Her Brother's Keeper Page 20

  Hannah scowled. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  Jacob shrugged again. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

  Hannah wanted to let this go. She was exhausted, but she didn’t need one more thing to worry over. “Are you calling Ethan a liar?”

  “Nee. I said never mind. Maybe now that Mary—I mean Charlotte—is gone, you can date Isaac. He’s always liked you. Everyone can see that. I never did understand why he was taking Mary Charlotte on picnics.” He paused, sighing again. “At least Isaac is a gut man.”

  “Quit doing that, Jacob! If you have something to say about Ethan, just say it.”

  Jacob was quiet.

  “Does it have anything to do with Edna Glick?” Maybe Edna had lied after all, and Jacob knew something Hannah didn’t.

  Jacob scowled. “Huh? Why would you ask about Edna?”

  Hannah told her brother about the picture she’d found and about Edna’s response.

  “Ach, well . . . I doubt she would have told you the truth if they were seeing each other.”

  “If you know something, you must tell me. Why are you talking like Ethan wasn’t a gut man?” Hannah wasn’t sure she could handle one more thing, but it was too late to turn back. “Tell me, Jacob.”

  “I don’t know anything.” Jacob bolted from the chair and went inside.

  Hannah wished she had someone to talk to about Edna, about Jacob . . . She missed her cousin, her friend.

  She rushed into the house and followed Jacob to the top of the stairs. “You have to tell me if you know something,” she said in a whisper, not wanting either of her parents to hear.

  “It doesn’t really matter.”

  Hannah stomped a foot. “It does to me.”

  Jacob put his hands on his hips and stared at the floor, then looked up at her. “I heard him on his cell phone one time, whispering. And I heard him tell someone I love you, baby.”

  Hannah folded her arms across her chest, then grinned. “For your information, Jacob, Ethan used to call me baby quite often. Remember, he used to be Englisch and that’s a common term of endearment.”

  Jacob took off his straw hat and rubbed his forehead. “Ya, well, at the time he said it, you were standing across the room talking to Daed. And you weren’t on any phone at the time.”

  “Ethan loved me!” She didn’t care who heard her as another knot formed in her throat. Edna was her friend. She’d known her for her entire life, and she believed her. Isaac misread what he’d seen. And Ethan could have been talking to anyone. “You just never liked him, Jacob!”

  Hannah was desperate for something to hold on to. She wasn’t sure how she’d survive if Ethan hadn’t loved her. She was confused about who to trust. And the irony was, she wished that Charlotte was here, the person who had lied to Hannah the most, yet ultimately was the only one she trusted to tell her the truth about Ethan.

  She would pray that Charlotte found answers in the book Hannah gave her.

  Ryan stayed with Charlotte’s luggage as she walked with a security guard back to the arrival gate. They wouldn’t let her back on the plane, but the flight attendant said she would go look for the book.

  “I was in seat 26-A. It’s a small brown leather book. It’s very important to me. Thank you so much.”

  “Be back shortly,” the flight attendant said as she disappeared behind the closed door of the tarmac.

  “I cannot believe I’ve lost that book.”

  The young security guard said, “You’d be surprised at all the things people leave on a plane. LeAnn will find it. It’s probably under the seat.”

  “I hope so.”

  The flight attendant—LeAnn—returned about ten minutes later. “I’m sorry. I can’t find anything. I looked under the seats, in the pocket on the back of the seat, but there wasn’t anything there.”

  Charlotte blinked back tears and shook her head.

  “There’s a form you can fill out for lost and found with a place for the description of the item and your address and phone number in case someone turns it in.”

  Charlotte nodded, feeling sick to her stomach. She followed LeAnn to lost and found and scribbled her name and phone number on the form with a description that read: Small brown leather book lost on flight from Pittsburgh to Houston. Sentimental value. Then she remembered that it had a design on the front, so she added: Cover has emblem of Alpha and Omega. She drew the two symbols as best she could.

  Ryan was holding two Starbucks coffees when she got back. “Did you get it?”

  She shook her head. “So, I’ll never know what was going on in Ethan’s head when he killed himself.”

  “Maybe you’re not supposed to know,” Ryan said as he handed her one of the cups. “Vanilla latte with whipped cream, right?”

  “Thank you.” She took a sip. “I feel sick. How could I have left that book on the plane?”

  “Maybe someone will find it and turn it in.”

  Ryan piled the two empty suitcases and her full red one on a rack and they started toward the parking garage. “It’s not worth anything to anyone but me, and I doubt there is an address, phone number, or anything inside. My only hope is that someone turns it in at the airport. I’ll call and check for the next few days. The security guard said there is a lost and found, and he gave me the number.”

  “It was nice of Hannah to give you the diary. Is that what we’re calling it, a diary?”

  Charlotte frowned. “I don’t know for sure what it is.” She grunted a little. “I should have tried to read at least some of it on the plane. I just had such a bad headache, then I fell asleep.”

  “Well, I think if it’s meant to be, someone will find that book and get it back to you.”

  “I guess.” Although, if it didn’t show up, she would wonder for the rest of her life what was written in that book.

  Hannah and Jacob sat quietly on the couch in the living room, waiting on their parents to come out of their bedroom. Their father had called a family meeting. It had been a week since Charlotte left, and Hannah presumed this meeting would be about the importance of forgiveness. But Hannah and Jacob had been waiting for a half hour, and they could hear muffled voices coming from their parents’ bedroom.

  “You think this is about Charlotte?” Jacob leaned back against the couch, then yawned.

  “Maybe it’s about you sneaking out at night to go see Annie.”

  Jacob stiffened as he leaned forward. “Do you think they know?”

  Hannah shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “How’d you know, about Annie?”

  Hannah tipped her head to one side as she folded her arms across her chest. “Because you’re noisy, and the third stair creaks. I can’t believe you haven’t gotten caught before now, but I’m not sure that’s what this meeting is about.”

  The bedroom door opened, so they both turned their attention to their parents. Usually, their father led these family meetings, but their mother cleared her throat.

  “I know that we are all still upset about Mar—I mean Charlotte. It will take us some time to recover since we all grew to care about her very much. So, I ask you to keep your heart open to forgiveness. But I’m afraid I have some other news to share, some news I received from my doctor yesterday.”

  Hannah had noticed that her mother was very quiet the day before, but she didn’t think that much of it. “Mamm, what’s wrong?”

  Their mother took a deep breath. “I have breast cancer.” She squeezed her eyes closed, but held a palm toward Hannah and Jacob. “And before you get upset, let me just say that the doctor said my chances of beating this are very gut.”

  Hannah thought about Isaac’s father, how he’d been in remission for a while now. But she remembered how sick he’d been from all of the chemotherapy and radiation. “Will you have to have chemotherapy?” Hannah bit her bottom lip and tried to keep her breathing steady. She wanted to be strong for her mother.

  “Ya, I will. The doctor called my cancer a stage t
hree, so I will travel to Houston where they have a hospital called MD Anderson. He says it’s the best and they have something called clinical trials that I might want to see about. Just in case I need that.”

  Hannah looked back and forth between her father and Jacob. Her brother’s lip trembled. “That’s where Charlotte lives,” Hannah said. “I saw her address on her driving license.” Hannah had actually copied the address down.

  “I know, but not a concern one way or the other. I will speak with some of the women here to see if they can help with things while I am away. And of course, we know they will. I’m sure there will be plenty of meals brought over and help with whatever else you all need.”

  Hannah wasn’t worried about the increase in chores. She was worried about her mother. And to her knowledge, her mother had never been out of Pennsylvania, except for their one trip to Ohio to visit family. “Mamm, I should go with you.” She glanced at her father. “Or Daed should.”

  Her mother shook her head. “Nee. Your father needs to work, and Hannah, even with help from others, you will still have your hands full with washing, sewing, keeping the house clean, and taking care of my goats. I don’t want to worry about my family while I am away.”

  “How long will you be gone?” Hannah was wondering why there seemed to be a string of upsets in her life, one thing after the other. The only recent good thing had been the time she’d spent with Isaac this past week, and she could see things moving in a positive direction, even though she was approaching any opportunity at romance with caution.

  “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”

  Despite her confident and steady voice, Hannah knew this was well-rehearsed in an effort not to scare her and Jacob. Hannah knew stage three wasn’t the worst, but it wasn’t good either. She remembered that Isaac’s father was a stage three when he was diagnosed. Even though his cancer had been rare, he ended up with a fake leg. She could see the fear in her mother’s eyes, and even more frightening—in her father’s.

  Isaac listened to Hannah for over an hour, barely getting in a word. And that was just fine with him. He could watch and listen to her all day long and never tire of it. Being with Hannah was so different than the time he’d spent with Mary Charlotte—that’s what they were calling her now since no one felt comfortable calling her just Charlotte—because they enjoyed the same things. Normally Hannah flinched at the mention of Mary Charlotte. Today their former friend was the topic of conversation.

  “So, what do you think? Should I write Mary Charlotte a letter about Mamm?” Hannah reached for a slice of pepperoni pizza on the table between them. Isaac wanted to start new traditions with Hannah, so instead of a picnic, this was their second time eating at Predisio’s Pizzeria. It was a favorite for both of them, and they’d chosen a booth in the back of the restaurant to call their own.

  “When Mary Charlotte and I were, uh . . .” Isaac paused, searching Hannah’s eyes for a reaction. “Dating.” He stopped and locked eyes with her. “Does it bother you for me to say that? I mean we weren’t really dating. It was more like friends.”

  “Oh, sure,” Hannah said, grinning as she took a bite.

  He smiled back at her. “Anyway, when I was spending time with my gut friend Mary Charlotte, she asked a lot of questions about God, and at the time, I thought it was weird. Then I found out she wasn’t baptized into our faith until she was nineteen, so that explained a lot.”

  “But she wasn’t baptized into our faith.”

  “Ya, I know that now, but back then, she seemed to be searching for something. She was kind of lost. I guess her bruder’s death was still heavy on her heart.” The moment he said it, Isaac wondered about Hannah, if Ethan was still heavy on her heart. But she didn’t say anything. Instead, she took a big bite of pizza. They hadn’t talked about Ethan in a while. Hannah completely believed Edna’s tale about the picture, so Isaac went along with her, even though he knew what he saw was more than an affectionate gesture for a job well done.

  “Mei daed had his cancer treatments in Philadelphia. Why can’t your mamm do that?”

  “I’m not sure. She said her doctor was sending her to a special hospital in Houston. I’m just worried. Mamm has only been on a plane one time to go to Ohio, and I don’t think she’s ever even stayed in a hotel. I haven’t either. When we went to visit cousins . . . cousins in Ohio, we stayed at their haus.”

  “You miss her, don’t you?” Isaac was reading between the lines.

  She set her slice of pizza down. “I don’t miss Charlotte. I miss Mary. Or the person I thought to be Mary.”

  Isaac swallowed, wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I read in an Englisch book one time that some people are in our lives for a season, some forever. I think God had a plan for you and Mary Charlotte. As for me and Mary Charlotte, she was interested in getting information about Ethan. What I wanted to know from her is if you were ready to move on with your life without Ethan. But there was never anything more than friendship there, for either one of us. But to answer your question, I think you should write her. You need to for yourself, and I think Mary Charlotte would take care of your mother while she was in Houston. Do you think your mamm could see past everything that happened to let Charlotte help her?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe. It’s mei father who might forbid it.”

  “If it helped your mudder, I think he might allow it.”

  “I think Daed should go with her, but Mamm said she doesn’t want them to have to take any more than they need out of the community health fund. They want to pay as much as they can on their own, so she wants Daed to continue to build furniture and keep things running here. And Jacob has been sneaking out to see Annie. I think Mamm knows and is looking the other way. I don’t know about Daed. I don’t think they want to leave Jacob with just me.”

  It was late in the evening when Hannah finally decided to write Charlotte. She wasn’t even sure if she would mail the letter, but she hoped it would make her feel better. She’d cried herself to sleep the past two nights, worried about her mother. She didn’t see how their family could function without her. Surely, God wouldn’t take away someone else she loved.

  Hannah opened the bottom drawer of her dresser where she kept books, and she took out her dictionary. Charlotte was obviously educated, and Hannah didn’t want her eighth-grade education to stick out too much if she could help it.

  Dear Charlotte,

  It is a strange feeling for me to call you by this name, when to me you are still Mary, our cousin from Beeville. I wish that I could write to you and say that our feelings are no longer sad, but that would be a lie. My heart hurts, and I wish that the Mary who was my friend and cousin were back. I know by your tears that you are sad, too, and I must thank you again for telling me about the butterflies in the clouds. I will always miss Ethan, but I have been spending a lot of time with Isaac.

  I want to tell you that I had a visit with Edna Glick. She did not have a romantic time with Ethan. It is a bit much to write here, but I know Edna is telling the truth.

  She tapped the pencil to her chin, knowing that she could never be positive that Edna was telling the truth, but she had to believe that Ethan was when he said he loved her.

  My cause for writing you today is that I must ask a favor. Even though there have been many lies between us, my family did grow to love you. Mamm has cancer. It is the bad kind in the third stage. She will be going to Houston sometime in the days or weeks coming, and maybe it will be in your heart to visit her or maybe give her a ride to or from the airport. She is going to be afraid since she has only been out of our state one time, and she has never traveled on her own. If you do not want to do this, do not worry. If you do, please write me back.

  Sending you blessings,

  Hannah

  She reread the letter, then put it in an oversize envelope, along with the potholders and the recipe box.

  Nineteen

  Ryan eased down on the couch beside Charlotte, following a
Weight Watchers’ version of meat loaf she’d cooked for them. It wasn’t nearly as tasty as what Lena used to make, but Charlotte’s scale in her bathroom was no longer her friend, and she was trying to undo some of the damage she’d done feasting on the food in Amish Country. Even though she missed the food, and especially the bread, she missed her family the most.

  “I got this in the mail today.” She handed Ryan the letter she’d received from Hannah. “I read it about a dozen times.” After he’d had time to read it, she showed him the potholders and recipe box, explaining the significance of each.

  Ryan had been over to visit every night since Charlotte got back, and things were definitely moving in the direction of an official relationship.

  “I know both of these items mean a lot to you,” he said as he handed the box and potholders back to her. “And I caught the part about Hannah hooking up with your ex-boyfriend.”

  “He was never my boyfriend.” She nudged him with her elbow.

  He handed the letter back to her. “I’m glad she seems to be finding some happiness with Isaac, after everything with Ethan and all. I know you’re glad she reached out to you, but that’s awful about her mother.”

  “I know.” She read the part about the cancer again. “I have an editing project to finish up tomorrow morning, then I’m going to write her back. I’m wondering if Lena knows that Hannah wrote to me. I’d like to offer for Lena to stay here during her treatments. My schedule is flexible enough to work around her appointments, give her rides, or whatever else she needs.”

  “That’s a big job, caring for someone going through chemo. You sure you’re up for that? I’ll help you any way I can.”

  Charlotte leaned her head on his shoulder. “Aw. I know you would.” After a few moments, she eased away a little and turned to face him. “I’m going to make the offer for all of that, but not because I’m trying to make up for all the lies.” She cringed. “Okay, well, maybe that’s part of it. But Lena was more like a mother to me during those weeks than my own mother ever was. I want to help their family if I can. Ethan would want me to.”