Love Bears All Things Page 17

  It took Daniel a few moments to connect the phrase “come up dry” with what they were talking about. “Ya, okay. It’s a nice house. I’m sure it will sell soon.”

  “Actually, I entertained the idea of keeping it, maybe renting it out or keeping it as a vacation place before I decided to move here. That might sound weird since that’s where Ethan died, but I feel a sense of Ethan inside the house—not in a creepy way or anything. The only thing that bothers me is that tree.”

  Daniel knew which tree she meant.

  “I hate that tree,” she said softly. “But I like the house and the location. It was Ethan’s last home, and it’s really all I have left of him. Hannah has a few things in storage that were Ethan’s, but otherwise . . .”

  He should let her get some sleep. Or finish stuffing herself with ice cream until she felt better.

  “I had Isaac paint all the walls white, beadboard and all. But if I were keeping it, I’d leave the beadboard that goes halfway up the walls white, then paint soft, light colors in the other rooms. I’d keep that claw-foot tub too. But I need to sell it, so hopefully the right person will come along. Probably Amish since there isn’t any electricity. Either way, I prayed for peace and happiness to whoever ends up in the house.”

  Daniel told her they probably both needed to get some sleep, and she agreed. He didn’t want to worry her about the other things he’d found in that trash bag. It was enough for her to know that he believed someone was staying in the house at night.

  Fourteen

  Jacob sat with his mother, father, and Hannah around the kitchen table after breakfast Monday morning. It was pouring rain outside, so no one was in a hurry to do much of anything, although his mother would tend to her goats soon, no matter the weather. Charlotte had gone upstairs after breakfast and said she needed to work. Jacob cleared his throat, deciding there was never going to be a good time to tell them his plans.

  His father lifted his eyes above the copy of die Botschaft he was reading and peered at Jacob through his reading glasses. Jacob’s mother and Hannah were making out a grocery list and didn’t look his way until he cleared his throat again.

  “I have something to talk to you all about,” he said once he had their full attention, his foot tapping under the table like it had a mind of its own. Charlotte’s dog had finally stopped barking at him, but Buddy was never far from Daed, sharing space near Jacob’s foot under the table. He drew in a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for the backlash that was sure to come. “I sold my telescope for almost as much money as I paid for it.”

  His father lowered the newspaper and glanced at his mother before turning back to Jacob. “Why?”

  Daed, always a man of few words, Jacob thought as he tried to recall the speech he’d planned.

  Hannah leaned back in her chair and huffed. “Because he needs the money to leave.” She glared at Jacob, then almost hissed as she went on. “He’s leaving us . . . again.”

  “Is this true, Jacob?” Daed stroked the length of his beard, frowning.

  Jacob nodded, then looked at Hannah. “Annie doesn’t want to be with me.”

  His sister pointed a finger at him. “She used to. She wanted to marry you. But I’m sure Annie doesn’t want to leave here, and she knows you do. You’re making a mistake, Jacob!”

  “You can’t tell me that, Hannah. I’m not baptized. This is my rumschpringe, and I have a right to live my life however I see fit. That’s why we have a running-around period, remember?” Jacob’s voice grew louder. This was hard enough without having Hannah spew ugliness in his direction. “It’s not your choice!”

  Hannah’s face turned red and her eyes watered. “You don’t know what you want, and I don’t understand why you think you need to leave.” She tossed her hands up. “You already did leave, but you came back.”

  “I thought . . . I thought Annie was with child, and things were confusing. I owe it to myself to try again.” Jacob wouldn’t be shunned by the bishop since he wasn’t baptized, but his family could still choose their own form of shunning. As much as he feared that, to stay would be too much to bear.

  Hannah opened her mouth to talk, but their father beat her to it.

  “Your bruder is right. This is his time to decide how he will live his life. You don’t have to agree with his choices, but they are his to make.” Daed looked at Jacob. “But you will do things differently this time. You will not sneak off in the middle of the night, nor will you be out of communication with your mother, keeping her worried all the time.”

  “But Daed, Jacob is choosing a life away from us, a life with the Englisch, and—”

  Hannah stopped when their father held up a palm.

  “Hannah, have you always chosen correctly?” Daed took off his glasses and set them on the table. “We all loved Ethan, and I say this not to hurt you but to make you understand. We had our doubts about Ethan, an Englisch man coming into our district, courting our daughter, and . . .” He trailed off when Hannah’s eyes started to fill with tears again.

  “But Daed, I didn’t know Ethan would be unfaithful to me. I didn’t know he suffered from such a deep depression that he would take his own life. I just knew that I loved him.” She swiped at her eyes. “How can you compare my situation to Jacob’s? I never threatened to leave, not once.”

  Jacob stayed quiet, his chin on his chest. The last thing he ever wanted to do was to hurt his family or Annie. He reached up and rubbed his pounding temples, wishing he hadn’t thrown the pills away, wishing he could just be happy marrying Annie and staying here.

  Daed gazed into Hannah’s eyes. “You are with the man you are meant to be with—Isaac. What I’m saying is that a wrong choice as viewed in the eyes of others might be exactly the choice necessary to set you on the path God has intended for you all along.”

  Now both of Jacob’s socked feet were tapping against the wood floors. Buddy growled a little but then left the kitchen. Jacob wrung his clammy hands together in his lap. This was the most he’d heard from his father in a while. His dad was the last person Jacob could have predicted would come to his defense. He glanced at his mother, who had remained quiet with her head down.

  “If Annie had truly been with child, it would have been his duty to marry her, to be a good husband and father. His actions would have cost him his right to choose.” Daed stroked his beard. “I’ve spent much time thinking on this. We’ve all known Jacob isn’t happy. And I believe we know that he didn’t stay in the Englisch world long enough to know what he wanted, but he was prepared to come back and marry Annie, to do the right thing. Let the boy go.”

  Jacob couldn’t stand it anymore. “Mamm?”

  His mother slowly lifted her head and looked at him. Going along with one’s husband was expected from an Amish fraa. For the most part, Mamm had allowed Daed to make final decisions, unless it was something big like this. Daed couldn’t stand to see her hurting. If she put her foot down right now and said it would break her heart for Jacob to leave, Daed would let her override him, and Jacob would be back to where he’d been before, feeling the need to sneak out.

  All eyes were on Mamm. The clock on the mantel in the living room ticked in slow rhythm, each second sounding louder than the last. Hannah’s sniffling echoed in the quiet room as they all waited. Finally, his mother took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly.

  “How much money did you get for your telescope?” She kept her gaze fixed on Jacob, no expression on her face.

  “Nine hundred and eighty-two dollars.” He recalled saving the money for over a year, and how his mother had not wanted him to make the purchase. It was his daed who had said it was Jacob’s choice to make. But that was a telescope. This could be the rest of his life. “I—I know that won’t last long, but I have a little money saved too. I’ll get a job right away.”

  “Where will you go?” Hannah said with enough emotion on her face for all of them. “To Houston again?”

  Jacob shook his head. “Nee. I’m not going
back there. I want a fresh start, alone, so I can figure things out.”

  “Maybe you can stay near here? Maybe in the city of Lancaster? Or at least somewhere in Pennsylvania. You don’t have to go far to figure things out.” Hannah had taken over the conversation again, but Jacob was still waiting on his mother to say what was on her mind. Despite his jumbled thoughts, his father’s approval, and Hannah’s tears, if his mother begged him to stay, he would. She’d been through a lot, and for once—for her—he would put his selfish thoughts away. Jacob hadn’t walked into the room feeling this way. He’d been defiant, ready to take them on in his moment of need. But as his mother looked at him, Jacob was sure she could see his soul, his heart talking to hers, begging for her blessing. It’ll kill me if I stay here, Mamm.

  His mother’s chair scratched against the floor as she eased it backward and stood up. She went to the refrigerator and felt around on top of it, stretching and reaching until she pulled down an envelope and handed it to Jacob.

  “This should be enough to help you get on your feet.” She blinked her eyes a few times, then almost smiled. “Sohn, your father and I have always feared this day would come. Although, when you proposed to Annie, we thought you’d chosen to stay. Then when we thought Annie was pregnant, I felt like you’d do the right thing in the end. But I fear it will always come back to this, to you wanting to leave.”

  I love you, Mamm.

  His mother nodded as if Jacob had spoken the words aloud. “Stay in God’s light, Jacob. Find peace.” Then she turned and left the room. His father stood and followed behind her. Seconds later Hannah left too.

  He was victorious. He should want to celebrate.

  But he’d never felt more alone.

  Daniel got off work early Tuesday afternoon. Erecting storage sheds provided a nice income, but it was laborious and he was happy to rest his muscles for an afternoon. He decided to go see Edna at home. She and John weren’t at worship service Sunday or he would have talked to her then. Someone said John was down with a stomach bug. He would have preferred to find Edna on one of her days at the market selling jams and jellies, but Charlotte was anxious to know if Edna was going in and out of Ethan’s house, whether she had a key or not. Edna loved to bake for others even though she was diabetic, which might explain the needles Daniel had found in the trash. But the syringes looked too big to belong to Edna. The more he thought about it, he was sure they couldn’t be hers. He’d seen Edna give herself plenty of shots.

  As he guided his buggy toward Edna’s house, he had time to think about his conversations with Charlotte the past two days. Their phone calls had become more personal, and there was a playfulness between them that he enjoyed. They’d also spent time together after worship service on Sunday, but he wasn’t sure their growing friendship was healthy for either one of them. Charlotte wasn’t Amish. But he could see why Hannah and her family had grown to love her.

  He pulled up to Edna’s house, knowing her husband wouldn’t be home yet and praying that Edna would behave herself. Sloshing through the soaked grass from the rains earlier, he made his way to the front door and knocked. Edna opened the door right away, and a smile stretched across her face.

  “Daniel. What a nice surprise. Come in.” She stepped aside, but he hesitated and looked toward the porch swing.

  “Can we just sit outside? I like the smell of the rain, and it feels good out here.”

  “Ya, okay.”

  They both sat down on the swing, too close for Daniel’s comfort, but better than their being alone inside. He took off his hat and turned slightly to face her. “I need to ask you something.”

  Edna’s lips turned up at the corners and her eyes twinkled. “Okay.”

  She smelled good, like lavender, and it reminded Daniel of all the times he’d kissed her, thinking they had a future together. “Is there any reason why you might be going in and out of Ethan’s old house?”

  Edna’s smile faded. She avoided his eyes and fingered the string on her kapp. “Nee, of course not. Why are you asking me this?”

  “Someone’s been going in and out, and Ethan’s sister thought you might have a key.” Daniel kept his eyes on Edna’s, wanting to take note of every reaction now that her relationship with Ethan was out in the open.

  Without looking up, she said, “I suppose that woman has been spewing lies about me.”

  Daniel stared at her. He’d cared about her so much at one point, but the thought of her seeing Ethan behind John’s back turned his stomach. Granted, Edna hadn’t married John yet, but it was still wrong. Then he thought about the way she’d come on to him recently, as a married woman. But he wasn’t here to judge Edna, simply to make sure she hadn’t recently been in the house. “Do you have a key to Ethan’s house?”

  Her eyes darted to his. “Nee. I do not. Why would I?”

  Daniel considered telling her that half of their community knew about her having a relationship with Ethan while she was dating John, but there wasn’t any point in that. “Someone has been going into the house. His sister—Charlotte—owns it, you know, and we are just trying to figure out who might be going in and out. All the doors and windows are locked. Charlotte asked me if I thought you might have a key.”

  “Charlotte is an evil woman. You can’t believe anything she says. She lied to Hannah and the entire King family.”

  “The Kings think of Charlotte as family now. She took care of Lena when she was having treatments for her cancer in Houston. And we’ve had a bit of trouble with Annie and Jacob lately too. Charlotte was helpful with all of that as well. She’s a gut person who regrets the lies she told us.” His need to defend Charlotte was strong, and he wanted to say more, but Edna’s bottom lip was twitching and her eyes blazed with anger.

  “I cannot believe you would defend her.”

  Daniel reminded himself why he was here, and it wasn’t to get into an argument with Edna. “Someone has been going in and out of the house, and I told her I would ask you. You said you don’t have a key, so that’s the end of it.” Daniel stood up. “Sorry to have bothered you.”

  Edna wrapped the string of her kapp so tightly around her finger, the tip of her finger turned red. “I have no reason to go there. Don’t listen to any of her rubbish, Daniel.”

  Stuffing his desire to respond, he instead said, “Have a good day, Edna. I’ll let Charlotte know you don’t have a key and that you haven’t been in the haus.”

  She stood up and finally unwound the string from her finger. “You sound like you are friendly with that Englisch woman.”

  “I told you, we had some things going on with Annie and Jacob, and she helped us with that.”

  “I don’t understand how an outsider could have helped.”

  “It’s a long story, Edna, but Charlotte and I have become friends.”

  “Just beware of her, Daniel. She doesn’t tell the truth. What kind of person pretends to be Amish, deceiving our entire community?”

  He turned to her after taking a deep, calming breath. “Someone who loved her brother very much and wanted desperately to know why he killed himself. She’d lost her way for a while, but she stretches herself thin these days trying to do gut for others. Charlotte is strong in her faith, and we both know that the Lord forgives us the moment we ask Him to. Did you ask for forgiveness, Edna?” It just slipped out, and Daniel wished right away that he hadn’t said it.

  “I knew that woman was spreading lies about me. And you sound like you’re in love with her! But I know that can’t be true.” She took a slow step toward him and cupped his cheek. Daniel grabbed her wrist and stared at her. Then he let her go and walked toward his buggy as a gentle sprinkle started to fall. By the time he reached his buggy, it was pouring.

  “Daniel!”

  He held a hand to his forehead to block the pounding pellets. Edna was still standing on the porch.

  “Can you please stay a bit longer?” she yelled. “There are things we need to talk about.”

  Daniel co
uldn’t think of one more thing he needed to say to Edna. Without answering her, he got in his buggy to make the trek toward home, his mind drifting to the possibility that the roads could start to flood. They’d already gotten a lot of rain today.

  Annie navigated her buggy around the water pooling on the road as she made her way to Pequea Creek. It was late afternoon and the weather was horrible, but she hadn’t been able to reach Jacob to reschedule. She’d even tried calling Hannah’s phone, but it went straight to voice mail. She assumed cell phone usage was getting back to normal, for emergencies only. Annie’s father had reminded her and Daniel that it was time to put the phones away. But the note Jacob had left her on the mailbox asking her to meet him at six at the creek had piqued her interest enough to go, despite her parents trying to talk her out of making the trip. Jacob had signed the note, I love you with all my heart and soul.

  Thankfully, it had stopped raining by the time Annie pulled up to their picnic spot near the water’s edge. Jacob’s buggy was hitched to the same tree they always used, and Annie pulled up beside him. She could see Jacob sitting on a rock, his back to her. He didn’t turn around as she sloshed through the mud to get to him. When she reached him, she said his name, tempted to start the conversation by fussing at him for dragging her out in this weather. But when Jacob turned around, Annie brought a hand to her chest.

  “Annie . . .” Tears streamed down his face, and his entire body trembled as he stood up. “Annie . . .,” he said again, sobbing. Instinctively, she pulled him into a hug and stroked his hair like she would a child.

  “I’m here, Jacob.”

  “Annie.”

  She’d never seen Jacob cry like this. She’d seen him come close, and she’d heard him get emotional on the phone, but never anything like this. As she kept her arms around him, he cried as if he’d been holding in his feelings for years. It wasn’t long before Annie was crying with him.