His Love Endures Forever Page 11

  Danielle leaned against the headrest and closed her eyes. Her future mother-in-law would undoubtedly make life miserable for her, but she sure hoped that things would somehow be okay between Levi and his mother. By now, his sister Emily and her family knew about the wedding, and Jacob and Beth Ann knew too. Everyone would likely be polite about it, but Danielle knew they all had to be upset that Levi was marrying outside of the faith. Danielle thought about her own mother. She’d toyed with the idea of calling her, telling her that she was getting married, that she was going to be a grandmother. But an unfamiliar sense of protection washed over Danielle for the life growing inside her. She didn’t want her mother around her child.

  “Danielle, I’m going to tell you something. And I hope you’re listening.”

  “I’m listening.” Danielle opened her eyes and turned to face Martha.

  “Levi has a strong faith, and—”

  “Martha,” Danielle interrupted, slapping one hand to her knee. “I know. We’ve had this conversation already. I’m not going to do anything to mess up Levi’s faith.”

  They were quiet for a few minutes before Martha spoke up again. “God is here for you. Even in the middle of all this messiness. You just have to reach out to Him.” She turned to Danielle again as they pulled into the driveway at home and gave her a pat on the leg, smiling.

  Then where has He been for the last eighteen years? Standing on the sidelines while my mother beat me? When my father died? When Matthew got me pregnant?

  Levi could believe what he wanted to. But if that was all that God had to offer, Danielle didn’t need any more from Him.

  VERA SLAMMED THE dinner plates down on the table Tuesday night, fury building inside of her. Surely Anna Marie had gotten hold of her son by now and talked some sense into him. But just in case, Vera’s backup plan was on her way. She’d just put the last plate on the table when Betsy walked into the kitchen.

  “Is Sarah coming for supper so she can try to talk Levi out of marrying Danielle?” Betsy opened the refrigerator and stared inside.

  Vera stopped what she was doing and eyed her daughter. “Betsy, don’t stand there with the refrigerator open. And what in the world made you say that?” Vera moved toward the stove and stirred the pot of stew she had simmering, taking a deep breath, hoping that Betsy wouldn’t say such things over supper. Sarah was her last hope, and she’d already figured it out. The way to Levi’s heart was through his faith.

  “I know you don’t like Danielle, and you want Levi to marry Sarah. But I really like Danielle.” Betsy pulled the rhubarb jam and a jar of chowchow from the refrigerator and placed them on the table. She twisted the top from the chowchow and made a face the way she always did. Her youngest daughter didn’t like the pickled vegetables that were served with lunch and supper.

  Vera put the lid back on the stew before turning to face young Betsy. “I have never said that, Betsy. And you best mind your manners tonight. Saying such things will only upset your bruder.”

  “Did you know that fifty percent of first marriages in the Englisch world end in divorce?” Betsy tapped a finger to her chin and smiled. “But I don’t think that will happen to Danielle and Levi.”

  Lord, give me strength. Vera closed her eyes for a moment, sighed, then opened her eyes and stared at her daughter. “Betsy, where on God’s green earth do you learn of such things?” She shook her head, walked to Betsy, and straightened her kapp, which was lopsided.

  Betsy eased away frowning, pushing strands of blond hair away from her face. Then she shrugged. “I heard it from Mr. Parsons at the hardware store.”

  “Don’t believe everything you hear,” Vera mumbled as she checked the rolls in the oven. Although, she suspected such a statistic might actually be true.

  “Are you saying Mr. Parsons lied?”

  Vera closed the oven door and spun around. “I didn’t say that.”

  “Then how do you know it’s not true?”

  “Betsy!” Vera stomped a foot, but then was thankful for a knock at the door. “That must be Sarah. She offered to come a bit early to help me with supper. Betsy, go let her in.” She gave Betsy a gentle push toward the living room. “And remember what I said. Mind your manners tonight.”

  A minute later, Sarah walked into the kitchen carrying a chocolate pie.

  “Are you comfortable with what we discussed?” Vera felt guilt flood over her like a rushing river.

  But Sarah smiled. “Ya. I am.”

  LEVI WAS SURPRISED to see Sarah in the kitchen when he and his father walked in after work. “Sarah. How’d you get here?”

  Sarah smiled at him as she placed a pan of rolls on the table. “Ach, mei bruder brought me. I saw your mamm earlier today, and she invited me to supper.”

  His mother rounded the table, kissed Levi on the cheek, and said, “I told Sarah you could drive her home after we eat. No need her traveling in her buggy alone at night when it’s not necessary.”

  Levi forced a smile. The last thing he felt like doing later was getting the horse and buggy back out and driving Sarah home in this cold weather. “Sure.”

  He pulled out his chair at the kitchen table and sat down. It didn’t take an overly smart man to figure out what was going on. It was likely Mamm’s plan to get Levi to cancel the wedding. That was never going to happen, but Levi figured he’d play along. He loved his mother, but sometimes she didn’t know when to stop meddling. Levi had thought that maybe she was coming to accept the idea that he and Danielle were going to be a family. So much for that.

  Sarah sat down beside Levi. Betsy sat across from them, and his parents were at each end. After the blessing, Betsy was the first one to speak. “Are you going to Levi’s wedding?” Betsy smiled across the table at Sarah, whose cheeks flushed a rosy pink right away. Levi quickly stuffed a piece of roll in his mouth so he didn’t burst out laughing. This is what you get, Mamm.

  “I . . . uh . . .” Sarah dabbed at her mouth with her napkin, then Mamm rescued her.

  “Betsy, it’ll just be family at Levi’s small wedding.” Mamm was three shades of red as she spoke, and she aimed for control of the conversation. “So, Sarah, how are things going at the bakery? Aren’t you working at Abbey’s now?”

  “Ya.” Sarah flashed a perfect smile in Mamm’s direction. “Only five or ten hours per week, but I like it. I love to bake.”

  “I know we’re looking forward to that chocolate pie you brought.” Mamm grinned, winking at Sarah.

  Levi shifted uneasily, wondering what the two women were plotting. He looked at his father for any hint of what was to come, but his father just shrugged.

  SARAH WAS THANKFUL when Vera sent Betsy upstairs to bathe and dress for bed. It had become quite obvious how much Levi’s little sister liked Danielle, especially when she said that Danielle was the prettiest girl she’d ever seen. She’d mentioned the wedding three more times too, and Sarah found herself wondering what she was doing here. Am I crazy? Is this right? But every time a doubt shot through her, confirmation soothed it. It was best for them all if Levi stayed where he belonged. It was her duty to see this through. Still, she was glad to say good night to busybody Betsy.

  “I guess I should be heading home.” Sarah stood up, and when she did, so did Levi and his father. She turned to Levi’s mother. “Danki, Vera, for such a gut meal. I’d like to help you clean up before I go.”

  “Nee, nee.” Vera waved a hand in the air. “Let Levi drive you home before it gets any colder outside.” She stood up, walked to Sarah, and gave her a hug. “We’re so happy you came for supper. Give mei best to your mamm and family.”

  LEVI FOLLOWED SARAH to the hat rack by the door and waited for her to get her black bonnet and cape on, then he bundled himself up in his black coat and gloves. This first day of June had been in the 50s. Levi would be glad when the nights started to warm up like the days were slowly doing.

  “I hope you don’t mind taking me home.” Sarah tied her bonnet strings under her chin. “Your mudder s
eemed so excited for me to come for supper.” Sarah smiled, dropping her arms to her sides. “I just couldn’t say no.”

  “No problem.” Levi opened the door but then turned. “You might as well wait here while I get the horse hitched to the buggy. No need for you to be out in the cold.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  Before Levi had time to argue, Sarah followed him to the barn. She even helped him get Chester hitched to the buggy.

  After he’d helped Sarah into the buggy, Levi walked around and got in himself. All the while, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever ride in a buggy again after Saturday. Would he purchase a car? Would Danielle drive them around everywhere? Would he wave to family and friends traveling by buggy as he zipped by them in a heated automobile? Could he keep his buggy and Chester? Did everything have to change? So many things that he hadn’t had time to think about . . .

  Levi looked up through the plastic weather shield in front of him, thankful for the protection from the wind. He wondered how many billions of stars were out there, but at least a few million seemed to be shining down on Canaan tonight. He was going to miss the peacefulness of buggy rides and stargazing, except maybe when the temperatures dropped well below freezing.

  He lost himself in the clippity-clop of Chester’s hooves, a sound so familiar that Levi knew he would hear it in his sleep for the rest of his life, even if he were traveling by car in the future.

  “I love this time of year,” Sarah said softly as she leaned forward to look at the stars. “I love when the seasons change. And soon it will be summer.” She leaned back against the seat, closer to Levi than ever. And when he turned to glance at her, she lifted her chin, clearly offering her lush lips for a kiss. She was so close, he could feel her sweet breath on his face. He quickly faced forward, blinking rapidly. He’d never kissed Sarah, but he probably would have in time. Sarah would have seen to that. He fought a smirk. He’d met few Amish girls so forward.

  His life would have been much simpler if he’d just stayed on course and followed his Amish upbringing. Even if he hadn’t married Sarah, he was certain there would have been another Amish woman in his future. They would have married the way his parents had, in an Amish ceremony that would have lasted all day, then had lots of kinner and raised them all according to the Ordnung. Levi wondered how he and Danielle would raise the baby. Would the child adhere to any of the Amish traditions that Levi cherished? There was nothing more glorious than an Amish barn-raising. Would their child ever have an opportunity to participate in one, to know how it felt for an entire community to erect a barn in one day? Would their children have a love of the land, run barefoot through the fields, milk cows, take turns cranking the handle for homemade ice cream, churn their own butter, and still keep things simple, even though they weren’t Amish? His mind was awhirl when Sarah touched him on the arm.

  “Are you hearing me, Levi? You seem a million miles away.” She rubbed his arm for a moment. “But I guess that’s to be expected when your wedding is only a few days away.”

  Levi’s heart flipped in his chest. He and Danielle were supposed to get their marriage license tomorrow, and by this time next week, he’d be a married man. A married man living in the Englisch world. It gave him a strange sort of comfort that their house wouldn’t have electricity for a while, even though he knew it was a disturbing thought for his bride-to-be. But Levi knew he was going to need to ease into the sort of comforts that Danielle was used to. He just hoped she’d be patient with him.

  Sarah sighed petulantly and edged away, dropping her hand.

  “I’m sorry, Sarah. You’re right. I am a bit lost in my own thoughts. What did you say?” He glanced in her direction. The headlights on the buggy cast enough of a glow that he could see her ivory skin, her pink lips slightly parted in a smile, and her eyes searching his. She was a beautiful woman, no doubt. Levi had wondered, particularly over the past few days, why he didn’t feel anything when he was with her. Not the way he did around Danielle. With Danielle, he’d always been comfortable, loved her as a friend . . . but now that they were getting married, his stomach flipped every time he thought about her. He couldn’t quite get a handle on why that was, since they’d always just been friends, but Levi could feel something changing. Or was it just fear? Was he really interpreting God’s calling correctly?

  All I know is that my stomach never flips around Sarah.

  “I was just thinking about you leaving here.” Sarah eased her hand around his arm and lowered her chin. “I’m happy for you, Levi.” She paused as she looked back at him, and Levi glanced at her again. She blinked several times before she spoke, and Levi could see the tears in the corners of her eyes. “I’m just incredibly sad that you’re leaving your faith.”

  Her words were like a punch to the gut. Levi sat taller. “I’m not leaving my faith. I can take it with me wherever I go.” He stared at her, needing her to agree with him. She—and his mother—made it sound like he was walking away from God and everything he’d ever believed in. Instead, he felt closer to Him than ever.

  Sarah lowered her head again and dabbed at one eye with the back of her glove. Then she looked back up at him, smiling a little. “Okay.”

  “What do you mean? You say ‘okay’ like you don’t agree. Just because I’m not going to be living among the Amish, that doesn’t mean I won’t be Christian, love God with all my heart, and do my best to live by His will.”

  “I know, Levi.” She sniffled, offering him a weak smile.

  Why do I need to defend my choices to you? He gave a gentle snap of the reins and picked up the pace.

  He tensed when he felt Sarah’s hand squeeze his arm again.

  “I’m sorry if I upset you.” Sarah leaned her head down on his shoulder, but quickly lifted back up and twisted to face him, putting her face within inches of his. “I’m sure you and Danielle will be very happy. But please understand that this came as a shock to me since you and I had been going to Sunday singings together, and . . .” She shrugged, sniffling again. “I was just surprised.”

  Levi took a deep breath, realizing that he hadn’t given enough thought to Sarah’s feelings. She’d probably had the wrong idea for a while now. “I’m sorry, Sarah. I don’t know how to explain. I just feel called to marry Danielle and take care of her and the baby.” Levi assumed that Sarah knew about the baby. His mother would have made sure of it. “But I will take my beliefs with me. Some things won’t change; my faith, my love of the land, daily devotions, and trying to be the best man I can, the man the Lord wants me to be.”

  “But you will be separated from our people. And maybe you can carry those things with you, but it won’t be the same, Levi. Your fraa will not cover her head or wear our conservative clothing. You’ll be connected to the world through modern conveniences. And there’s no way you can stay true to the Ordnung if you are not living the way the Ordnung tells us to live. You can’t have it both ways. You’re in or you’re out. And that makes me sad.”

  Levi took a deep breath and let it out slowly, remembering that Sarah was a woman. Yelling at her would be unacceptable. “I’m going to love God and stay true to my faith, even if that means that some things will have to change.”

  SARAH HAD UNDERESTIMATED Levi. And so had Vera. She could tell by the firm way Levi spoke to her that he was going to go through with this ridiculous wedding if she didn’t do something to stop it.

  They were quiet for a few minutes, and Sarah tried to speculate how Danielle had brainwashed Levi into this. God would never call a man away from his home and his life to marry outside the faith and to take on an Englisch fraa, a sinner who’d allowed herself to get pregnant by another man. Levi wasn’t thinking straight, and Sarah wondered what kind of strange hold Danielle had over him. She assumed it must be physical. Did she tease him with her womanly ways? That had to be it. Sarah put her hand on Levi’s strong leg. His muscle tensed, but she left her hand there. Two could play that game.

  Time to put a halt to th
is silly wedding once and for all.

  Eleven

  VERA FINISHED CLEANING THE KITCHEN BEFORE she walked into the living room. Elam was sitting on the couch reading the Bible, and Betsy was already upstairs in bed. Vera turned up the propane lamp on her side of the couch, and she eased down beside Elam. She was reaching for her Bible when he cleared his throat.

  The scowl on his face as he looked at her above his wirerimmed reading glasses told her she was about to get a talking to. She went ahead and pulled the Bible to her lap, then faced him. “What is it, Elam?”

  “You and Sarah are up to something, and you better be careful. We might not approve of Levi’s choices, but we can’t control them. Only God is in control.”

  Vera crossed her legs and nervously kicked her foot. “I know that, Elam. Sarah is just going to talk to Levi and make sure he understands what he is giving up. I think he’ll listen to her. I’m sure he has some sort of feelings for the maedel, and she might be able to get through to him where we failed.”

  Elam groaned, but she pressed on. “Levi doesn’t want this marriage, this boppli, Elam. He just thinks he does. God bless our Levi; he is an honorable man. But the wrong man is taking responsibility for this baremlich situation.”

  “Again, be careful, Vera. A child is a blessing. The situation might not be ideal, but I doubt the Lord would approve of you calling it terrible.” Elam ran a hand down his brownish-gray beard, studying Vera as if she’d done something horrible.

  “I know you think I’m meddling, Elam, but this is our sohn we’re talking about. I’ve done nothing more than encourage Sarah to speak with Levi, to help him to understand what leaving our community will mean.” She uncrossed her legs and waved a hand in his direction. “It didn’t take much to encourage Sarah to talk to Levi. The girl is crazy about him, and I know his choices are hurting her.” Vera shook her head. “How can he not see it? The two of them are perfectly suited. How could he choose Danielle over Sarah?”