birth? He knew it was hypocritical, but the thought still surfaced. Second, if she really did walk out that door, what in the world was he going to do?
Monica threw her arms around Tyler. “Mommy loves Tyler soooo much.”
“Mommy loves Tyler soooo much.”
And with that, she ran out of the cottage. Kade was right behind her and grabbed her arm before she reached her car.
“Let go of me!” There was the hysteria he had heard so many times on the phone. “I have to go! I have to, Kade! Don’t make this any harder on me! Do you understand me? I have to go!” She wriggled out of his grasp, and tears streamed down her cheeks. “Read the book. Keep him on schedule.”
“Monica,” Kade breathed in desperation. He glanced back and forth between her and the cottage. “You can’t be serious!”
She slid into the front seat and rolled down the window. “I’ll be back for Tyler when we get settled.”
“You can’t drop him off like this, Monica, with no warning. You have no idea what my schedule is!”
“Oh, I know exactly what your schedule is! You’re taking some sort of hiatus from life. You should fire your secretary. All I had to do is get a girlfriend to call your office, and the woman pretty much spilled your entire life story to my friend.” Her face twisted with rage. “So you know what, Kade? You can enjoy your little vacation and get to know your son! I need this time for me! Do you understand me? So, don’t make me feel guilty! Don’t you know—”
Kade wasn’t hearing her. There was something about her hysterical tone . . .
He began to plead with her again not to do this.
She was still yelling when she rolled up the window.
As she turned the car around and headed toward Black Horse Road, Kade thought about her words. I’ll be back when we get settled. Kade wondered if she would come back.
Sadie pulled into her driveway, relieved that she’d be able to get out of the cold. She should have worn her heavy coat. The sunshine and rise in temperature had been misleading. Once on the road to market, her black cape had been no defense against the biting wind.
“Whoa,” she instructed Buck, glad the horse no longer lived up to his name.
She made several trips to the kitchen, unloading her bags.
Now she would sort out Kade’s groceries and prepare herself for a trip to the cottage. Perhaps he had ventured out to repair his tires now that the weather had improved. But no. His car was in the barn.
She separated Kade’s items and began to put her groceries in their proper place, then realized she forgot to check the mail. Without stopping to wrap up, she walked out of the kitchen door and hurried to the mailbox at the end of the driveway.
Nothing. Disappointment tugged at her heart, but she reminded herself that today was Tuesday. Tonight Milo would call, just as he had since they’d set up the weekly phone schedule two years ago, shortly after they began writing letters. The thought lifted her spirit as she headed back into the house.
She redressed in her bonnet, cape, and boots, which not only protected her from the weather, but also from Kade’s curious eyes. More than once, she’d caught him staring at her, which made her uncomfortable.
Perhaps Jonas and the elders had been right. How much did she really know about the fancy Englischer? Was she really safe out here alone with him? But then she recalled the way he handled Jonas. Sadie didn’t think he was dangerous or bad.
Kade’s groceries fit in three small plastic bags that she draped over one arm. She pulled the full container of tapioca pudding from the refrigerator and balanced it against her chest. She planned to unpack his things quickly, then scurry back home.
But she’d only taken two or three steps toward the cottage when she heard screams. Continuous shrill hollering, like she’d never heard the likes of before. She stopped walking, stared at the cottage, and listened. Sounded like a child. She turned toward the barn where she could use the phone. In her community, they tried to keep the Englisch police out of their lives if possible, but something bad was going on inside that cottage.
She quickly shuffled across the snow with the grocery bags and pudding. Then she stopped and looked toward her shop up near the road. Mary Ellen and Rebecca’s buggies were parked outside. Couldn’t they hear this ch
ild crying for help? She decided they couldn’t, and she continued on her trek. But then the shrieks grew louder and louder.
There’s no time. She set the food down in the snow and ran toward the cottage instead. With courage she didn’t know she possessed, she sprinted up the porch steps and flung the door open. She stood in the entryway, her heart racing. Kade was squatting down beside a small boy in front of the fireplace, begging him to please stop hitting his head on the floor. He looked up at Sadie with fearful, desperate eyes.
“Please help me.” He attempted to wrap his arms around the boy, who pulled away and continued bumping his head against the carpeted floor.
Sadie grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and ran to their side. She squatted down beside Kade and placed the pillow underneath the child’s forehead. At least the pillow would soften the blows to the boy’s head.
“I’ve tried picking him up, but he bit me,” Kade said. He held up his left arm, pushed back his sweatshirt, and revealed a prominent set of teeth marks on his forearm. “I don’t know what to do. He’s never done anything like this. He’s hurting himself, and I don’t know how to make him stop, and . . .”
Kade’s voice trailed, and his eyes begged her for an answer she didn’t have.
“Who is he?” she asked.
“My son.” He reached out to touch the boy’s head, only to have the child scream even louder.
“Your son?” She narrowed her brows at him. “Have you done something to this child, to make him act this way? Have you hurt him?”
She wished she’d never said it. Kade sat there staring at her in disbelief, his face registering torment, and his eyes glassy and wide.
Sadie didn’t wait for him to answer. She had her answer.
“Hello,” she said to the boy, in a voice loud enough to rise above his cries. She leaned closer. “My name is Sadie. What’s your name?”