A Season of Change Page 15

  Benjamin sensed again that she wanted to talk about her family, but she never elaborated on anything.

  Rose spread a red-and-white checkered blanket on the ground, and after they’d each filled a plate, they sat down, each with a glass of tea.

  “The yardman, Edgar, he sprays for ants down here by the pond, but I’ll leave the picnic basket on the bench, just to be safe.” She nodded at his plate. “I see you got a little of everything . . . even carrots.”

  Benjamin chuckled, then picked one up and pushed it toward her.

  “Eww, nee. Get that orange thing away from me.” She pointed to the picnic basket. “Don’t make me pull out a banana.”

  He tried to make a face like she did, but he suspected he probably looked silly since she laughed. He was going to ask what her aversion was to carrots, but then his eyes landed on her mouth again, and he lost his train of thought.

  Gus’s fishing supplies landed with a thud on the front porch before the screen door closed at the main house.

  “Oh dear.” Rose’s eyes widened. “I don’t think he even knocked. And we have a guest staying there.”

  * * *

  Esther rushed from the kitchen to the living room when the screen door slammed shut and Gus began bellowing out her name.

  “Gus.” She put a finger to her lips. “No yelling. We have a guest staying with us, and he’s upstairs.”

  “Well, we need to talk.” He looped his thumbs under suspenders that weren’t nearly as tight against his belly as they used to be. Why hadn’t she noticed that he’d lost weight?

  Sighing, she motioned for him to follow her to the kitchen. Luckily, Lizzie had gone to take food to some shut-ins around their area.

  “You will keep your voice down.” She pointed to a chair. “Sit. Do you want kaffi?”

  “No. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t need to sit down. I need to know why two more people are occupying space down by the pond during my fishing time. I already missed several days of fishing because I was in the hospital. Now Rose Petal and her beau are down there and claim to be fishing.”

  Esther sat at the table and tapped it with her first finger. “Sit.”

  “Oh, good grief.” He pulled out the chair and groaned as he sat. “I’m dying, Esther. Do you really have to reprimand me? Can’t a man on his way out at least enjoy a little fishing? And another thing”—he cut his eyes at her from across the table—“you must have told your entire clan that I’m sick. Why would you do that? They don’t like me. But they must feel sorry for me because when I got home this morning, I had four casseroles in the refrigerator, two chocolate pies on the table, and two loaves of homemade bread on the counter. And a whole bunch of dips and chips and other stuff.” He scowled. “Esther, I can’t eat all that.”

  Esther gleamed on the inside. “Well, the pies are from me. And obviously Evelyn and Naomi made the casseroles, which can be divided into portions and frozen. Rose is responsible for the appetizers. I’m not sure who gets credit for the bread.” When he opened his mouth to speak, she said, “Hush. Now you hear me out. It is not that any of our little group doesn’t like you.” She cleared her throat when he frowned, both of them knowing Lizzie wasn’t included in that statement. “But they don’t like the way you treat them sometimes, and there is a difference. They were all saddened by your diagnosis, and everyone is going to donate blood so that you won’t be denied a transfusion when you need one.”

  “Everyone?” He leaned back in the chair and folded his hands across his stomach.

  “Ya, Gus. Even Lizzie.”

  “Well, surprise, surprise.” He lowered his head for a couple of seconds before he looked back at her. “Esther, I don’t want you giving blood. You’re terrified of all that medical stuff. Although I’d rather have your blood flowing through my veins as opposed to the others.”

  “It doesn’t work like that unless one of us has your exact blood type, which is unlikely since it’s not common. But each time one of us gives blood, we can give it in your name.”

  He stared at her for a long while. “Why would you all do that?”

  “Because despite what you think, Amos and Naomi and Evelyn and Jayce all care about you.” She raised a palm to shush him when he opened his mouth to speak. “And yes, in her own way, Lizzie cares about you too.”

  Esther waited for an argument from Gus, but a dazed look of despair spread over his face. “What did Jayce say?”

  She cleared her throat, struggling to keep her emotions in check. “He was visibly upset.”

  Gus turned his head away from her. “Hmm” was all he said.

  “Can I make a suggestion?” Esther raised an eyebrow.

  “Well, if I say no, you’ll do it anyway.” He waved a hand dismissively. “So go ahead.”

  “You are capable of being nice to people. I saw that with the staff at the hospital. And when I questioned you about it, you said you’d like to go out on a gut note.” She shrugged. “Why not be kind, the way you were with those nurses, to the people who care about you? The day you returned from the hospital, you were showered with food. And everyone in our little family—and yes, Gus, we are a family—is planning to give blood on your behalf.” She slouched into the chair and grinned. “It might put you farther away from that front row by the furnace you spoke about.”

  He was quiet, which was unusual.

  “I’m sure you have a lot on your mind, Gus. But you should be grateful to have friends, especially now.”

  “I’ve told you. You’re my only friend. And I reckon Jayce is too.” His slumped into the chair. “Um, by the way. Did you find out who sent you those flowers?”

  “Nee, I didn’t. And I’m not going to worry about it. We don’t need you sitting on the porch in an attempt to protect us. I don’t feel like the flowers were sent with any ill will intended. Would I like to know who sent them? Ya, I guess I would. But I’m not going to dwell on it.”

  His scratched his beard. “I still think I need to stay closer, to keep an eye on you—and even Rose Petal.” Esther sighed, but didn’t correct him. “So don’t let your crazy sister come at me with a baseball bat if I’m on the front porch again.”

  “We will be fine, and you startled us, or Lizzie wouldn’t have been wielding a bat.”

  “Whatever. She’ll use any excuse to get at me,” he grumbled under his breath.

  Crossing her arms, Esther squinted at him from across the table. She was going to have to play hardball with Gus if she was going to get any results. That’s the way it had always been, and it seemed more important now. “Do you want to stay friends with me, Gus?”

  His mouth fell open, then he snapped it closed. “You gonna bail on me, Esther? It would be nice to have a couple of friends on this earth before I’m hauled away to the firepit.”

  “Rule number one.” She held up a finger. “There is no more talk about going to hell. I believe in positive affirmations, and that’s what we will start with. Repeat after me . . . I love the Lord, and I’m going to heaven.”

  “We both know that ain’t true.” He ran a hand through his matted gray hair tied back in the usual ponytail.

  “Say it.”

  He groaned. “I love the Lord, and I’m going to heaven.” He rattled it off fast and laced with insincerity, but at least he’d said it. “You’re gonna try to save me with your religious stuff, and I told you I don’t want any of that.”

  “I think you do.” She hoped her expression was firm enough to make her point.

  “Well, you’re wrong. It’s too late for me anyway.”

  Esther didn’t hear any regret in his voice. “Rule number two,” she said as she held up two fingers. “You will not say that again—that it’s too late for you.”

  “I know what you’re doing, and it’s what I asked you not to do. I don’t want to be your charity case.” He sighed. “I will try to be nicer to people. But don’t expect me to go all religious on you. Ain’t happening.”

  We shall see. “Fair
enough. Being nicer to people is a start. And Gus . . . that includes Lizzie too.”

  He lifted himself to a standing position, shaking his head. “I figured it would.”

  Esther stood up also. “How lovely it would be if you thanked Evelyn and Naomi for the casseroles, and Rose for the appetizers.”

  “Good grief. Dying is gonna kill me.” He turned to leave.

  “Do you want me to go with you?”

  Gus slowly turned around. “If I thought it was because you enjoyed my company, I’d say yes. But no one enjoys my company. You’re just afraid I won’t go say thank you to Naomi.”

  She tried to hide her amusement. “Perhaps it’s a little of both.”

  He stared at her long and hard. “Okay.”

  Esther’s heart warmed as she followed him out the door. “Naomi is on the porch. The twins are usually napping about now, so this would be a gut time to go say danki to her.”

  Gus stomped across the yard taking long strides. For a man who was dying, it hadn’t seemed to slow him down. Esther was about six feet behind him when he reached the porch of Naomi and Amos’s house. He didn’t even go up the stairs.

  “Welcome home, Gus.” Naomi leaned the broom she’d been using against the house. “Is everything okay?”

  Esther finally caught up to him and stood beside him. “Ya, everything is fine,” she said before she nudged Gus with her elbow.

  “Thank you for whatever food you left for me at my house. And I’m sorry I’ve been mean in the past.” Then he spun around and headed toward his cottage.

  Naomi’s mouth fell open. “I have no words,” she said to Esther in a low voice as Gus walked away. “I know you told him to say that, but I’m still a little flabbergasted.”

  “I told him he should thank you for the food. The apology that came after that was all him.” Esther stuffed her hands in the pockets of her apron. “Baby steps,” she said before she turned to go back to the inn. Evelyn and Jayce didn’t live on-site, so maybe he would drive to their house. Facing Jayce was going to be much more difficult for Gus.

  He stopped where Rose and Benjamin were fishing down by the pond. Esther couldn’t hear what was said, but when Rose’s mouth fell open, she supposed he had thanked her also.

  When Lizzie returned and pulled her buggy up to the barn, Gus never looked her way, and Lizzie didn’t pay him any mind either.

  * * *

  Rose finally lifted her jaw. “Ach, wow. That was a first.” Gus had thanked her for leaving the appetizers at his house. Even though he had grumbled about something to do with fishing as he walked away, it was still shocking. “I’m sure Esther had something to do with him expressing his gratitude.”

  Benjamin grinned as he pointed to her fishing pole. “You’ve got a bite.”

  Her eyes grew huge. “Do I pull the pole out of the water now?” She had it clutched so tightly with both hands that her knuckles were turning white.

  After setting down his pole, he went behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and held the pole with his hands atop hers. “Feel how the fish is hitting on your bait? You want to wait until it latches on for sure and takes off with your worm, then you’ll yank the rod upward. It’s probably a catfish since I put on weights to fish at the bottom, and . . .”

  Rose didn’t hear anything else he said as she stood perfectly still. The feel of his arms around her and the spicy scent she’d come to associate with him had hypnotized her as she floated a foot off the ground. She’d already caught her fish. At least, she hoped so.

  “He’s got it! Now!” Benjamin’s loud voice in her ear pulled her back down to earth and she did as he said. She could feel the weight of the fish tugging on the end of the line.

  “I’ve got it. He’s huge.” She glanced over her shoulder and almost knocked into his chin. “I should pull it in now, ya?”

  He eased away from her, grinning. “Slowly reel him in. He’s all yours.”

  Rose heeded his advice and began to turn the crank on the fishing pole. She missed his arms around her, but she couldn’t wait to see what she’d caught. “It must be huge. This one is a fighter.” She giggled. “Are they all fighters? I wouldn’t know. But I’m sure it’s big. Do you think it will be big enough to clean and eat? I like fried catfish.”

  She could feel the fish coming near the surface, so she turned the spinning handle even faster until she was able to yank the fish out of the water. Her jaw dropped. When she turned around, Benjamin had a hand over his mouth, but he was laughing too hard to hide his amusement. “We might need a few more of those to make a meal.”

  She eyed the small catfish that couldn’t have been more than six or eight inches long. Not even as long as her shoe. “He felt enormous.”

  Benjamin walked to her side, eased the hook out of the fish’s mouth, then set the little fellow free. “We’ll let him grow some more,” he said, still grinning. “Ach, well . . . it was your first catch.”

  He was staring at her mouth again, which he seemed to do often. Rose didn’t mind. She was probably guilty of the same thing.

  As he slipped another worm on her hook, he let go of the line. “I thought I’d help you out with that worm.”

  She laughed. “Why? Because the worm I put on looked like a beehive by the time I got through wrapping it around the hook? I wanted to make sure it stayed on. I used to hear mei bruders come back and talk about all the big ones that got away. I didn’t want mei big one”—she laughed again—“to get away.”

  “Well, it didn’t.” He picked up his fishing pole, and they both sat on the bench. “Fishing takes a lot of patience. We might be here all day.”

  “I’m okay with that if you are.” She turned to face him, fighting off the urge to look at his mouth. They’d done things out of order. The kiss should have been something to look forward to, but she already knew how good it felt, which just made her long for it again.

  “I’m perfectly fine with it.” He eased an arm around her, and Rose laid her head on his shoulder.

  They didn’t catch any more fish. But they talked. Actually, Rose did most of the talking, but once again, she was careful. She enjoyed Benjamin’s company, and even though he insisted that he loved listening to her jabber—Rose’s words, not his—she was on alert, careful not to say too much. She wasn’t sure when the demons of her childhood began to surface. They had to have always been there. Maybe her chattering had kept them at bay. But living with Esther and Lizzie had shown her what a normal family could feel like, and it had her analyzing her life. One topic bullied its way into her mind lately—could she be a good mother? Or would she be like her own mother, a woman so subservient that she allowed Rose’s father to rule his household any way he saw fit?

  As the sun began its descent, they sat quietly on the bench for a while, having packed up all the fishing gear.

  Benjamin turned to her and said, “I need to ask you something.” He flinched a little. “And it’s okay to say no.”

  “You can ask me anything.” They were close enough for him to kiss her. She wondered if that was the question.

  “Mei mamm wants to cook supper for you Wednesday night.” He rubbed his forehead. “We haven’t been seeing each other long, and I know you met her at worship service, but she wanted me to ask you. She said she’d like to get to know you better.” He paused, smiling. “I told her I was still getting to know you, but she’s a gut cook.”

  “I’d love to come for supper Wednesday.”

  What better way to learn about a man than to see him interact with his mother?

  Chapter 15

  Benjamin escorted Rose to the front door of The Peony Inn. “I had a really gut time today. It was fun watching you catch your first fish, and the food was wonderful.”

  “We were together a long time, but the day seemed to fly by. It’s time for me to start cooking supper, but it feels like we just ate lunch.” She did that thing with her nose again. “I mentioned earlier that we have a guest. He arrived yesterday to attend
a funeral that is being held Monday, but he isn’t leaving until Friday. I’ll be glad when he’s gone. I locked mei bedroom door last night. And I’m glad I did because I heard footsteps in the hallway late at night. I usually wear earplugs because Lizzie snores so loud, but I didn’t put them in because this man—Lloyd—makes me nervous. I don’t like the way he looks at me, and when I heard footsteps, someone turned the doorknob to mei bedroom. It had to be him. I could hear Lizzie snoring downstairs, and Esther rarely comes upstairs because of her knees. I was going to tell you earlier, but I didn’t want to start our day with that subject.” She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered.

  Benjamin’s jaw tensed. “Did you tell Esther and Lizzie?”

  “Nee, but Esther didn’t have a gut feeling about him when he arrived. She and Lizzie stayed close to me last night during supper, and again this morning at breakfast. I’m sure it will be fine.” She paused, sighing. “You know how sometimes you just get a gut feeling about a person, but other times, you can just sense something isn’t right? That’s how I feel about Lloyd.”

  “I don’t like the idea of you staying upstairs with him by yourself, especially if you think he tried to get in your room. And you don’t even have a phone to call for help.” His stomach roiled at the thought of someone trying to hurt her.

  “I’m sure it will be fine. I probably shouldn’t have said anything. All I’d have to do is scream, and Lizzie would come running up the stairs with the baseball bat she keeps under her bed.” She chuckled. “I’ll be fine.”

  From the little he knew about Lizzie, he wasn’t surprised that she had a baseball bat, but he wasn’t sure everything would be fine. “I’ll be right back.”

  He returned with his cell phone. “Mei work calls come mostly on the landline we have in the barn. This is supposed to be for emergencies.” He winked at her. “And for women who call me from out in a barn at night.” Benjamin pushed it toward her. “Take it. You won’t be able to call me. Ach, well, I guess you could if I go out in the barn.” He grinned briefly. “But I’ll feel better knowing you have a way to call someone for help.”