An Amish Cradle Page 2

  “I’m sure Bethany’s baby had all that stuff done too. It’s routine.” Levi continued to gently rock Joshua, not taking his eyes off of him, while they waited in Dr. Prescott’s office. Ruth Anne looked at the clock on the wall. They’d been waiting for almost thirty minutes. She jumped a little when the door opened.

  Dr. Prescott was young. The woman must have had to go through lots of schooling to be a doctor, but Ruth Anne didn’t think she looked old enough for that.

  “Hey, you guys,” she said as she walked around her desk and sat down. She even talks like a young person. Ruth Anne scanned the doctor’s desk. On the desk sat a wedding picture of Dr. Prescott and her husband, lots of file folders, and a stack of books on the doctor’s left. “Sorry it took so long.” She opened a folder. Smiling, she said, “What a beautiful boy Joshua is. Isn’t he just amazing?”

  “Ya. He is.” Ruth Anne glanced at her baby in his father’s arms, then back at the doctor. “Is he of gut health?” The doctor had examined Joshua earlier for what seemed like a long time. Then they’d been asked to wait in her office until she finished with another patient.

  Dr. Prescott opened her mouth to speak, but pressed her lips together when the door opened and an older man walked in. He was slightly hunched over, with gray hair and gold-rimmed glasses, and wearing a white coat.

  Dr. Prescott nodded toward the man. “Ruth Anne and Levi, this is Dr. Calhoun. I’ve invited him to join us.”

  When the doctor offered his hand, Ruth Anne shook it. The older man gave Levi time to shift Joshua into the nook of his left arm, and they shook hands as well.

  “Listen, guys.” Dr. Prescott sat taller and folded her hands on her desk. “I’ve brought Dr. Calhoun in so that he can talk to you about a condition we believe your son has.”

  Ruth Anne swallowed back a lump in her throat, but quickly thought about the power of prayer. She’d prayed away problems, ailments, worries, and the like her entire life. She held her breath. Please, God. Don’t let it be bad. Please, God. Please, God. Please. Don’t let anything be wrong with our baby. Ruth Anne looked at her husband, sure he wasn’t breathing either, but a glance at Joshua let her know that even if they weren’t, their son was breathing just fine.

  “Have either of you heard of Down’s syndrome?” Dr. Calhoun took a step farther into the room, but he remained standing despite the fact that there was another chair against the wall. Ruth Anne shook her head, then looked at Levi. Her husband blinked back tears.

  “Don’t tell me our Joshua has Down’s syndrome,” he said as he shook his head. “He doesn’t. I know he doesn’t. I’ve seen kinner with Down’s syndrome. Their faces look different. Our Joshua looks just fine.” He lifted the baby a little bit. “Look at him. He looks like a normal baby.”

  Ruth Anne felt light-headed. She’d never heard of this Down’s disease, but it was scaring her the way Joshua was reacting. “Can you tell us what this is? This disease?”

  “It’s not really a disease. It’s a syndrome, and I know this is a lot to handle for anyone, to get word of this about your child. Especially since you are both young and first-time parents.” Dr. Calhoun pulled the chair closer to Ruth Anne. Maybe he sensed that she might keel over. He sat down, put his hands on his knees, and focused on Ruth Anne since Levi was scowling and wouldn’t even look at him.

  “How sick is he?” Ruth Anne wished her mother were here holding her hand. Mamm had offered to come, but Ruth Anne was trying to be a grown-up, so she’d declined. She’d only been married to Levi for a year, and while he’d been very nurturing throughout her pregnancy, right now he was trembling and just staring at Joshua. But they were both nineteen. Mature adults.

  Levi glared at the doctor. “He doesn’t have it. My third cousin had Down’s syndrome and this isn’t it.” He looked at his son again.

  “Doesn’t have what? I don’t understand what this is. Will he be all right?” Ruth Anne’s voice was cracking, and the woozy feeling in her head was getting worse. “Is there medicine for it?”

  Dr. Prescott cleared her throat. “Ruth Anne, like Dr. Calhoun said, it isn’t really a disease. When a person has a full or partial extra copy of a certain chromosome, chromosome 21, it can genetically alter development, and we call this Down’s syndrome.” She paused, but Ruth Anne still didn’t have a clue what she was talking about or what was wrong with her baby. “Your midwife noticed the gap between Joshua’s big toes and second toes. This is a clue that a child could have this syndrome.”

  “So, do we fix his feet? I don’t think it looks bad, but if it will help him to walk or—”

  “It’s not just his feet, Ruthie!” Levi’s face was red, his bottom lip trembling. “It’s . . . it’s . . .” He finally lowered his head after his eyes teared up. “Explain it to her.”

  Ruth Anne started to cry. “I’m scared. What does this mean?”

  “Honey, I know you’re upset,” Dr. Prescott said. “I brought in Dr. Calhoun because his office is in this building, and I wanted to be sure before I told you. This condition has all kinds of physical distinctions, and some won’t become apparent until little Joshua gets a bit older. But he does already have some of the common traits.” She nodded toward their baby. “Do you see how his eyes have an upward and outward slant?”

  Ruth Anne swiped at her eyes, then leaned closer to her son. “My aunt has eyes kind of like that.” She shrugged. “We can live with that.”

  Dr. Prescott turned to a computer that was on the desk in front of her and began to type. After a few moments, she turned the screen so that Ruth Anne and Levi could see it along with her. “Here are some varying degrees of Down’s syndrome. See how the mouth is small and the lips are thin in this picture?” She pointed to another one. “The head is a bit smaller than average sometimes, and the ears are lower set. The arms and legs are—”

  Ruth Anne sobbed, waiting for Levi to offer comfort, but he just sat staring at Joshua. Then he started to cry also. She touched his arm. “But we will love him no matter what.” She looked at Dr. Prescott and spoke in a shaky voice. “We already love him more than life. He is perfect.”

  Dr. Prescott reached over and put her hand on Ruth Anne’s. “Of course you love him. And I have always believed that God chooses special people to raise special children. It isn’t what any parent expects, but every child is a blessing.”

  Ruth Anne couldn’t catch her breath. “What . . . what . . . do we . . .” She raised her shoulders and dropped them slowly.

  Dr. Calhoun handed her a box of Kleenex. “We need to run a series of tests. Babies with Down’s syndrome are at high risk for other medical conditions, and we need to rule those out.” He handed Ruth Anne a card. “Dr. Prescott said her initial exam of Joshua didn’t indicate anything that is urgent, and he is breathing well on his own. But I’d like to see him next week. You can call the number on the card. Ask for Kayla. She’ll be expecting your call and will make sure to fit you in.”

  “I love him. I don’t care if he looks a little different.” Ruth Anne scanned the faces on the computer screen, and most of them were cute in their own way. “Look how adorable some of those children are. And we are simple people. Plain people. Our looks don’t rule our lives like—” She stopped herself before saying, “Like the Englisch.”

  “Awe, sweetie. Of course you will love him no matter what. He is precious.” Dr. Prescott closed her computer and pushed it aside. “And I know you said you felt badly because you couldn’t get Joshua to latch on. That’s very common with Down’s babies. So don’t feel guilty about it, okay?”

  Ruth Anne wished she could bring Joshua back to Dr. Prescott instead of the older man. Her mind was awhirl with thoughts, questions, and fears. She wasn’t sure what to ask, so she just nodded.

  Levi had stopped crying, but he wouldn’t look at anyone. After a few moments, he stood up and looked back and forth between the two doctors. They all waited for him to say something. Looking out the window, Ruth Anne could see dark clouds rolling in and that it had begun to rain. She was glad her parents had hired a driver since Lancaster was a bit too far to go by buggy. Besides, she couldn’t have managed all the jostling of a buggy ride just yet, and August in Lancaster County was still too warm to be carting around a newborn.

  On shaky legs, Ruth Anne stood up. As best she could, she thanked the doctors, then extended her arms so that Levi could hand her Joshua. She waited as her husband leaned down and kissed Joshua gently on the forehead. Then he handed their son to her and walked out of the room.

  “He just needs time to process this information,” Dr. Calhoun said as thunder boomed in the background.

  Dr. Prescott opened the drawer of her desk, then handed Ruth Anne another card. “This is a local support group. After Dr. Calhoun finishes testing and things settle down, you might want to call that number. Everyone in the group is raising at least one child with Down’s syndrome.”

  Ruth Anne swallowed hard as she pulled Joshua closer to her. After a few moments, she eased him into the baby carrier, fearful of dropping him. Her legs were shaking, her lip trembling. “I have to go find Levi,” she said as she leaned down to grab the carrier.

  “I’m going that way. Let me carry that for you. I doubt you need to be lifting anything so soon.” Dr. Calhoun lifted the carrier, and together they left the office and headed toward the exit. Ruth Anne still thought she might pass out. But she didn’t have that luxury. She had a baby to care for. In the distance, she saw Levi standing underneath the awning, staring out into the darkness of the storm, and she tried to picture a future that neither of them saw coming.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The next morning Levi got ready for work earlier than normal, even though he’d already gotten permission to be off for a few days. He’d heard Ruth
Anne getting up and down every few hours, heating bottles, changing diapers, and comforting their son when he cried. It was a tiny cry, and to Levi, he seemed to be struggling to make the sound. A better man would have let his wife rest and handled things during the night, but instead, he’d lay sleepless, pretending to be in a sound slumber. He knew that his mother-in-law would be over this morning, as would some of the other women, each bringing meals and wanting to see the new baby.

  He put on his straw hat and was almost out the door when Ruth Anne called his name. He turned around.

  “Ya? Are you okay?”

  She nodded but didn’t say anything. She shuffled toward him, barefoot in her white nightgown, her dark hair tousled and circles under her eyes. “I just wanted to make sure you are okay. I thought you were going to take a few days off from work.”

  He hung his head, sighed, then looked back at her. She was always thinking about everyone else. “Ya. I-I’m fine,” he stammered. “I’m going to check in at work, that’s all. Just make sure everything is okay. Jake’s been real gut to me, so if he needs me, I figure I can work a few hours each day. I know you’ll be having lots of company.”

  She took a couple of steps toward him. “But we talked about this. We planned it all out, that you would stay home with me and the baby. You said—”

  “I know, Ruthie, but I have responsibilities.” He scratched his cheek as he recalled all the conversations they’d had. “I gotta go.”

  He gave a quick wave, then turned and closed the door behind him. By the time he crossed Lincoln Highway in his buggy, it had started to rain again. Not as hard as the previous night, but it was coming into the buggy from the north and pelting against the side, enough that he was soaking wet by the time he got to the bishop’s house. He’d considered talking to his father, but they’d never been close, and such a heartfelt conversation would seem strange. Levi and his brothers might as well have been raised solely by their mother. She’d done everything. And Levi had promised himself a long time ago that he would be involved in his children’s upbringing.

  He’d also considered talking to his mother, but he assumed she would be by to visit Ruth Anne and the baby later, and Levi felt the need for some fatherly advice. Bishop Lantz had been the bishop of their community since before Levi was born. He was a wise man, someone Levi respected and trusted. And Levi sensed that the man would have a better understanding than most, due to his own handicap. He was sure that word was out by now about Joshua. Ruth Anne had tearfully called her mother from a cell phone they kept for emergencies.

  Susanna Lantz walked onto the front porch, the screen door slamming behind her. The older woman had a towel in one hand. She waited until Levi had tethered his horse and was trotting toward the house before she called out to him.

  “We were going to pay you a visit within the week. We’re so anxious to meet little Joshua.” She smiled as Levi hurried up the steps to the covered porch. Susanna passed him the towel, then put her hands on her plentiful hips, smiling broadly. “Congratulations, dear.”

  Levi wiped his face, his arms, and then his hands. “Danki. The rain was coming sideways into the buggy, and the drop-down window cover on my side ripped while I was pulling it down.” He dabbed at his pants and shirt as best he could. “I don’t want to drip on your floors.”

  Susanna chuckled. “It wouldn’t be the first time, young Levi. Now you come in here for some iced tea and a slice of cinnamon raisin bread I just pulled from the oven.” She motioned for Levi to follow her. “Are you here to see John?” she asked over her shoulder.

  “Ya. If he has time to talk with me.” Levi crossed the threshold and followed the bishop’s wife into the living room. “Do you . . . do you know . . .” He didn’t want to say it. “That our Joshua is, uh . . .”

  Susanna pointed to a rocking chair in the corner, then winked at Levi as she nodded. “Challenged is the word I think you’re looking for. How special you and Ruth Anne are for God to have chosen you both for this unexpected role.” She smiled. “Very blessed indeed.” She pointed toward the corner again. “Now, you sit. I will find John, then get you both some warm bread while you chat.”

  Susanna scurried in her bare feet out of the living room, and Levi sat down in the rocking chair. He put his hat in his lap. Dr. Prescott also had said God chose special people. Levi didn’t think that was the right word to describe how he was feeling. He’d spent the entire night calculating all the bad things he’d ever done in his life and wondering if they warranted this kind of punishment.

  Bishop Lantz walked into the room wearing the black glasses he always wore, although he wasn’t carrying the cane he usually had with him. Levi suspected he knew his way around his own house well enough not to need it. He walked toward the rocking chair and extended his hand. Levi started to stand up, but the bishop quickly said, “Keep your seat, sohn.” Then he sat in a nearby tan recliner and stroked his gray beard. “I’ve had to smell that cinnamon raisin bread for the past hour. I sure hope Suzie is bringing us a slice.”

  Levi tried to smile. “It does smell real gut. She said she was bringing us some.” Although he didn’t have much of an appetite.

  “It needs to cool a bit before I slice into it,” Susanna hollered from the kitchen. A moment later she poked her head in. “So I’m going to fold some clothes that I luckily got down from the line before this rain started. You boys talk, and I’ll be back with your snack later.”

  Susanna’s eyes were always twinkling, and she didn’t seem to have a worry in the world. But it couldn’t have been easy for her, taking care of a husband who was blind.

  “Tell me about your new son.” Bishop Lantz lifted his chin and kept his black sunglasses directed at Levi. He grinned. “I always wanted one of those—a son. But after our fifth girl, we figured a son wasn’t in our future.” He paused, still smiling. “I bet your family is happy to have a boy.” He pointed a finger at Levi, and Levi braced himself for what might be coming. Bishop Lantz leaned closer to Levi and spoke in a whisper. “I think the Lord is intentionally gifting the world with more girls. Eventually they are going to just take over.”

  “I heard that,” Susanna said as she walked past them with a basket of laundry. “Sorry to interrupt. But keep in mind that you are the bishop in this community, so don’t fill the boy’s mind with silliness.” She winked at Levi again, then closed a bedroom door behind her. Levi loved the bishop and his wife.

  “Our Joshua has Down’s syndrome.” Levi needed someone to understand how he was feeling, and he’d been spending too much time crying quietly in the bathroom since leaving Dr. Prescott’s office. He didn’t want to show weakness in front of Ruth Anne. It was his job to take care of his family. He wanted Bishop Lantz to tell him that everything would be okay, that he wasn’t being punished, and that his worries would subside. Fear was suffocating him.

  “It’s going to be a hard road, Levi, and some will say that you and Ruth Anne have been chosen to raise a special child.”

  Levi nodded but realized Bishop Lantz couldn’t see him, so he said, “Ya. We’ve been told that.”

  The bishop was quiet for a few moments. Then he ran a hand down his long beard again. “All children are special, Levi. And I sense that you have come to me for several reasons.” He smiled. “One, because I’m the bishop. And two, because I am blind.”

  Levi could feel himself blushing and was glad Bishop Lantz couldn’t see it. He sighed, but the bishop went on before Levi had a chance to say anything.

  “And sometimes I’m at a disadvantage, but I never one time heard my mother say that I was sick, and she didn’t treat me any different from the other kinner. I had to clean my room and do chores just like everyone else in the household. My father was the same way. I worked with him in the fields as soon as I was of age. He didn’t cut me any slack either.”

  “I’m fearful, Bishop Lantz, and I know that’s a sin.”

  The bishop sighed as he leaned against the back of the couch. “My advice to you, Levi, is to set the standard by which you want your son treated by others in the community. If you want to treat him like he is different, then others will too. And it’s understandable to have fear and worry. You are blessed to be raising him here, in a place where judgment is limited, where pride and vanity have no place. God sees your fears, and He will lead you and Ruth Anne in the right direction. Does this help?”